Think about this…you are filming a movie for your Film Production class. The name of the movie is entitled: My Life Story. You have enlisted about 20 different friends and family members to help make this movie a success. Your parents are helping you out by purchasing food, water, and other drinks for all the volunteers. Now that everything is set, the only thing left to do is to begin filming the movie.
Everything is going fine until you get to the eighth scene of the movie. It is only ten minutes long. But, for some reason, the actors are not putting enough emphasis on the part of the scene where the wife and her husband have a huge fight, leaving her emotionally wounded, although he was the one who hurt her with his actions, turning her quest for accountability into feeling guilty that she brought up his betrayal in the first place.
All of a sudden, you yell out, “Cut!” Everybody takes a fifteen minute break. Before starting up again, you let the actors know that you have decided that instead of going through the script verbatim, leaving the wife wounded, the wife will stand up for herself, putting the husband out, and begin to pick up the broken pieces of her life. The rest of the movie will focus on her struggles, resilience, and trials as she lives life as a divorced woman.
Everyone loves this new scene. But they also realize there are several more scenes to go before the movie is done. So, they can’t take a break just yet.
As we sit and think about our own lives, we wish we could cut out a few scenes that don’t add up to the empowered new chapter part of us. We want the whole story to look good. But guess what? Unlike the actors in a film production scene, we cannot cut out the bad parts, slice the edges of the clips with razors in Adobe Premier Pro.
Both the good and the not so good parts of our story all work out in the end. The bad parts of our stories are the parts that help us build up endurance, resilience, and flourish in our new relationships. When we cut out the bad, messy, parts, we cut out the joyful, exhilarating parts as well. Healing requires wholeheartedness, for us to bring our whole selves to the table.
Healing from past hurts brings resilience, and resilience brings perspective. Creating an empowered new chapter of life requires perspective.
Until next time,