The Cycle of Learning & Knowledge Addiction

You’ve been running on the hamster 🐹 wheel 🛞 for a while. What’s keeping you there? You’re running on LACK.

The Lack Cycle of Love. Approval. Comfort. & Knowledge Addictions.

Your knowledge addiction is reinforcing your comfort addiction. The comfort addiction is reinforcing your approval addiction. The approval addiction is reinforcing your love addiction, and your starting and ending point remains the same.

If you could just watch one more video, read one more book, or listen to one more podcast, you know you’d be ready for action.

Stop lying to yourself.

You’ve been in this “learning” phase for over 10 years now.

Email me to start your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Program Without Financial Roadblocks today.


Grow or Go?

Never feel like forcing yourself to stay in something that God has obviously released you from is the best option. As a matter of fact, your growth will do the work for you. When people start seeing you growing after narcissistic abuse, they will make comments about you changing and being different, as if it’s a bad thing. It isn’t. They had gotten too comfortable with the “broken pieces” version of you. Either they will eventually hop on board or leave your life just as quickly as they entered it.

healing, grow or go, relationships, the love and freedom toxic relationship recovery coach

Until next time,



God created us with cravings, and part of these cravings are for people, places, things, and ideas.  When our cravings turn into lost, we have crossed the line from normality to addiction, opening the soul-tie door.  

The only way to reverse the soul tie door is to partner up with the Holy Spirit and severing ties with anything that places worldly comfort over Godly comfort.  The Godly comfort that we receive is the gift of the personhood of the Holy Spirit.  The enemy’s entire goal is to make us forget that we have everything that we need inside of us.

Like the Pharisees, we are tempted to believe that the answer is on the outside of the dish. Looking at things in this manner gives us tunnel vision. We see the trees right in front of us. Yet, we miss the beauty of the entire forest.  

Along with partnering up with the Holy Spirit, the second must-do is allowing your body to go through the withdrawal symptoms that is associated with addiction. This will be very uncomfortable initially. It also requires you to build up resiliency and tolerance for containment.

Knowing that we are not alone, that we are partnering up with the Holy Spirit, our support groups, our inner circle, and our church community will help us exemplify what the true Body of Christ is meant to be: one on which all of its members work together for the common good.

Until next time,


Healing with the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit lives inside of us to comfort, convict, teach, reveal, and sanctify.

When we’re in trouble, we turn to everything and everyone but the Holy Spirit. Speaking directly to the Holy Spirit who resides inside of us enables him to activate. He won’t force himself on us. For he is a gentleman. When it comes to being comforted, we prefer foods, drugs, alcohol, sex, television shows, shopping, and anything else that we can get our hands on. The problem with these alternatives is that they keep our minds, hearts, and souls tied and entangled in bondage.

We forget that we have a built-in comforter. That built-in comforter is there to wrap around us like the feeling of down feathers.

How many times do we forget to partner with the Holy Spirit when it comes to emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, financial, and relational healing? We want to be self-sufficient instead of God-sufficient. Self-sufficiency leads to pride, technology addictions, burn out, and disillusionment.

We forget to tap into the Holy Spirit because we tapped into our former partners portraying the angel of light, who he himself were infected with the spirit of narcissism. Thus, we think the answer is now tapping into ourselves, and not needing anybody. This is where we’ve got it wrong.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a lot of work. And not only is it a lot of work, it requires a lot of energy. Our minds and bodies are connected. Thus, as we are pouring out all of the massive thoughts that are in our minds, we are also pouring out all of the massive memories stored within the cells of our bodies.

When we tap into all that God has given us for our inheritance, we are truly using our keys to the kingdom here on earth.

Questions to ponder:

What are some new and undiscovered ways in which you can see the Holy Spirit?

What are some ways that you kept yourself from the Holy Spirit?

How did you learn to let go of your idea of the Holy Spirit box, carrying him around like an object that needs to be contained?  Or, have you surrendered to him being unleashed in every area of your life?

Be Still And Know

It feels good staying busy from daytime to night time. Go to bed and do it all over again. Keeping busy means being in a constant state of Energizer bunny mode.

We were not made for this. You cannot heal when you won’t be still. Restoration requires revelation. And revelation requires meditation. Simple. Do as this crewneck says. Take a BE STILL and know moment SO YOU CAN HAVE a come to Jesus moment. And be blessed!

Wear it year round on cool nights, or in the fall on cool days.

I know that it is FALL. You are ready to cozy up by bonfires, with books, great movies, and blankets. How about cozying up with empowerment? Flourishing? Resilience? Rooting. Grounded in comfort and the love of the Savior in every piece of clothing that you wear?

THE VALLEY OF GRACE SHOP is open. Check us out. Live in comfort.  LOVE in comfort.  Walk in comfort.  Live in love.

Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Divorce, & Remarriage with Authors Kirk & Debbie Taylor

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Divorce, & Remarriage with Authors Kirk & Debbie Taylor

The million dollar question is: Should I stay or should I go? Some people think the answer to the question is obvious. But it is not.

Self gaslighting ⛽️, magical thinking, and refusal to “see” what is really going on will make answering this question even harder.

Add the fact that you are a Christian, and your hands are tied. Why? We’ve been programmed to believe that Christians stay in it no matter how bad it gets. And sadly, this misconception of being a Christian has trickled down from the parents to the children.

Listen in to Kirk and Debbie’s story, and find out how God took two toxic relationships, and turned them into one☝️big story of redemption.



Purchase Kirk & Debbie Taylor’s book, Should You Stay or Should You Go?

Mindset, Boundaries, Success, & Toxic Relationships

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Mindset, Boundaries, Success, & Toxic Relationships

We all want that magic formula. What no one tells you is that there isn’t one. Success in any relationship: romantic, business, friendships, or ministry, is a lot of work. Add toxicity to the mix, and you’ve got something on your hands. Valley of Grace Ministries and Timothy Horton GR8 own the licensing and rights to the Valley of Grace song.

#loveandfreedom #business #toxicrelationships #pavelverbnyak #katinahorton #theloveandfreedomtoxicrelationshiprecoverycoach

How to Reach Pavel:

Pavel’s Bio:

Pavel Verbnyak is a certified professional speaker (GSF) on personal development, goal-setting, the law of attraction and leadership. He is a success expert, life coach, Vice President of JCI Russia, Brian Tracy Academy’s expert and partner, the founder of “Successful Thinking”, the author of several books, seminars on unlocking human potential and personal efficiency.

Pavel specializes in training and development of individuals and organizations, helping to set and achieve personal and professional goals faster and easier, to eliminate limiting beliefs and fears, increase sales etc.

Pavel Verbnyak is an award-winning speaker and an internationally recognized leader in personal development and peak performance strategies. For over 15 years, he has been teaching entrepreneurs, educators, corporate leaders, and people from all walks of life how to create the life they desire.

He speaks also to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and Professional Development, including the executives and staff of many of World’s largest corporations. His exciting talks and seminars on Leadership, Selling, Self-Esteem, Goals, Strategy, Creativity and Success Psychology bring about immediate changes and long-term results.

Since 2005 Pavel has been studying the lives of successful people and applied the knowledge and ideas he’s learned into his own life.

He is the graduate of Jack Canfield’s 2014 Train the Trainer live program (USA).

The Transformation:

Pavel will teach you how to get complete control of your time and your life, increase your income, simplify your work, maximize your special talents and abilities, and achieve financial independence.

The maximum amount of audience for Pavel’s speech is more than 1000 people.

He worked with top Russian & international brands: Sberbank, MTS, Russian Railways, Lukoil, Rostelekom, Renault, Volkswagen etc. Consulted famous Russian and CIS top managers. 

Most of Pavel’s core strategies for creating breakthroughs have come from modeling and distilling the strategies of leaders in some of the fastest growing companies in the world. He has used these distinctions to help optimize and grow enterprises to new and more profitable levels.

Pavel lives in Moscow, Russia, where he continually raises the bar on his own potential by increasing and expanding his comfort zone with continued personal and professional development.

Pavel Verbnyak is happily married and has son. He is active in community and national affairs.

He wants to empower you to have a larger vision for your life by connecting to and unleashing the greatness within you.

Pavel’s goal is to help people all over the world achieve their personal, professional, and financial goals faster and easier than ever imagined.

Personality Issues-It’s Just The Way I Am

Our personality is part of what makes us who we are.  

When someone mentions different things to us that involve our personality, we often say, “Well, that’s just the way I am.  My mother was like that.”  

And that is true in a sense. That is the way you are. And your mother may have been the one who had a huge impact on why your personality is the way it is. However, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t want to work on aspects of our personality that are impeding our growth, next-level assignments, and relationships with ourselves and others in general.

What did Paul say about our right to do things?

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.

1 Corinthians 6:12

There are both strengths and weaknesses to any personality.

We have four learned stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn.

Let’s take the first personality type of the Enneagram for example:

Type 1:  The Perfectionist 

With this personality type, the fight response looks like expecting perfectionism out of other people when you are under extreme stress or trauma.  And yes, the stress or traumatic event is what caused it.  

Subjectively, a person on the outside looking in may say, “Empathize”.

And yes, empathizing is what we are supposed to do.  Now, look at the situation objectively.

Can you imagine being expected to be perfect when you are in pain as well?

This is where and why partnering up and powering with the Holy Spirit is necessary.  Expecting perfection out of an imperfect human being, particularly during the time of crisis places the individual on the outside in a precarious situation.  Do they interact with the perfectionist, or do they distance themselves until the extreme stress and or traumatic event has passed?

What the perfectionist doesn’t understand at the time is that this fight response of theirs has taken the place of self-care and self-assessment of emotions, needs, etc.

This is not for the purposes of condemnation, but for empathy, knowledge, and understanding how the weaknesses of our personalities affect others so we can learn and grow.

For it is by grace(A) you have been saved,(B) through faith(C)—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works,(D) so that no one can boast.(E)

Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV

Until Next Time,


The Masquerade Party of Lying Prophets, False Intentions, Narcissism, & Disguises Part 2

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Masquerade Party of Lying Prophets, False Intentions, Narcissism, & Disguises Part 2

The Masquerade Party of Lying Prophets, False Intentions, Narcissism, & Disguises Part 2

Although we all wear masks at one time or another, some of us find ourselves living among the never-ending masquerade party of narcissism. Walking in the spirit, as well as being armored up, enables the weapons formed against us not to prosper.

Grab your fancy dresses 👗and colorful masks, as we open door number three of “The Masquerade Party: Lying Prophets, False Intentions, & Disguises Part 2”. Be blessed!!!

I own the rights, license, and permission of performing artist, Timothy Horton GR8, to use Valley of Grace as Valley of Grace Ministries’ theme song.


The Masquerade Party of Lying Prophets, False Intentions, & Disguises Part 1

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Masquerade Party of Lying Prophets, False Intentions, & Disguises Part 1

Masquerade parties are fun, full of mystery, and drama. The highlights of attending these parties are the costumes, multi-colored masks 🎭, and hors d’oeuvres. The low points of attending these parties 🎉 is enduring the possibility of a belligerent, uninvited guest. Join me as a guest at “ The Masquerade Party of Lying Prophets, False Intentions, & Disguises🥸Part 1”, and see if you can pick out the wolves 🐺 in sheep’s 🐑 clothing.

I own the rights, license, and permission of performing artist, Timothy Horton GR8, to use Valley of Grace as Valley of Grace Ministries’ theme song.

#story#loveandfreedom#toxicrelationships#prophets#bible#biblestudy #narcissism #love #masquerade