This category houses all the different issues that one may deal with when it comes to trauma, and also tackles how you can be empowered yourself.
We all have bad moments when it comes to our behavior. None of us are perfect. But what happens when moments turn into seasons, and seasons turn into cycles? Some people thrive off chaos, confusion, drama, gossip, judging, and criticizing. But did you know this is a sign of emotional immaturity? Listen in. #love #narcissist #freedom
When we don’t like who and how God created and designed us to be, it will be an all-time war until we have a come to Jesus moment, and then accept ourselves for who we are. We expect other people to be just like us. Contort to what we want. Be pumped out of a factory, so to speak. God created all of us differently, and when we honor and remember the needs and priorities of our unique design, we fair better.
We want to feel good all the time, but is this realistic? Therapist and Relationship Coach Cinthia Hiett states that the way we handle conflict and emotions is a reflection of our emotional maturity level. When meanness, anger, jealousy, envy, arrogance, hatred, and malice hits your heart, mind, soul, and spirit, so does disease and venom.
#love #narcissist #freedom
It’s almost like going through a corn maze. Just as soon as you thought you had found the path to the exit, you are right back on the path you were on 15 to 20 minutes ago, feeling trapped, in a state of stuckness, and trying to get out.
And thus, the record player becomes, “I thought that I was done with this particular situation. Why am I dealing with this again?”
This recording has both a loaded statement and question.
There is not a one size fits all answer. We could be listing the reasons all day long.
Sometimes we are dealing with certain areas over and over again because we are peeling the onion of that particular area one layer of a time. It’s tempting to want to plow through traumatic and emotional events. However, it’s not in our best interest.
Plowing through trauma equals elevated areas of pain. It’s the too much too fast syndrome so to speak.
We can order up 50 years of problems in three months please at the McDonald’s drive-through. Healing is work. And self-work takes time. Lots of time, energy, patience, and resilience.
But then we have other issues that are not dealing with plowing through trauma at all. These issues stem from lack of action on our part. Not knowing our identity, having a lack of unworthiness, possessing a lack of boundaries, appointing ourselves as the family, workplace, group, and or church scapegoat, projection, and our desire to control all contribute to unclean spirits re-entering areas in our mind, body, sold, and spirit that have already been cleaned out
And thus, when they re-enter, they bring seven other friends(demonic spirits) with them.
“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation.”
Matthew 12:43-45, ESV
We like to skip over this part because it forces us to look at the role we are playing in the narcissistic system, whether it be at your church, in your home, family, workplace and or business location.
Like dealing with fractions, as soon as we can locate what the common denominator is in each and every one of the situations, then, and only then, can we come up with a feasible solution. Otherwise, we continue to go round and round, strung out, and in circles to a slavery system that is going nowhere until you make the decision to break camp.
Did you like washing dishes as a kid?
If so, did you do a good job, or one that required other people to go behind you and redo the job?
I NEED THOSE DISHES WASHED!!!
When you have unclean dishes in the sink, you generally wash them. It may not be right away, but they eventually get done.
Then there are other times when you’re tired, and you don’t feel like washing dishes at all.
You might let the dishes sit for a day or two or maybe even three.
If you choose the last option, everything in the sink will eventually start smelling.
This is the same thing that happens in our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits.
When clutter and debris sits inside of those areas too long, we develop a stench, instead of the sweet aroma of Christ.
Toxic gases are emitted instead of purified hearts.
What would happen if you only clean the outside of every dish, and then place them inside of the dish rack?
You’d risk getting food poisoning, a possible infection, and or a food-borne virus.
You’d then go to the doctor and grab antibiotics, but then you’re not tackling the root of the problem, which is washing the inside of the dishes.
Therefore, nine times out of ten, you’re going back to the doctor for antibiotics again.
This is what happens when unclean spirits enter our realm. We refuse to enter the phase of troubleshooting to get to the source of the problem, and we enter a vicious cycle of reinfecting our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits once again.
Without identifying the source of the problem, then implementing a strategy and a plan for attacking this source, we become a perpetual host for everybody else’s drama, at the expense of solely dealing with our own.
And just like with germs, once you’re identified as a host, everybody uses your soul for their toxic unresolved trauma and undealt with brokenness.
Know your power. Know your worth. Know your value. Know your soul.
Until next time,
Katina
The Journey represents unresolved trauma, undealt with brokenness, wounds, disappointment, discontentment, disillusionment, despair, the LACK cycle of addictions, and the pit. Your journey represents the 3 part anointing of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit on your uniquely designed destiny with your name on it.
Joseph took The Journey to elevation.
David’s 3 part anointing was called “your journey” to elevation.
Both are necessary.
Both are difficult.
Both require testing.
Both require investing.
How badly you want your journey will determine how well you tackle The Journey.
One of the hardest things to do is to get to the point of letting go of people, places, things, and ideas no longer serving us.
Two of the main culprits is history and value. You’ve known this friend since high school. Your parents went to school together. You joined the same sorority in college.
But does that mean that this person is the one who has been called to be in your future?
Some of the questions that you can ask yourself when it comes to deciding what needs letting go are the following:
Where am I now?
What are my values?
Where are they now?
What are their values?
What is the mission and vision of my calling?
Does this person, place, thing, or idea align with my values, vision, and mission?
After answering these questions, the truth is what will really often surprise you.
We sabotage our calling when our daily habits, routines, and relationships are incongruent with our mission and vision.
Healing after narcissistic abuse requires letting go of the people, places, things, and ideas/concepts that reinforce a slavery mindset and limited worldview.
Remember, slavery mindset means that you are in Energizer bunny mode 24/7. God solved this mindset and way of living by instituting Sabbath.
The more we open our minds to curiosity about people, places, things, and ideas, the more we can begin to eliminate the limited worldview stemming from our family’s love story garden, and reinforced by other people, places, things, and ideas along the way, and adopt God’s worldview, solely based on his abundance, sovereignty, and ownership of the world.
Until next time,
Katina
There is nothing communal about the communal narcissist. It’s only a guise. Listen in to this bonus episode to learn about how the communal narcissist gets away with his/her mess. Be blessed! #love #empath #narcissist #narcissism #toxicrelationships #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
Our Mission, Vision, & Why Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.
We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.
Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.
Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Speaker Podcast Host Course Creator Dance Minister E-commerce Store Owner
1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program
1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program
Leave Egypt Today!
Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call
Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!
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Communal narcissists appear to be all about community. However, it’s a coverup for opportunity. Anybody and everybody will be used as pawns in their theater production. They are the directors of their own mind show. #toxicrelationships
The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
Our Mission, Vision, & Why Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.
We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.
Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.
Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Speaker Podcast Host Course Creator Dance Minister E-commerce Store Owner
1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program
1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program
Leave Egypt Today!
Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call
Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!
Purchase books that take you from biblical healing to wholeness, thriving, abundance and freedom!!! https://thevalleyofgrace.com or Amazon
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tiktok, Clubhouse, YouTube, Facebook: @katinahortonvgm Email me: katinahortonvgm@gmail.com DONATIONS: CASHAPP: $THORTON4792 VENMO: @KATINA-HORTON PAYPAL: THEVALLEYOFGRACE.COM
WANT TO PARTNER WITH VALLEY OF GRACE MINISTRIES IN MONTHLY SPONSORSHIPS?
YOU CAN SIGN UP ON URBAN SKYE’S WEBSITE AT: HTTPS://URBANSKYE.GIVINGFUEL.COM/KATINA-HORTON BECOME A SPOTIFY MEMBER AND RECEIVE SPECIAL MEMBER COUPONS TO THE VALLEY OF GRACE SHOP, MONTHLY COACHING, AS WELL AS BONUS EPISODES ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, BIBLICAL HEALING, AND WHOLENESS:
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When you choose to ignore the Sabbath, you choose to become friends with control.
Being in the driver seat of control means that God is not even riding shotgun. As a matter of fact, you have placed him somewhere in the trunk.
Why?
As humans we believe that our solutions are better than God’s. This disillusionment and tunnel vision focus leads to bondage. And in turn, this bondage leads to coming up with false concepts about God and his love for us.
Our addiction to being in the driver seat means that we value:
Toxicity over purification
Control over trust
Slavery our freedom
Harmful over beneficial
Why?
Because we focus on what we have a right to do. And Paul tackled this clearly:
1 Corinthians 6:12 NIV
“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.
It is finished.
I am finished.
Looking for the perfect hairstyle.
Looking for the perfect clothing.
Looking for the perfect meals.
Looking for the perfect children.
Looking to be the perfect wife.
Looking to have the perfect home.
Looking to my partner as my god.
Have you ever truly said these three words?
When you say it is finished, you sign off to the fact that the striving is over. You will not try to control the outcome of the relationship. You will not beg your narcissistic partner to change. You will not try to fix him, control him, manipulate him a little bit in order to have the best version of him, be the best version of you, and have your needs met.
You will not beg for attention, love, affection, etc. You will not try to Build a Bear when it comes to your narcissistic partner. You will release control. You will allow God to be sovereign. You will be yourself and allow your partner to be himself.
It is finished.
Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19:28-30