When you’re walking around in a heart-sicken state, feeling needy, and languishing, you will do anything, including agreeing to open relationships with the #narcissist . But how do you get out of the vicious cycle? Listen in. #healing
We talk so much about how toxicity looks. But, what does it mean to be in a healthy relationship? How has the church hurt us in defining healthy? How have we hurt ourselves? And, if you saw a healthy man, would you be ready to give an answer for what you need out of the relationship? Let’s talk about it. #love #freedom #relationship
Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
When you use a trump card for playing spades and other card games, you have all the power. Although the trump card is good for playing cards, it isn’t good for life. When you use trump cards in life, you adopt the theory of learned helplessness and victim mentality. And because of it, it leads to staying right where you are. #narcissist #love #coaching #trumpcard
The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
It seems easier said than done when it comes to dealing with people and relationships. However, when we know what to look for and how to react in those situations, our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits can be better prepared for attack, and remove ourselves accordingly. DARVO (denial, attack, reverse victim and offender) is no joke. It’s gaslighting on steroids.
If you are not prepared, it will leave you in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. When we choose to use DARVO instead of pressing into the pain, DARVO becomes our default operating system for every point of communication that we have with other people. DARVO means you’re saying “I value darkness over light.” Listen in. #love #narcissist #freedom The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
More babies. More babies. More loving. Not so. Anything that’s one-sided is not balanced. This includes relationships. Listen in to see where you fit.
The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
Our Mission, Vision, & Why Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.
We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.
Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.
Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Speaker Podcast Host Course Creator Dance Minister E-commerce Store Owner
1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program
1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program
Leave Egypt Today!
Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call
Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!
Purchase books that take you from biblical healing to wholeness, thriving, abundance and freedom!!! https://thevalleyofgrace.com or Amazon
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tiktok, Clubhouse, YouTube, Facebook: @katinahortonvgm Email me: katinahortonvgm@gmail.com
DONATIONS:
CASHAPP: $THORTON4792 VENMO:
@KATINA-HORTON PAYPAL: THEVALLEYOFGRACE.COM
WANT TO PARTNER WITH VALLEY OF GRACE MINISTRIES IN DOING WORK FOR THE KINGDOM?
SIGN UP FOR MONTHLY SPONSORSHIPS THROUGH URBAN SKYE:
HTTPS://URBANSKYE.GIVINGFUEL.COM/KATINA-HORTON
BECOME A SPOTIFY MEMBER AND RECEIVE SPECIAL MEMBER COUPONS TO THE VALLEY OF GRACE SHOP, MONTHLY COACHING, AS WELL AS BONUS EPISODES ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, BIBLICAL HEALING, AND WHOLENESS:
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/katina-horton/subscribe
Never feel like forcing yourself to stay in something that God has obviously released you from is the best option. As a matter of fact, your growth will do the work for you. When people start seeing you growing after narcissistic abuse, they will make comments about you changing and being different, as if it’s a bad thing. It isn’t. They had gotten too comfortable with the “broken pieces” version of you. Either they will eventually hop on board or leave your life just as quickly as they entered it.
Until next time,
Katina
When you are in the “Problems and Unhealthy Patterns of Behavior” Phase, there are so many different things going on. First of all, the honeymoon is over. Secondly, it doesn’t matter whether you are in a healthy or toxic relationship cycle, you are going to have problems.
The main difference is in how you choose to deal with these problems.
One thing that is common in both cycles is that once both individuals go from symbiosis to differentiation, and the individual problems manifest themselves, initially neither person knows what to say or do in order to confront the problems.
This is evident because one person usually walks around being angry/hostile all the time, and then the other person walks around doing passive-aggressive things all the time, instead of bringing the problem(s) up.
Some examples of passive/aggressive behavior would be eye-rolling, letting the other person’s food burn up, noticing that the other person somehow missed their alarm going off, and not saying anything, and doing anything else that gets on the other person’s last nerve.
None of these things will solve the problem.
For some reason, as humans, we think that ignoring our problems are like bad dreams that will eventually go away.
When we go to this place for dealing with problems, we are definitely on our own Fantasy Island. “Cause guess what?” It ain’t happenin’. Those problems are still there.
As a matter of fact, the lump underneath the rug is getting bigger and bigger.
So the question remains, what in the world are you going to do about it?
In the next post, we will talk about what usually happens for both the healthy and toxic relationship cycle.
Until next time,
Katina
Whether you are in a healthy or unhealthy relationship, the third phase of the relationship cycle is “The Problems and Unhealthy Patterns of Behavior Begin”.
One might think, “Why would there be problems?”
Well, for starters, you have two imperfect individuals. And no matter how you do the math, two imperfect individuals equals one imperfect relationship.
In order for a pattern of behavior to occur, you have to be in a relationship with someone. It doesn’t matter who that person is. It is in this interpersonal exchange, so to speak, that your issues will manifest themselves.
Nine times out of ten, your unhealthy patterns of behavior were developed in childhood, and as the old saying goes, “there is more that is caught than taught”. We model what we have seen. And what we have seen comes from the five people we are around the most.
And in the case of children, that means the five people are more than likely the individuals in their household and/or their grandparents that have helped to form a certain perspective in their head as far as how relationships should run.
The problem that can erupt from this is that if those patterns of behavior were never checked by your immediate family, friends, coworkers, and ministry partners, you have carried them around in a backpack for years, and now, as you are entering phase three of the relationship cycle in your marriage, you are unloading them onto the other person.
In the next post, we will talk about how these problems manifest themselves in “The Unhealthy Relationship Cycle”.
Prophetic Word!!! Does it mean it’s too late to dream again if you reclaim your power and identity? What does coaching have to do with reclaiming your power and identity? What is the relationship between fear and unhealthy relationships? Do you need confidence in order to be empowered? What is the correlation between humility, meekness, and fear? How is having community an art? Find out the answers to these questions and more as you listen to the interview between Coach Isabelle Stephenson and me on The Valley of Grace Podcast. Did you miss the last two interviews with Dr. Alice Koech? Catch them here. Be blessed!
Isabelle has put together a special gift for my listeners at the following link:
Freebie from Isabelle: Link
I am glad that you asked. Isabelle can be reached in the following locations:
Call or write for a free life coaching consultation #732-331-2246
Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com
Follow her on instagram: @lifecoachingwithisabelle
Until next time,
Katina
Do you want to get to the good stuff? I know I do. We want a magic pill for everything. Forget about the healing and the pain. Later for that. It sounds like the perfect plan. However, if your plan is to go from where you are now, to where you want to be, skipping over the pain will only take you back to where you are now. It may seem counterintuitive. However, the only way to the other side is through. As Jennifer put it in this episode: “Healing is a choice.” Creating an empowered new chapter of life requires healing from past hurts. And when you are healed, you gain resilience and perspective that you couldn’t have gained otherwise. Listen to the last part of this series between Jennifer and I as we dissect healing, our need for instant gratification, not enoughness and so much more.
Until next time,
Katina
