Episode 119: An lnterview with Bestselling Author & Speaker Cherlyn Decker Part 2

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 119: An lnterview with Bestselling Author & Speaker Cherlyn Decker Part 2
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Sometimes the hardest part about creating an empowered new chapter of life is trusting God with each and every step. And part of trusting God involves learning to hear God’s voice, and then discerning the direction that he has for your life. Community is so important as you embark on your journey of reclaiming your power and identity. However, we also need discernment in knowing what advice we should and should not take. What does trust look like for you? Listen to Part 2 of my conversation with Cherlyn Decker to find out her stance on these issues.

Podcast Topics Outline Episode 119: An lnterview with Bestselling Author & Speaker Cherlyn Decker Part 2

  • Trusting God
  • Know the End
  • Community
  • What to Say
  • What to Do
  • Is God Enough
  • What Does Trust Look Like?
  • What Does Discernment Look Like?

Follow Cherlyn:

Special Treat here for my listeners from Cherlyn: https://www.cherlyndecker.com/valleyofgrace

Book: www.roarbackbook.com

Website: https://www.cherlyndecker.com/

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 117: Healing is a Choice: An Interview with Jennifer Ramirez-Part 3

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 117: Healing is a Choice: An Interview with Jennifer Ramirez-Part 3
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Do you want to get to the good stuff?  I know I do.  We want a magic pill for everything. Forget about the healing and the pain.  Later for that.  It sounds like the perfect plan. However, if your plan is to go from where you are now, to where you want to be, skipping over the pain will only take you back to where you are now. It may seem counterintuitive. However, the only way to the other side is through.  As Jennifer put it in this episode: “Healing is a choice.”  Creating an empowered new chapter of life requires healing from past hurts.  And when you are healed, you gain resilience and perspective that you couldn’t have gained otherwise.  Listen to the last part of this series between Jennifer and I as we dissect healing, our need for instant gratification, not enoughness and so much more.

Podcast Outline

  • Healing
  • Choices
  • Resilience
  • Flourishing
  • Instant Gratification
  • Not Enoughness
  • Fun Things about Jennifer

Until next time,

Katina

Codependency Is Real-Part Three

No matter what situation it is, the hardest part about taking on any task when it comes to self-growth and self development is dealing with you. It feels better to hold up the mirror to everybody else? It makes us feel like we are better somehow.

But guess what? Paying attention to what everybody else is doing is a blinder for minding your own business and digging deeper into our own pile of junk.

When you are playing the role of a codependent, you don’t have time to check in with yourself to see what’s really going on. Your focus is on saving the other person. As mentioned in the last post, codependents stay in the state they are in number one, because of fear, and then number two: insecurities.

“The common areas of insecurities and or brokenness are low self-esteem, low self-worth, poor body image, and not enoughness. Codependents cover up these areas by becoming the Savior of the day in their spouse’s, coworker’s, friend’s, or ministry partner’s life. So, even when you have the come to Jesus moment and stop doing things for the other person, if you don’t take the time to do the self-work, you will be right back to wearing your cape as Savior of the day, and playing Jesus.

Frustration is the catalyst for change. However, that is only if the desire and hard work required to be a better version of you outweighs the pain of staying in the comfort zone of where you are now. “

Katina Horton

Creating an empowered new chapter of life involves healing from past hurts. And in turn, healing from past hurts helps us to gain resilience and perspective. In our next post, I will discuss the dangers of enmeshment.

Episode 115: Interview with Founder & Executive Director of &Rise Jennifer Ramirez-Part 1

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 115: Interview with Founder & Executive Director of &Rise Jennifer Ramirez-Part 1
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Have you ever said the following: “Why am I finding myself in the same situation? I need a new man, a new job, and a new house.”? If that sounds like you, then listen to this episode between Jennifer and I as we unpack some of the things that are holding us back. And the answer is not what you think.

Interview with Jennifer Ramirez Podcast Topics:

Stay tuned for Part 2. Interview with Founder & Executive Director of &Rise Jennifer Ramirez

In the meantime, check out Jennifer Ramirez’s website so that you are familiar with all of the services that she has to offer.

Until next time,

Katina Horton

Episode 114: Juneteenth Celebration

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 114: Juneteenth Celebration
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For the first time in our nation’s history, Juneteenth has been adopted as a national holiday. We still have a long way to go. However, as we already know, creating an empowered new chapter of life means taking any kind of step forward, no matter how small they may be.

In order for us to move forward in our relationships, and in our country in general, certain things have to be there to set the stage. Can you imagine a film director having the video personnel to start recording a movie without the props in place? It would be a hot mess. In order to move forward in our relationships, we have to build them upon a foundation of truth. Today’s recording is meant to inspire, motivate, and challenge you to figure out where you will stand when the film director says, “Action!”

Happy Juneteenth!

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 113: What’s Behind that Door And More…

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 113: What's Behind that Door And More...
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Do you like surprises? Some people don’t.

I like good surprises. Although to be honest, when good surprises come, sometimes they can be so shocking that it leads you to being an emotional wreck. In this case, good surprises can feel like bad surprises as I experienced a few years ago.

When you listen in to this week’s podcast episode, you will see how surprises come up in the beginning of a relationship. You also get to decide how you will respond when these relationship surprises come up. Or will you respond at all? Part of creating an empowered new chapter of life is using our power of choice. Be blessed!

Until next time,

Katina

Codependency is Real

When you think of the word codependency, it immediately makes you want to think of a person who is in a relationship with an alcoholic. That is what I thought it meant. However, this is a narrow view of the word codependency, and it took a while for me to learn that.

Codependency in basic terms, is an enabler. Codependents enable/assist their spouses, partners, life-giving friends, family members, kids, coworkers, etc. to be irresponsible in whatever area that they are struggling in. This enabling could be in the form of giving money for addictions, arguing back and forth with the person so that they make “their issue” your issue, or ignoring the behavior towards us instead of creating boundaries for how we will live and or function going forward.

Once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, problems will occur. And to be honest, the problems started occurring before this phase was over. You were just so in love, that you ignored them. If you are not strong in your identity, and your partner isn’t being responsible in a certain area, you can slowly fall into the role of taking up the slack.

And just like doing everything your partner wants to do gets played out, so does codependency. How does one get out of this cycle? We will dig in a little deeper in the next post. Be blessed.

Until next time,

Katina

The Relationship Cycle-Entering the Door-Part 3

As I stated in my previous post, there are certain things that are normal when you are first starting off in any relationship. Wanting to do everything that another person wants to do is normal when you are in love; and/or if it’s not a romantic relationship. You want to appear likeable and agreeable. Right?

What happens when the honeymoon phase of these relationships are over? What happens when both parties start to exert their likes/dislikes? And even more importantly, what happens when we ignore our own needs, and are so caught up in the needs of the other person? Yes, these are a lot of questions to ponder.

The truth of the matter is, if we do not work at keeping our own individual identity in tact, then we become involved with what psychologists call enmeshment, and/or codependency. The thing about it is that these two situations do not happen over night. It is kind of like the frog in boiling water. Our own childhood wounds and insecurities, along with that of the other person, play a huge part in whether or not these new identities develop.

We will dive deeper into these two areas in the next post. Would love to hear your feedback on how you shifted from the honeymoon phase of your different relationships in order to take the relationship to the next level.

Be blessed!

Until next time,

Katina

The Relationship Cycle-Entering the Door-Part 2

As we talked about in my last post, it is normal to be apprehensive whenever you start any kind of relationship. You don’t know what’s going to happen when you open that door.

The other thing that is normal is for both parties to be overly concerned with putting on an impression for the other person. We want to be liked. And we want to appear to be agreeable. If one person says, “Let’s go to the movies. What do you want to see? Then, the other person may say, “Whatever you want to see.” Sometimes that is the case. We don’t care about what it is. We just care about having companionship, doing the social thing, having the work-partnership.

Most times, we are people pleasing, seeking to make that big impression, consumed with the other person liking us. No matter what kind of relationship it is, this plays out real fast. You get sick and tired of going along with everything someone else wants to do. The funny thing about this is that we are the ones who initiated it in the first place.

Now, we seek to come out of it. We want to make our voices known and heard. Be who we really are. Creating an empowered new chapter of life involves having emotional, mental, and physical boundaries.

And this is normal and healthy. But what happens next? Find out in my next post.