When you think of the word codependency, it immediately makes you want to think of a person who is in a relationship with an alcoholic. That is what I thought it meant. However, this is a narrow view of the word codependency, and it took a while for me to learn that.
Codependency in basic terms, is an enabler. Codependents enable/assist their spouses, partners, life-giving friends, family members, kids, coworkers, etc. to be irresponsible in whatever area that they are struggling in. This enabling could be in the form of giving money for addictions, arguing back and forth with the person so that they make “their issue” your issue, or ignoring the behavior towards us instead of creating boundaries for how we will live and or function going forward.
Once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, problems will occur. And to be honest, the problems started occurring before this phase was over. You were just so in love, that you ignored them. If you are not strong in your identity, and your partner isn’t being responsible in a certain area, you can slowly fall into the role of taking up the slack.
And just like doing everything your partner wants to do gets played out, so does codependency. How does one get out of this cycle? We will dig in a little deeper in the next post. Be blessed.
Until next time,