It’s so easy to point the finger at everybody else. But what about you? What is the toxic dance cycle that you play both with yourself and others? #breakingcycles #trauma #healing #love #freedom
When you’re vulnerable, you’re also open to the wiles of the devil. These wiles include being love-bombed and reeled back in in by your ex-narcissistic partner. Listen to some of these phrases so you’ll know how to protect yourself. #healing #podcast #narcissism
When you hear the term gaslighting, you associate it with the words that people say that throw you into a spiral because of their delusional reality. Gaslighting is actually involving more than that. People gaslight with hopes that it will ruin self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, and self perception and reality overtime #Gaslighting #Love #Freedom #Narcissist #CovertNarcissist #ChristianNarcissist #Relationship
We’ve often heard the phrase:
“No” is a complete sentence.
However, how many of us actually believe it in our hearts, minds, bodies, souls, and spirits?
Once every area of your being is aligned, saying “no” becomes easier than ever. The hardest time will be the first, and each subsequent time gets easier.
When you are in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, your ability to say no is hampered by the narcissistic abuse cycle. You began with the symbiosis period like any other romantic relationship. However, self-differentiation doesn’t occur because of the trauma bonding and soul ties that occur during the love bombing phase of the relationship.
It is not until you reclaim your power, soul, and identity so that you will know that you are enough that you understand the power of no. It is then that you understand the reason why your therapist and every other mental health professional has said: “No is a complete sentence.”
Once you began the healing process, become grounded in your identity, and understand your self-worth, establishing boundaries becomes a byproduct of your work.
And even with all of the self work that you have done, it still becomes difficult to say “No”.
Let’s look at a few reasons:
The first reason why it is hard for you to say no is that you want to control the outcome. Control is an illusion that all of us human beings have to master. We have an outcome in mind whenever a trial and or a difficult situation presents itself.
And thus, in an effort to make sure that the outcome we want is the outcome we get, we start moving things around like we’re playing chess, and a sense of disillusionment about the fact that other people have a right to make their own choices.
And a lot of times, those choices may or may not make us happy.
The second reason that it is hard for you to say no is that you don’t want to risk losing the relationship. The relationships that you have with your friend, family member, coworker, and ministry and business partners are currently working because there is a certain dynamic/pattern/toxic dance that exists between you and the other parties.
And if that pattern of behavior is dysfunctional, more often than not, you telling them “no” poses a change in your relationship status. People enjoy the broken parts of us.
The third reason that it is hard for you to say no is that you are a people pleaser. You don’t want anyone to be upset with your decision. People pleasers go all out “ in the name of love” but they’re really participating in the act of self-abandonment, holding back their true needs and wants in order to keep other people happy.
But no matter what way you look at it, at the end of the day, people are going to do what they are going to do, and we cannot control them. We can only control ourselves and honor what our bodies, souls, and spirits are telling us.
Remember: you are already enough. Reclaim your power, soul, and identity today. Grab your keys to the kingdom and get your inheritance.
Be blessed!
Katina
The Jezebel Spirit is not about the 2-inch splits, makeup, or garments you wear as we were told by older church folk back in the day. It is a gaslighting spirit of control, using anything and anyone, including spiritual practices and rituals itself to further its agenda. Listen in to this podcast episode as I discuss its plan, purpose, and behaviors.
Be blessed!!!
It’s confusing. It’s mind blowing. It’s validating and normal. And yet you can’t figure him or her out. Is it you or is it them? Listen in as we dissect the truth about covert narcissists. Be blessed! #love #relationship #narcissist
Flying monkeys find themselves in a pickle at all times. Whether narcissistic or not, they alternate between trying to balance loyalty to the narcissist and betraying themselves. But how does being an instigator relate to the flying monkey role? Listen in. #love #relationship #loyalty #flyingmonkeys
Today I am featuring another guest blog post from blogger Dorothy Watson: Small Shifts, Big Change: What You Should Start Doing Right Now to Improve Your Life Be blessed!!!
It’s easy to get caught up in the long game when you think about improving your life. You imagine a perfect version of yourself and place it somewhere far down the road, convincing yourself it’ll take years to get there. But that mindset keeps you stuck. The real truth? A better version of your life starts with small, practical decisions you can make today. You don’t need to climb a mountain tomorrow—you just need to take one intentional step right now.
Pay Attention to Your Mindset, Because It Sets the Tone
How you speak to yourself becomes the way you live. If your internal voice is filled with self-doubt, harsh judgment, or quiet negativity, it casts a shadow on everything else. Choosing to reframe your thoughts isn’t about pretending life is perfect—it’s about giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, being curious instead of critical, and looking for growth in the mess. If you want to change your personal life for the better, begin by catching the moments where your mindset is holding you back. Pause, reword it in your head, and treat yourself like someone you actually like.
Don’t Disappear Into Your Own Silence
When life feels heavy or overwhelming, it’s tempting to retreat and shut everyone out, but isolation rarely brings the relief you’re hoping for. Try inviting a few friends over for a laid-back get-together to reconnect and rekindle those relationships that may have drifted. If you’re looking to make it a little more special, an online invitation maker allows users to design and order custom printed invitations for various events using free templates, fonts, and images—consider this option to add a thoughtful touch.
Move Your Body, Even If It’s Just Around the Block
You don’t need a gym membership or a fitness influencer routine. All you need is to commit to movement every single day, in some form. Movement wakes up your body, resets your brain, and gives you the energy you didn’t even know you were missing. Whether it’s walking your dog, stretching after you wake up, or dancing while you clean the kitchen, the simple act of moving gives you momentum—and momentum makes change possible.
Start Eating Like You Care About How You Feel
Most people think “eating better” means salads and rules, but it’s more about intention than restriction. Ask yourself what foods actually make you feel good—not just while you’re eating them, but after. Eating with care doesn’t mean cutting everything out; it means adding things in that support your energy, focus, and mood. You’re not just feeding your body—you’re fueling your entire day, and that deserves more thought than autopilot.
Celebrate Tiny Wins Like They Actually Matter
Waiting for the big payoff will wear you down. If you only measure success by huge milestones, you’ll spend most of your life feeling like you’re failing. Instead, start honoring the micro-wins: getting out of bed when it was hard, saying no to something draining, drinking water when you wanted soda. The brain doesn’t care how small the celebration is—acknowledgment creates motivation. Clapping for yourself in the little moments gives you the resilience to keep going.
Reclaim Your Time from the Wrong Job
If your job drains you, belittles your value, or demands your identity, it’s not just a paycheck—it’s a leak in your life. You don’t have to quit tomorrow, but you do need to ask whether what you do every day is building you up or breaking you down. Start exploring what lights you up, even if it’s just an hour a week. Life’s too short to spend the majority of your waking hours in a place that doesn’t respect your humanity.
Build a Ritual That Grounds You
Your personal life isn’t built from dramatic decisions—it’s created in the quiet in-between moments. Having one small ritual in your routine—morning coffee alone, journaling at night, pulling a card or quote to start the day—can anchor you when things feel chaotic. Rituals don’t have to be spiritual, long, or even particularly meaningful to others. The point is to create something consistent that reminds you of who you are and what matters to you.
Take Self-Care Off Instagram and Make It Personal
Self-care doesn’t have to be a bubble bath or a face mask. Sometimes it’s canceling a plan, unfollowing someone, going to bed early, or setting a boundary. It’s about doing what you actually need, not what looks cute online. You have to pay attention to what drains you, what fills you up, and what you’ve been avoiding. Self-care starts with asking, “What do I need right now?”—and then actually giving yourself permission to answer honestly.
You don’t need to reinvent yourself, uproot everything, or become a new person overnight. What you need is to reconnect—to your needs, your body, your mind, and your purpose. The tools are already in your hands. Today, you can choose to show up with intention, to shift one habit, to ask one better question. Do that daily, and the life you’ve been chasing starts to take shape—right where you are.
Discover the transformative journey to reclaim your power, soul, and identity with Valley of Grace and embrace the abundant life you deserve.
What if no one ever told you that you were in emotional, psychological, and spiritual danger? That was the case with therapist Angie Harvey. People saw and thought things, but they never confronted her about them. When we are not challenged, we do not grow. #growing #healing #psychology #emotional #therapy #truth #confrontation #codependency
Flying monkeys are individuals who are tested time and time again for their loyalty to the narcissist. They are usually good candidates because of their inability to maintain decent boundaries, and usually possessing low self-esteem, low self-worth, and low self-confidence. Listen in to see if you’ve ever had to deal with flying monkeys, and or have unknowingly been a flying monkey yourself. #flyingmonkeys #boundaries #loyalty #narcissism #toxicity #healing #trauma #abuse