Episode 90: What is your identity in?

Episode 90, identity, podcaster, podcasting, podcast community, focus, existential crisis, healing, healing our brokenness, katina horton, psychology, spiritual health, PTSD, trauma
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 90: What is your identity in?
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Have you ever considered the answer to the question, “What is your identity in?” I have heard it many of times over the years; these times were in church, small groups, sermons, and podcasts on the radio. If we were all thinking about the answer to this question, it would probably entail more than one thing. Listen up as we talk about this very concept on today’s podcast. If you missed “An Interview with Erin Thompson Part 1 or Part 2, you still have time to catch up. Have a blessed rest of your Wednesday.

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Podcast Outline

  • Professional Titles
  • Relationship Titles
  • Attachment to Things and People
  • How Identity is Affected by Trauma
  • What We Naturally Do As Human Beings

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God. God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:21

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Episode 81: Begin to Declutter your Heart

episode 81, podcasting, podcaster, begin to declutter your heart, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, deception, lying, stealing, adulterous, katina horton
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 81: Begin to Declutter your Heart
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Yesterday, we dove into the issues that cause our minds to be cluttered. Today, we will discuss the issues that causes our hearts to be cluttered. Cluttered hearts lead to cluttered souls. Have you cleaned out your heart today? If you missed yesterday’s podcast episode on decluttering, click here.

episode 81, podcasting, podcaster, begin to declutter your heart, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, deception, lying, stealing, adulterous, katina horton

Podcast Outline

  • Sin
  • Issues of the Heart
  • The Fruit of the Spirit
  • Love

Scripture Verses to Meditate On:

Luke 6:45

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth that which is evil: for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Part 2

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 

11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Have a blessed rest of your Tuesday!

Katina

***This page contains affiliate links, meaning that I would receive something back for you purchasing something through this link. Click here for your 2021 Prayer Calendar

When Trauma Triggers other Trauma(Abandonment)—Part 2

isolation, social distancing, workplace, outside, pandemic, psychology, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, connection, Zoom, virus, COVID

Introduction

Two months ago, I wrote the following post: When Trauma Triggers other Trauma(Racism)—Part 1. Today, we will talk about when trauma triggers other trauma in the area of abandonment. At the beginning of lockdown, everything was new and different. There was a vast sense of paranoia in regard to catching the virus. The questions that came to mind for most people were: Will I catch the virus at work? At the store? In my home from opening up the groceries? Taking a walk outside? The list became endless. There was a sense of emotions and dissociating stirring up inside me whenever I put on masks to go inside at work and at the grocery stores, as well as watching others with their masks on. Because the pandemic was trauma-inducing itself, initially I didn’t investigate the issue.

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I also began to notice that the social distancing order caused me to dissociate and stir up certain emotions. But once again, just making it through the trauma of the pandemic was enough. Things were fresh and new, and I was going about my business as usual-until-yes, that is the magic word: until. Until people started asking each other how they were faring during the pandemic, whether alone or with others on social media. They were wondering how it felt to have to navigate the pandemic alone.

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Dissection

That’s when the giant drop occurred. For more on the giant drop, refer to this post. I had no other choice but to deal with the emotions as well as the dissociation. I was able to figure out that the social distancing and masks brought up old wounds of abandonment, and along with the abandonment, it’s friend named loneliness came along. I had to remind myself of the following: 1) that the trauma of the pandemic with the masks and social distancing aspects, along with the space involved, were triggering these feelings. 2) No one was leaving me. 3) I had to invoke a higher level of self-care. 4) I had to connect with others even more than usual, and even if that connection meant phone calls and Zoom, it would have to do. 5) I had to do deep breathing, and practice eye-focusing exercises to help ground me in the present time.

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Revelation

Initially, I realized that my self-care involved more music, reading, and outside time than watching television. I have found that sitting from watching television can actually be more anxiety and depression-inducing when you are going through hard times emotionally and mentally. It also helped when my son came and stayed for a few months right after my revelation of dissociation. However, before and after he left, I had already started implementing the four steps listed above. Thus, it made my journey even easier to navigate. The loneliness didn’t totally dissipate, but it became manageable with adding an extra layer of connection that wasn’t previously needed.

We all have different ways of dealing with trauma. What is helpful to one person may or may not be helpful to another. I am not a therapist. If your symptoms are causing you a heightened level of distress, seeing a therapist, or any other mental health professional is recommended.


Thanks and God bless!

Katina

Episode 72: An Interview with Valetta Brinson on Teaching, Fear, Loss, Singing, Relationships, Mentoring, & Brokenness

singing, emotional health, psychology, mental health, spiritual health, physical health, self-worth, self-esteem, therapy, music, brokennness, episode 72
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 72: An Interview with Valetta Brinson on Teaching, Fear, Loss, Singing, Relationships, Mentoring, & Brokenness
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We all benefit from the wisdom of a mentor/important person in our lives. Has this ever been an opportunity of yours, and if so, what made that person important? Studies have shown that for every negative influence, we need five more positive influences to counteract those effects. The bible also teaches us the importance of having older women and men take the younger generation under their wings. I have done this myself, as well as having been mentored within the last eight years, and it has truly blessed me. I have learned that the older people get, the more authentic they become when they allow God to take the lead.

singing, emotional health, psychology, mental health, spiritual health, physical health, self-worth, self-esteem, therapy, music, brokennness, episode 72

Yesterday, I was graced with the opportunity to interview Valetta Brinson, An Associate Professor at Southwest Tennessee Community College, A Performing Artist, and Business Owner of Brinson Music Group. Click to listen in on her mentor/mentee experience and much more!

Valetta Brinson Podcast Outline

  • Childhood
  • Relationships
  • Music
  • Singing
  • Blackness
  • The Pandemic
  • Her Career
  • Her Advice
  • Definition of Brokenness
  • Her Brokenness
  • Advice on Dealing with Brokenness
  • Unhealed Brokenness
  • Home

Relational Bible Passages to Focus on :

Joel 2: 25-32

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming [a]locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.
26 You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
And praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you;
And My people shall never be put to shame.
27 Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:
am the Lord your God
And there is no other.
My people shall never be put to shame.

God’s Spirit Poured Out


29 And also on My menservants and on My maidservants
I will pour out My Spirit in those days.

30 “And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth:
Blood and fire and pillars of smoke.
31 The sun shall be turned into darkness,
And the moon into blood,
Before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord.
32 And it shall come to pass
That whoever calls on the name of the Lord
Shall be [b]saved.
For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be [c]deliverance,
As the Lord has said,
Among the remnant whom the Lord calls.

Titus 2: 3-8

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Have a blessed week!

Katina

Wanting It Our Way

katina horton, our way, surprise, God's way, disillusionment, disappointment, expectations, sunset, sky, simple functional grace-filled living

The following post is one that I shared a little over a year ago on another website.  I would still love to hear your stories of wanting things “your way” instead of God’s. 🙂

Have you ever wanted it your way?  I know you are probably wondering, what does that mean?  Wanting it our way is when we have a process of start to finish of how something should go.  However, when it doesn’t fall in line with our expectations, we become disillusioned into thinking that it didn’t happen, or couldn’t happen because we didn’t check off all the steps that we had for the process.

Photo by Verne Ho

katina horton, our way, surprise, God's way, disillusionment, disappointment, expectations, sunset, sky, simple functional grace-filled living

This past week, there wasn’t anything that went as planned.  My after work naps either didn’t happen, or were later than planned.  My during the week walks/and or visits to the beach didn’t go as planned.  And then phone calls that I needed to make to take care of business didn’t go as planned because I wasn’t able to reach people. 

However, God showed me that I wanted it my way.  He had a different set of plans for the week:  I got a chance to spend some time with my young adult son watching Little House on the Prairie.  This was totally unplanned.  Just so happened that he pulled in the driveway right after me.  I turned the TV on to a recording, expecting to fall asleep, but I didn’t. We watched an episode entitled, “The Three Bullies”.  Charles had to protect his wife from some obstinate town bullies.  The children showed the adults a lesson in how coming together in numbers gives strength rather than fighting alone.

My second God moment was riding home from the library midweek after bible study and catching a glimpse of God’s glorious sunset.  There were hues of medium pink streaking across the sky.  The air felt perfect.  And all was calm.  And guess what?  My way wasn’t the best way after all.

What simple, functional, grace-filled things replaced your “wanting it your way” this past week?  Would love to hear your stories!

God bless!

Katina

Episode 62: It’s Not That Bad!

katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, emotional health, psychology, mental health, physical health, spiritual health, not fair, comparison, judgment, shame, empathy, scorn, confusion, feelings, emotions, processing emotions
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 62: It's Not That Bad!
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Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, sharing your pain, pouring out your heart and soul, only told to be told, “It’s not that bad!” Tune in to today’s podcast episode to find out if it is “that bad”.

Podcast Outline

katina horton, blogger, lifestyle, emotional health, psychology, mental health, physical health, spiritual health, not fair, comparison, judgment, shame, empathy, scorn, confusion, feelings, emotions, processing emotions
Photo by Shopify Partners
  • What is Comparative Suffering?
  • What is empathy?
  • Why Comparing Pain is Bad?
  • How can we do better when talking about our pain?

Background Scripture: John 21

Question for the week: What will you do the next time that you are tempted to rank your pain with someone else’s?

Challenge

Season of Uncertainty

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We are definitely living in uncertain times. During these times, it is important to keep ourselves anchored in God and his promises. It is also crucial to establish a creative outlet for ourselves, and our kids if they are still at home. Practicing self-care will help our souls and our ability to be resilient when everything around us is on shaky ground. This poem”Season of Uncertainty”, deals with our life as it is right now worldwide. I am currently reminded of God’s goodness as I type this because there are several birds singing their tunes right outside my kitchen window. To God be the glory! Blessings my friends!

uncertainty, COVID-19, virus, poetry, poetry community, poem, katina horton, season, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, psychology, trust, seek
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Season of Uncertainty

The sun and birds.

The walks and talks.

Slowdown and family time.

There’s a growing whine.

When at home we dine.

In the midst of uncertainty.

It’s the unexpected.

When you feel neglected.

And a need to be hugged and seen.

When our faith is tested,

and the fear has rested,

in our hearts and in our souls.

It’s a time to trust.

Trust that God is good.

When the picture’s not whole, looks bleak.

When we search for others,

There’s no need to look further,

When his kingdom we will seek.

Last poem: Triggered

Episode 60: Listen to Your Body

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Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 60: Listen to Your Body
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We listen to our friends, our enemies, “our hearts”, the radio, our children, etc. How many of us listen to our bodies? Did you know that listening to your body can give you clarity into listening to the needs, longings, and desires of your soul? Take a listen to this week’s podcast to gain a bigger perspective. Just in case you missed my last podcast, you can grab that one here: Episode 59: The Gift of Margin. God bless!

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Podcast Notes

HALT

  • Hungry
  • Angry
  • Lonely
  • Tired

Bible Passage Focus for Meditation:

1 Kings 19

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”

Elijah was afraid[a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.

1 Kings 19

Completion

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The Completion

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Photo by Brodie Vissers

He died.

Upon that tree.

He moaned. And groaned. Then bent the knee.

He said his last words.

Through the earth and through the nation, the completion was heard.

“It is finished.”

Yes, he said it.

It was for you and for me.

The conniving and all the striving…

The shedding of blood…

Broke it free.

After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, “I thirst!” 29 Now a vessel full of sour wine was sitting there; and they filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on hyssop, and put it to His mouth. 30 So when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And bowing His head, He gave up His spirit.

John 19: 28-30

His Will

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Sometimes life is just hard. We often find it difficult to understand why God allows certain things to happen. Sometimes he gives us the answer. Other times, he decides that it isn’t going to be revealed on this side of Heaven. We can always rest assured that God is always Good. He always Loves Us. He never changes. He will never forsake us. We can take all of these truths to the bank when everything else fails, and we don’t understand “His Will”.

his will, puzzle, acceptance, God's will, emotional health, spiritual health, psychology, mental health, decisions, life, healing, brokenness, trauma, good God
photo by Nicole De Khors

His Will

It is his will.

We know it is.

Though anger swells.

And darkness stills.

It is his will.

When we can’t make sense.

Of the brokenness and loss that engulfs us like a fence.

It is his will.

That is pushing us to grow.

In devotion to him,

And the blessings he’ll bestow.

It is his will.

That we dream, and dream again.

He’s the Alpha and Omega.

The Beginning and The End.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:2

Other poetry: Our Stories