Everywhere you turn, there is pestilence in the land. The pestilence that I speak of is the one that started way back in the garden of Eden. It’s called #narcissism. It’s infecting our homes, schools, workplaces, and churches. When the infection shows up in the Body of Christ, we are often bamboozled. Why? It doesn’t look the way we thought it would. Therefore, we ignore it. Or even worse, we play with it, telling it to have a seat at our table as it steals, kills, and destroys every area of our power, SOUL, and identity. #love #loveandfreedom #narcissist #toxicrelationships #toxicchurch
Do you know what gaslighting is? Have you ever experienced gaslighting yourself? Did you know that there is more than one kind of gaslighting? Yes, I know. It sounds like a lot. And it is. But with the help of God’s word, we will dissect the ins and outs of Freedomology, gaslighting, and how to heal and get your life back. #gaslighting #Katinahorton #toxicrelationships #youareenough
When it comes to the behavior of a person with a spirit of narcissism, it feels easier to place the blame on them for every single thing that happens in life. However, there is a part that everyone else plays in the theater production. Triangulation is one of them. Listen in to see where you are taking the bait and exacerbating the problem, and or being a party to abuse by proxy. #narcissist #toxicrelationships #triangulation
No one wants to seem like the bad guy. At the same time, either we armor up and do what’s necessary to love, respect, honor, be loyal to, and have dignity for ourselves, or we sign up for allowing people to break through every gate and door so they can steal, kill, and destroy our joy, identity, calling, and the mission. #boundaries#narcissism#freedom#loveandfreedom
The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
Our Mission, Vision, & Why
Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough. Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world. We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.
Why won’t you set boundaries? This is a question that someone may have asked you recently.
The answer is not a one size fit all. One reason may be fear of being alone and rejected. Another reason may be lack of housing.
A spirit of unworthiness can also be the culprit.
When you possess a spirit of unworthiness, you have a belief system of not being worthy enough. Thus, if you believe you are unworthy, you will not value your time, body, and soul.
And as a domino effect, when we don’t value our time, body, and soul, other people won’t either. They will rip through our bodies and souls with trauma like nobody’s business. Why? Either they don’t care or don’t have the ability.
The people who don’t care are walking around hurting other people in order to hurt themselves. We mirror our feelings about ourselves onto others. They are the group of personality disordered and spirit of narcissism and narcissistic tendencies group.
This group have wounds that are drowning in shame and insecurities around their childhoods and everything involved in their upbringing.
The people who don’t have the ability also walk around hurting other people. The difference is that it’s unintentional due to emotional immaturity, limiting beliefs, limited worldview, resources, skills, lies they believe about themselves and others, false concepts about love, etc.
We can’t make either group have a come to Jesus because love involves freedom. The moment that we X out freedom, we have control. And we can barely make ourselves do what we need to do.
This group also needs healing by going back to their family’s love story garden, dismantling the lies and limiting beliefs that led to the limited worldviews/strongholds.
When we stop being curious about God’s character, and then ourselves, we stop being curious about others. This leads to the inability group doing whatever they need to do to unknowingly make sure they never release the stronghold through confirmation bias.
We are responsible for giving ourselves what we need.
Although it doesn’t feel or seem right, it’s nobody else’s responsibility to understand and give us what we need.
God loves us, enabling us to love ourselves, and spread this love over to others. Taking responsibility for our own needs and issues is part of loving others.
We often find ourselves driving down the same streets over and over again, bewildered as to how and or why we are where we are.
It’s almost like going through a corn maze. Just as soon as you thought you had found the path to the exit, you are right back on the path you were on 15 to 20 minutes ago, feeling trapped, in a state of stuckness, and trying to get out.
And thus, the record player becomes, “I thought that I was done with this particular situation. Why am I dealing with this again?”
This recording has both a loaded statement and question.
There is not a one size fits all answer. We could be listing the reasons all day long.
Sometimes we are dealing with certain areas over and over again because we are peeling the onion of that particular area one layer of a time. It’s tempting to want to plow through traumatic and emotional events. However, it’s not in our best interest.
Plowing through trauma equals elevated areas of pain. It’s the too much too fast syndrome so to speak.
We can order up 50 years of problems in three months please at the McDonald’s drive-through. Healing is work. And self-work takes time. Lots of time, energy, patience, and resilience.
But then we have other issues that are not dealing with plowing through trauma at all. These issues stem from lack of action on our part. Not knowing our identity, having a lack of unworthiness, possessing a lack of boundaries, appointing ourselves as the family, workplace, group, and or church scapegoat, projection, and our desire to control all contribute to unclean spirits re-entering areas in our mind, body, sold, and spirit that have already been cleaned out
And thus, when they re-enter, they bring seven other friends(demonic spirits) with them.
“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation.”
Matthew 12:43-45, ESV
We like to skip over this part because it forces us to look at the role we are playing in the narcissistic system, whether it be at your church, in your home, family, workplace and or business location.
Like dealing with fractions, as soon as we can locate what the common denominator is in each and every one of the situations, then, and only then, can we come up with a feasible solution. Otherwise, we continue to go round and round, strung out, and in circles to a slavery system that is going nowhere until you make the decision to break camp.
One of the hardest things to do is to get to the point of letting go of people, places, things, and ideas no longer serving us.
Two of the main culprits is history and value. You’ve known this friend since high school. Your parents went to school together. You joined the same sorority in college.
But does that mean that this person is the one who has been called to be in your future?
Some of the questions that you can ask yourself when it comes to deciding what needs letting go are the following:
Where am I now?
What are my values?
Where are they now?
What are their values?
What is the mission and vision of my calling?
Does this person, place, thing, or idea align with my values, vision, and mission?
After answering these questions, the truth is what will really often surprise you.
We sabotage our calling when our daily habits, routines, and relationships are incongruent with our mission and vision.
Healing after narcissistic abuse requires letting go of the people, places, things, and ideas/concepts that reinforce a slavery mindset and limited worldview.
Remember, slavery mindset means that you are in Energizer bunny mode 24/7. God solved this mindset and way of living by instituting Sabbath.
The more we open our minds to curiosity about people, places, things, and ideas, the more we can begin to eliminate the limited worldview stemming from our family’s love story garden, and reinforced by other people, places, things, and ideas along the way, and adopt God’s worldview, solely based on his abundance, sovereignty, and ownership of the world.
There is nothing communal about the communal narcissist. It’s only a guise. Listen in to this bonus episode to learn about how the communal narcissist gets away with his/her mess. Be blessed! #love #empath #narcissist #narcissism #toxicrelationships #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
Communal Narcissists Bonus Episode
The Love and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
Our Mission, Vision, & Why Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.
We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.
Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.
Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Speaker Podcast Host Course Creator Dance Minister E-commerce Store Owner
1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program
1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program
Leave Egypt Today!
Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call
Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!
WANT TO PARTNER WITH VALLEY OF GRACE MINISTRIES IN MONTHLY SPONSORSHIPS?
YOU CAN SIGN UP ON URBAN SKYE’S WEBSITE AT: HTTPS://URBANSKYE.GIVINGFUEL.COM/KATINA-HORTON BECOME A SPOTIFY MEMBER AND RECEIVE SPECIAL MEMBER COUPONS TO THE VALLEY OF GRACE SHOP, MONTHLY COACHING, AS WELL AS BONUS EPISODES ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, BIBLICAL HEALING, AND WHOLENESS:
Communal narcissists appear to be all about community. However, it’s a coverup for opportunity. Anybody and everybody will be used as pawns in their theater production. They are the directors of their own mind show. #toxicrelationships
4 Things Communal Narcissists Do To Keep Drama, Trauma, Chaos, and Confusion Going
The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
Our Mission, Vision, & Why Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.
We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.
Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.
Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Speaker Podcast Host Course Creator Dance Minister E-commerce Store Owner
1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program
1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program
Leave Egypt Today!
Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call
Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!
WANT TO PARTNER WITH VALLEY OF GRACE MINISTRIES IN MONTHLY SPONSORSHIPS?
YOU CAN SIGN UP ON URBAN SKYE’S WEBSITE AT: HTTPS://URBANSKYE.GIVINGFUEL.COM/KATINA-HORTON BECOME A SPOTIFY MEMBER AND RECEIVE SPECIAL MEMBER COUPONS TO THE VALLEY OF GRACE SHOP, MONTHLY COACHING, AS WELL AS BONUS EPISODES ON TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, BIBLICAL HEALING, AND WHOLENESS:
When you say it is finished, you sign off to the fact that the striving is over. You will not try to control the outcome of the relationship. You will not beg your narcissistic partner to change. You will not try to fix him, control him, manipulate him a little bit in order to have the best version of him, be the best version of you, and have your needs met.
You will not beg for attention, love, affection, etc. You will not try to Build a Bear when it comes to your narcissistic partner. You will release control. You will allow God to be sovereign. You will be yourself and allow your partner to be himself.
It is finished.
Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
