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What happens after the bombing?-The Relationship Cycle

The question that one might ask themselves is: what happens after the bombing? As stated in our previous post, after the bombing comes the sea of shame. And although you would think your soul’s reaction would be enough to make you stop and think, oftentimes, it doesn’t.

There is a small percentage of the cases where the individual takes a time-out based upon their body, mind, and soul’s reaction to love-bombing. However, 9.9 times out of ten, the reason you were picked as a target in the first place was because of your issues with low self-esteem, low self-worth, poor body image, or a combo of all three.

As sad and unsettling as it may sound, you were picked because you were an easy target to be disarmed and molded into what the other broken person in the toxic relationship wanted you to be. What you haven’t figured out yet, is that you are expected to return the favor.

Not the favor and disarming and molding. The worship.

Love-bombing isn’t done just for the sake of it. It is done to pull you in like nothing else has so you can stay all in. Once you have demonstrated that you are all in, the love-bombing ends. That is too much energy to put into any one person for an extended period of time.

The other person in the toxic relationship wants to be worshipped just like you were. However, the rules for their worship is different. Unlike love-bombing that leaves you in a sea of shame, they want the worship without the shame. You can’t ever give constructive criticism, feedback, or point out any wrongdoing.

Why?

Giving your take on any of these areas means that you are tarnishing the perfect, distorted image of what the other broken person in your toxic/unhealthy relationship has created. And that is a no-no.

The worship that belongs only to God has now gone to man. God never intended that to be.

He made that clear when he gave Moses the ten commandments on the mountaintop.

Somehow, as women, with Satan’s help, we twist around the word of God, making ourselves believe that God has told us to do everything that our husbands want us to do. When “obeying” your husband lies in direct conflict of obeying and worshipping God, we definitely have a problem.

You don’t realize the severity of it because your brokenness of unworthiness, low self-worth, and not enoughness is leading you in making decisions. You, as the wounded person is depending on the other broken person in the relationship to provide the enoughness that you are lacking. But only God can do that.

Until next time,

Katina

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Love-bombed! Part 2

In our last post, we discussed what it means to be love-bombed. In this post, Love-bombed! Part 2, we are tackling why we are left swimming in a sea of shame from being love-bombed.

First of all, our bodies are aware of and respond to things that are happening around us before our minds get wind of it. Our heart starts racing, our bodies start shaking or tensing up, and other times our posture starts to shrink as if we are cowering within or trying to brace ourselves.

By the time our minds have caught up with what our bodies already know, we are then able to decide if this is a good thing or bad thing. Having all attention on you may seem like a good thing. However, we must remember that the spiritual energy that accompanies being love-bombed is nothing good.

The energy is toxic. And it is the toxic spiritual energy that causes the reverse of what would be expected to happen.

The response itself is the warning sign. But again, if we are too caught up, we will miss it.

If we are not, it is then that we can stop, reassess the situation, and then use wisdom in whether to move forward.

Nine times out of ten, there is no stopping. No “Be still and know that I am God”. (Psalm 46:10)

You are intoxicated by being love-bombed. Knowing and feeling something is off, but entangled in a web of energy that’s indescribable.

In the next post, we will discuss what usually happens after being love-bombed.

Remember: You are enough. You can reclaim your power and identity at any point in the relationship cycle.

Until next time,

Katina

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Love-Bombed!

Ok, so you know that it is normal to crave relationship. You also know that it is normal to enter a new relationship. Knowing these two, one might wonder, then what is the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship?

There are several differences between the two. In this post, I will discuss the first difference in detail. When you enter an unhealthy relationship, you are immediately “love-bombed.” Love-bombed means you are swept off your feet and over-the-top lavished on. It feels too good to be true. You are given flowers, poetry, words of affirmation, opened doors, lots of teddy bears, gifts, candy, etc.

Everybody knows about you. As a matter of fact, they seem to know more about you than you know about you.

Although this may seem natural, and nothing that should raise concern, it is. You just don’t know that yet. But by the next part you will. What seems to feel good; “this is my trophy, my woman, my display” show soon turns into you feeling like something is off. And not just a little bit. Something feels terribly off. An emotion starts creeping up that you are familiar with, but you can’t place it.

That emotion is shame. You are bathing in it. Next thing you know, you are in the Garden of Eden, and covering yourself with leaves. But why?

That is the all-encompassing question. We will answer that one in the next post. In case you missed the last post, catch up with Enmeshed Here.

Until next time,

Katina

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Episode 113: What’s Behind that Door And More…

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 113: What's Behind that Door And More...
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Do you like surprises? Some people don’t.

I like good surprises. Although to be honest, when good surprises come, sometimes they can be so shocking that it leads you to being an emotional wreck. In this case, good surprises can feel like bad surprises as I experienced a few years ago.

When you listen in to this week’s podcast episode, you will see how surprises come up in the beginning of a relationship. You also get to decide how you will respond when these relationship surprises come up. Or will you respond at all? Part of creating an empowered new chapter of life is using our power of choice. Be blessed!

Until next time,

Katina