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Episode 4: Unhealed Brokenness & Toxic Relationships

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 4: Unhealed Brokenness & Toxic Relationships
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I am blessed to be airing Episode 4:  Unhealed Brokenness & Toxic Relationships.  Last week I aired Episode 3:  Broken People Judging Broken People, and it can be found here.  I am not a mental health professional.  I am speaking on this topic based upon my relationships with individuals in the last twenty years where toxicity existed.

I pray that if you are dealing with any of the signs/symptoms in a relationship, that are mentioned in this podcast, that you seek professional help in navigating this dynamic, and that you remove yourself from the toxic dance before it’s too late.

Unhealed Brokenness & Toxic Relationships Podcast Outline

  • Background on My Unhealed Areas of Brokenness
  • Signs and Symptoms of Toxic Relationships/Personality Disordered Individuals
  • Woman At the Well
  • Woman with the Issue of Blood
  • When to Get Out

C-PTSD, bullying, personality disorder, toxic relationships, ptsd, trauma, emotional health, mental health, depression, anxiety, spiritual help, abuse, emotional abuse, judging, criticizing, unhealed brokenness and toxic people, healing our brokenness, valley of grace, blog, podcast, Christian, family issues
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Bible Verses for Meditation:

 

John 4: 7-26

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.a])

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband.18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

26 Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

personality disorder, toxic relationships, ptsd, trauma, emotional health, mental health, depression, anxiety, spiritual help, abuse, emotional abuse, judging, criticizing, unhealed brokenness and toxic people, healing our brokenness, valley of grace, blog, podcast, Christian, family issues, bullying, C-ptsd
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Mark 5:25-34 New International Version (NIV)

25 And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. 26 She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.27 When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, 28 because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” 29 Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

30 At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”

31 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”

32 But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33 Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34 He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Matthew 18:15-17 New International Version

(NIV)

Dealing With Sin in the Church

 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Episode 3: Broken People Judging Broken People

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 3: Broken People Judging Broken People
/

Podcast Breakdown:

Last week, our podcast was focused on “Conflict Among Broken People”.  You can find the podcast here.  This week’s topic is  “Broken People Judging Broken People”.

  • What is brokenness?
  • What is judging?
  • What does Jesus say about judging?

Judging Others Matthew 7: 1-5

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

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Photo and Quote by Katina Horton

Judging Point #1

2 Samuel 12: 9-14

Judging Point #2

Our Reactions

Judging Point #3

John 8:5-11

In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Judging Point #4

Our Life Application

Episode 2: Conflict Among Broken People

Analysis of Avoiding Conflict

I used to think that avoiding conflict was good. I thought that avoiding conflict was the same thing as avoiding confusion, strife, and extra drama. I took pride in thinking that avoiding conflict was keeping the peace. I was so wrong about that.  What I was doing was avoiding dealing with a small problem, which later became an out of control problem.  This was due to fear of the response of the other person.

What God revealed to me recently was profound: We are all broken, and so when we avoid conflict, we are avoiding dealing with the problems that arise between two or more broken individuals.

This podcasts dissects all aspects of the word conflict, by giving the things that occurs when we avoid conflict to going through the steps to take to resolving conflict.

Conflict Among Broken People, anxiety ,depression, brokenness, depression, emotional health, mental health, family issues, lifestyle, mental health, blog, spiritual health, trauma, conflict
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  • King Solomon Handled Conflict
  • Used Wisdom
  • Used Discernment

 

  • King David Refused Conflict
  • Used Avoidance
  • Used Passive-Aggressive Behavior

 

Bible Verses to Focus on:

1 Kings 3: 28

Everyone in Israel was amazed when they heard how Solomon had made his decision. They realized that God had given him wisdom to judge fairly.

2 Samuel 13: 21-22

When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.(2 Samuel 13-21-22) 

2 Samuel 13: 28-29

Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled. (2 Samuel 13:28-29)

2 Samuel 13: 37-38

Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son.  After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. (2 Samuel 13:37-38)

2 Samuel 18: 14-15

Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree.  And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him. (2 Samuel 18: 14-15)

Matthew 18: 15-17  If Your Brother Sins Against You

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Revelations 2: 1-6

2:1 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write the following: “This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has a firm grasp on the seven stars in his right hand – the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands: 2 ‘I know your works as well as your labor and steadfast endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil. You have even put to the test those who refer to themselves as apostles (but are not), and have discovered that they are false. 

3 I am also aware that you have persisted steadfastly, endured much for the sake of my name, and have not grown weary. 4 But I have this against you: You have departed from your first love! 5 Therefore, remember from what high state you have fallen and repent! Do the deeds you did at the first; if not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place – that is, if you do not repent. 6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate.

Episode 1: Exploitation of Our Brokenness

Breakdown of the Podcast: Exploitation of Our Brokenness

This podcast episode deals with how Satan uses people as tools in order to exploit our unhealed areas of brokenness.  This is done by studying several areas:

  • Our Weak Spots
  • Our Insecurities
  • Our Broken Family Areas

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Secondly, we are given an analysis of the following:

  • How Kids Adapt to Brokenness
  • My own brokenness of Self-Worth
  • Why I Stayed in a 20-year emotionally abusive marriage
  • How I Began to heal in My Areas of Low Self-Worth
  • How I Am Healing Today

brokenness, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, emotional health, trauma, anxiety, depression, lifestyle, broken, brokenness, family issues

The Need for approval Is Blurred by the Lens of these areas of Brokenness:

  • Where we Live
  • Our Cultural Experiences
  • Our Environment
  • Where we Shop
  • Abandonment Issues
  • Church Leader Issues
  • Abuse Issues
  • Job Experience

These are the scripture verses that can go along with this podcast, and can be used for meditation in healing from the self-worth hustle, overachievement, and perfectionism loop.

Ephesians 2:8-9 New International Version (NIV)

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Romans 8:1 New International Version (NIV)

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set youa]”>[free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Luke 10:41-42, Berean Study Bible

 41“Martha,Martha, the Lord replied, “you are worried and upsetabout many things. 42But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.”…