One of the most important things that you can do when healing from Narcissistic Abuse is to give yourself permission to grieve.
When we think of grief, we are tempted to think of it as being linear.
Grief is more of an art form. I say an art form because no two people grieve alike.
We are allowed to take grief and transform it to whatever experience that we desire.
It can be sunsets, rainbows , and beach balls producing perspective and healing , and then other times like waterfalls, waves, and up-and-down rollercoasters .
Whatever experience that grief is taking you through, it is with the intention of producing a new self, a true self, one that enables you to heal from past hurts, and reclaim your power and identity.
The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Although these are the five stages, and this is also supposed to be the exact order, The first four stages can actually be mixed in altogether like one massive ball of rubber bands, and then also dealt with individually at the same time.
There is no one set of rules.
Grief can be released in several different forms as well. Dancing, walking, talking, exercising, and crying are all different ways to help grief to travel through and be released from its maze in your body.
The first temptation can be to stuff and suppress your emotions when the grief comes. However, as we talked about before, this only leads to alternative construction healing.
Ignoring things never make them go away.
The only way to get to the smooth pavement is to go under construction and fully heal. Going around the healing can take two to three times as long.
The second temptation is to compare your grief process with someone else’s. Comparison can often lead to self-judgment, self- condemnation, and self-blame.
When you embrace your art of grief, you embrace and surrender to your art of healing .
Remember: you are enough. You do not have to surrender to someone else’s idea of how your healing journey should be.
This is for you and God to decide.
Until next time,