Toxic Jealousy- David and King Saul’s Relationship and its Danger
Some relationships we’re in are just toxic. There’s no other way to look at them. But we stay in them. Why? Let’s dissect this.
The Danger of Passing Judgment
Introduction
We haven’t fully digested it yet, but we love playing God. We have all shaken our fingers at someone in person, or in our heads. We have been self-nominated as “The Judge”. God Himself. When people like/dislike things differently than us, we wear the black robe and pound the gavel. “I don’t know why he/she spent $500 on wine and cheese. They could have bought their children some clothes. And by the way, did you see what their kids had on for school today?”
Danger of Passing Judgment
We judge other people whose sins are different from ours, forgetting that in God’s eyes sin is sin. We stay stuck on the obvious sins of murder, sex, and blasphemy, and we push aside our idolatry of being in debt over poor spending choices, passive parenting, emotionally angry outbursts, codependency, gossip, lying, and racism.
Unfortunately, we have gotten so good at being judge that we take notes, so that we can pour out all of our detective findings to our friends. It is because our lives are perfect. Right? Our kids are perfect. We are perfect. We have never made bad decisions that we will never regret for the rest of our lives. We have never said or thought something racist. As Christians, we are told to love God with our hearts, soul, mine, and strength, and our neighbors as ourselves. Satan has blinded us into being legalistic and using two sins to distinguish us from good Christians and bad Christians. When do we hold up the mirror to ourselves, and truly ask God to reveal our broken parts in these areas.
Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?
2 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
3 Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?
4 If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.
5 I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?
6 But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.
7 Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?
8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards,
nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.- 1 Corinthians 6: 1-12
The key lies in verse 11 that helps : “And such were some of you”, and the words “but ye” are…
It shows how our eyes have been blinded to our own sins. It leads to legalism and self-righteousness.
Until we have judged someone harshly, and that measurement is given back to us.
Remember the story of David and Bathsheba? Remember what David said to Nathan in response to the Rich Man’s behavior for stealing the “ewe lamb” from the poor man. He wanted this man to pay several times over. And guess what? That is exactly what happened to David. The sad background music that played for David was, “You are that man!”
So, what is the antidote for judging?
“Humility and empathy are the antidotes to judging other people and their situations.”
Katina Horton
Let’s remember this when we are tempted to put on our black robes and wave our fingers at others. God is waving his finger at us playing the background music entitled, “YOU ARE THAT MAN!”
“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:2, NIV
Pushing for the Calling
How many of you have been told by God that you were destined for a calling? You went through the steps of walking in that calling until Satan started to shame you with your personal struggles, and what your present reality is, rather than God’s truth. That is what has happened to me as well. When life’s disappointments begin to scream at us from every direction known to man, we start to second guess what it is that God already promised us. As a matter of fact, when God spoke your calling over your life, the promise was so strong, that you could feel God’s peace over you.
God is not a liar. His word will not return unto him void. However, we are not in charge of the timing. But, because we don’t see God’s promise coming to fruition right away, we allow the enemy to shame us with doubt and negative views of God. We detach ourselves from seeing his provision, faithfulness, and goodness while we wait.
David was on the run from Saul. He decided to go to the King of Moab and request for his parents to stay with him: “Would you let my father and mother come and stay with you until I learn what God will do for me?” 1 Samuel 22: 3. David was discouraged because of Saul’s pursuit of him. In this discouragement, he started doubting God’s goodness and promise. God had already elected him as king. Somehow his being on the run had caused him to forget that.
“When we push to do the calling God has on our lives, we are rebuking the enemy when he tries to shame us with the weight and reality of our current struggles.”
Katina Horton
We become cynical, forgetting that God is on a different timetable than ours. When we are pushing, we are moving beyond and expanding past the point of our limitations. This can only be done with the help of God. When we push to do the calling God has on our lives, we are rebuking the enemy when he tries to shame us with the weight and reality of our current struggles.
Sometimes pushing means that we ignore other peoples’ comments about our actions being ridiculous when we know what God has promised. Even Jesus had to rebuke Satan when Peter tried to interrupt the process of Jesus going to the cross for our sins. Jesus knew his calling and purpose. Peter just didn’t get with the program. Sometimes when nobody else will, we have to encourage ourselves in the Lord.
Blessings,
Katina
Episode 24: Hurting People
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Hello everyone! I hope that you enjoyed your Resurrection weekend! In case you missed the last podcast episode, you can click here to catch up.
Hurting People Podcast Outline
- Introduction
- Hurting People Hurt Unintentionally
- Hurting People Hurt Intentionally
- David and His Hurting Men
- How to Stop the Cycle
- Podcast Transcript
Good morning! Welcome to Healing Our Brokenness Episode 24: Hurting People. We have all heard of the phrase “Hurting People Hurt People”. While some of us may not like the phrase itself, it is the truth. God gives us freedom in truth. We are all broken. We live in a broken, fallen world. Because we are broken, until we mend and glue together the broken pieces of the puzzle to our family’s iniquities, we will continue to intentionally and unintentionally hurt others.
Unintentional Hurting
We unintentionally hurt others when we live with unhealed brokenness from the wounds of our past, sin, pain, and pride. Our unhealed wounds bleed out onto our immediate and extended families, coworkers, and Sisters and Brothers in Christ. A lot of times, when we are broken, we become so self-absorbed in our own pain and wounds, that we don’t even notice that other people are going through things themselves.
We make vows that we will never be like our family member or other person who inflicted pain upon us. However, if we are not going through some form of healing, whether it’s seeing a therapist, coach, or seeking self-help through books, we end up being just like them. Our kids start learning dysfunctional patterns of behavior and coping mechanisms for pain. We hurt them with our pain, and then they learn how to live their adult lives by what they see us doing. We continue to pass down this vicious cycle.
My Family’s Pain
Upon moving to my last residence, my kids and I had suffered so much trauma. And it wasn’t just that we had suffered trauma. We were trauma bonded through some of the events that had taken place. Because we were all dealing with an extreme amount of pain, initially we could only see ourselves as the ones who were the victim. Each one of us blamed the other person and put on the persona of being innocent. In actuality, each one of us had hurt each other unintentionally. We were blind to the truth.
Before moving from my last residence, I began taking serious steps of dealing with the trauma that I had endured in my life. Not only did I begin to deal with it, but I learned how to be vulnerable. And I had to learn the difference between vulnerability and surface vulnerability. When surface vulnerability occurs, you tell stay on the surface, only telling people what you think they want to hear so that you don’t look like the “broken one”.
Intentional Hurting
When we intentionally hurt others, we make sure that other people are going to pay for what someone else did to us. If we were invalidated, then we make sure that everybody else is constantly invalidated. If were abused, then we abuse. If we were judged and criticized, then we make it our mission to judge and criticize others. If our beef is with something that another male or female did, then every male and female will have to pay. We turn into bashers.
Application
For example, I was watching a television show, and on the show, one lady was trying to run a smear campaign on her former brother-in-law because he had operated on her sister, who had cancer and died. It had been discovered that negligence hadn’t taken place. However, she kept making her point that he would pay for what he had done.
Another female character told her that making her former brother-in-law pay for her sister’s death wasn’t going to bring her sister back. She had wounds that she needed to heal. She had pain that she needed to deal with. Blame blinds us to facing the truth that we are hurting. Blame works as a comfort pacifier and prevents us from seeing what the real problem is. Making others pay definitely doesn’t change the truth. It doesn’t right what was wronged. It doesn’t stop our hearts and souls from bleeding out. It only makes matters worse.
David and his men had been out on a mission. They returned to Ziklag, only to find it burned, raided, and the women and children taken captive. They were all in such pain, that they almost killed David. Killing David would have only provided temporary relief. At the end of the day, whatever we use to numb our pain will only be temporary. Our problems are still there. We have only added to the depth of them.
Let’s listen to the story in 1 Samuel 30:
“1 Samuel 30 New International Version (NIV)
David Destroys the Amalekites
30 David and his men reached Ziklag on the third day. Now the Amalekites had raided the Negev and Ziklag. They had attacked Ziklag and burned it, 2 and had taken captive the women and everyone else in it, both young and old. They killed none of them but carried them off as they went on their way.
3 When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. 4 So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. 5 David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 6 David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.
7 Then David said to Abiathar the priest, the son of Ahimelek, “Bring me the ephod.” Abiathar brought it to him, 8 and David inquired of the Lord, “Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?”
“Pursue them,” he answered. “You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue.”
How to Stop the Cycle
- When we are in pain, we take out hurt and hearts to Jesus. He is the only one who can help us to sort through the mess of our past.
- Take responsibility and sign up for therapy and support group where we can be held accountable.
- Refuse to give in to the enemy’s plan to isolate ourselves.
- Listen to good preaching.
- Read self-help books.
- We are intentional about not making ourselves targets for the spirits of self-pity and blame.
- Pray and ask others for forgiveness and patience as we wrestle through the pain and wounds of our past.
Thank you for listening to Episode 24: Hurting People! Have a blessed day in the Lord!
Dancing in the Rain
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The last podcast that was recorded was Episode 10: Pick up your mat and walk! You can find that episode here. Today’s episode is called “Dancing in the Rain”. I know that there are quite a few of you who like to dance. Unfortunately, this isn’t the kind of dancing that I am talking about. This dancing deals with the response to the storms of life. Click the play button and take a listen. God bless!
Outline of Dancing in the Rain podcast:
- Dancing in the Rain Movie-style
- Dancing in the Rain Storm style
- How Job danced in the Rain
- How I danced in the Rain
- How Do you Dance in the Rain?
- Bible Verses to Meditate On:
1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
2 And there were born unto him seven sons and three daughters.
3 His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five hundred she asses, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the men of the east.
4 And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one his day; and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.
5 And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.
6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them.
7 And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.
8 And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?
9 Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought?
10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.
11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.
12 And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.
13 And there was a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house:
14 And there came a messenger unto Job, and said, The oxen were plowing, and the asses feeding beside them:
15 And the Sabeans fell upon them, and took them away; yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
17 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The Chaldeans made out three bands, and fell upon the camels, and have carried them away, yea, and slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
18 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, Thy sons and thy daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house:
19 And, behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young men, and they are dead; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
20 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,
21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Vivian Greene
Dance of Praise
My last poem, Transformation, can be found here. This poem, Dance of Praise, deals with the story of David praising God after his victory, and his wife becoming jealous and spiteful because of how he praised God.
Oh David danced,
Oh yes, he danced.
Till servants stared and women pranced.
Michal called out, “You are a fool!”
But David cried, “There are no rules!”
You see my God has brought me out.
Just need to dance, to get it out.
And I will dance all in the street.
Till I can feel it in my feet.
And when I’m done, I’ll be worn out.
Just need to dance, to get it out.
There are no words to speak my pain.
And so I dance, remove disdain.
You see my God knew from the start.
He called me Man, after his Heart.
Oh David danced,
Oh yes, he danced.
Till servants stared and women pranced.
Bible Verses to Meditate On
14 And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.
15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lordwith shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.
16 And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.
17 And they brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in his place, in the midst of the tabernacle that David had pitched for it: and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord.
18 And as soon as David had made an end of offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts.
19 And he dealt among all the people, even among the whole multitude of Israel, as well to the women as men, to every one a cake of bread, and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon of wine. So all the people departed every one to his house.
20 Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!
21 And David said unto Michal, It was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel: therefore will I play before the Lord.
22 And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.
23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.
King James Version (KJV)
Episode 8: The Fear and Exhaustion Cocktail
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Our last podcast, Episode 7: The Benefits of Suffering, was recorded two weeks ago. When we are dealing with suffering, as the word itself suggests, there seems to be no benefits at all. God has a word for all of us in how we can see this differently. That episode can be found here.
Today’s episode, Episode 8: The Fear and Exhaustion Cocktail lets us know the dangers of what happens when we mix the two. Hold onto your seats! Or, should I say run fast!
The Fear and Exhaustion Cocktail Outline
- Cause and Effect of Fear
- Cause and Effect of Exhaustion
- Three Things That Happen when we Drink the Fear and Exhaustion Cocktail
- Remedy for Fear and Exhaustion Hangover
- What Happened when I Drank the Fear and Exhaustion Cocktail
- Bible Verses for Today’s podcast
David Among the Philistines-1 Samuel 27
Part 1
27 But David thought to himself, “One of these days I will be destroyed by the hand of Saul. The best thing I can do is to escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will give up searching for me anywhere in Israel, and I will slip out of his hand.”
2 So David and the six hundred men with him left and went over to Achish son of Maok king of Gath. 3 David and his men settled in Gath with Achish. Each man had his family with him, and David had his two wives: Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail of Carmel, the widow of Nabal.4 When Saul was told that David had fled to Gath, he no longer searched for him.
5 Then David said to Achish, “If I have found favor in your eyes, let a place be assigned to me in one of the country towns, that I may live there. Why should your servant live in the royal city with you?”
6 So on that day Achish gave him Ziklag, and it has belonged to the kings of Judah ever since. 7 David lived in Philistine territory a year and four months.
Part 2
8 Now David and his men went up and raided the Geshurites, the Girzites and the Amalekites. (From ancient times these peoples had lived in the land extending to Shur and Egypt.) 9 Whenever David attacked an area, he did not leave a man or woman alive, but took sheep and cattle, donkeys and camels, and clothes. Then he returned to Achish.
10 When Achish asked, “Where did you go raiding today?” David would say, “Against the Negev of Judah” or “Against the Negev of Jerahmeel” or “Against the Negev of the Kenites.” 11 He did not leave a man or woman alive to be brought to Gath, for he thought, “They might inform on us and say, ‘This is what David did.’” And such was his practice as long as he lived in Philistine territory. 12 Achish trusted David and said to himself, “He has become so obnoxious to his people, the Israelites, that he will be my servant for life.”
Elijah Flees to Horeb 1 Kings 19
19 Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.”
3 Elijah was afraida] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
7 The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.
The Lord Appears to Elijah
And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shatteredthe rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
15 The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram.16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”
The Call of Elisha
19 So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him. 20 Elisha then left his oxen and ran after Elijah. “Let me kiss my father and mother goodbye,” he said, “and then I will come with you.”
“Go back,” Elijah replied. “What have I done to you?”
21 So Elisha left him and went back. He took his yoke of oxen and slaughtered them. He burned the plowing equipment to cook the meat and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he set out to follow Elijah and became his servant.
If We’re Judging
A few weeks ago, I presented a podcast entitled, ” Broken People Judging Broken People” located here. A week ago, God impressed upon my heart to write a poem on judging. I finally did it tonight. Be blessed!
If We’re Judging
If we’re judging, if we’re judging,
Holy Spirit gives a nudging
“Get the plank out of your eye!
Makes it bulge like a sty.”
Makes us blind
Unable to see
Our own sin that’s running free.
God sent Nathan his great prophet
“Talk to David, he’s been hopping”
So Dear Nathan spoke to David,
“This poor man, he was so hated,
by the rich who took his lamb.
Oh, Dear David,
You are that man”.
Took Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife.
Done in secret, caused so much strife.
“Oh, Dear David, what will you do?”
“Repent right now.
I’ll be renewed.”
If we’re judging, if we’re judging,
Holy Spirit gives a nudging
“Get the plank out of your eye!
Makes it bulge like a sty.”
Makes us blind
Unable to see
Our own sin that’s running free.
Psalm 51
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, isb] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Run For Your Life!
Background
Have you ever been in a situation where you had to literally run for your life? I have, and I tell you, it is no joke. I had to run to safety. I was right in the middle of going through a divorce, and there was an issue that came up for visitation to be ceased for a few days. Unfortunately, the order was ignored. My daughter and I continued to get call after call, and doorbell ring after doorbell ring. I told her to stay away from the door as both of our nervous systems went into hypervigilant mode. There is more on the hypervigilant mode of trauma here. And if you have been through any type of PTSD/trauma, you know this moment is like fear on steroids X 100 with you watching and waiting for when and where something will happen.
My dear friend called me while this was taking place. I was supposed to be attending a Divorce Support Group that night. There was no way that I was going to leave my daughter at home to deal with this situation. I texted two members of the group, telling them to have fun, and that I had serious situation going on at the homefront. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the fear. My system was jacked up with adrenaline, anxiety, and fear. That’s when my friend advised that I spend the night at her house. She said that I could have trouble on my hands all night if I didn’t. At this point, I was tired of getting the police involved.
The Flight
I packed up our night clothes, my important papers, and clothes for the next day. I also had to call my son and get an okay for him to spend a night at a friend’s home. I told him that he was not to return home for any reason.
My friend pulled up to the garage, and my daughter and I ran to get into her jeep, and as she sped off, the three of us quickly glanced to the right, noticing a figure hanging over pretending as if it were limp.
We didn’t get much sleep that night because we were in hypervigilant mode, waking up every 20 minutes or so, having to both shut our phones down from the incessant ringing.
Biblical Analysis
Like myself, David was on the run for his life. Saul’s jealousy turned into anger, and his anger turned into madness: “And Saul was furious and resented this song. “They have ascribed tens of thousands to David,” he said, “but only thousands to me. What more can he have but the kingdom?” 9And from that day forward Saul kept a jealous eye on David. “1 Samuel 18: 8-9
Once David found out that Saul was going to kill him, he fled, having the king of Moab to house his parents, as I had to house my son overnight: From there David went to Mizpeh of Moab, where he said to the king of Moab, “Please let my father and mother stay with you until I learn what God will do for me.” 4So he left them in the care of the king of Moab, and they stayed with him the whole time David was in the stronghold.… 1 Samuel 22:3-4, BSB
However, David wasn’t able to stay there long. He was advised to leave, running from place to place, cave to cave for safety, but God was with him: Then the prophet Gad said to David, “Do not stay in the stronghold. Depart and go into the land of Judah.” So David left and went to the forest of Hereth.…1 Samuel 22:5, BSB
1 Samuel 23:7-14 King James Version (KJV)
7 And it was told Saul that David was come to Keilah. And Saul said, God hath delivered him into mine hand; for he is shut in, by entering into a town that hath gates and bars.
8 And Saul called all the people together to war, to go down to Keilah, to besiege David and his men.
9 And David knew that Saul secretly practised mischief against him; and he said to Abiathar the priest, Bring hither the ephod.
10 Then said David, O Lord God of Israel, thy servant hath certainly heard that Saul seeketh to come to Keilah, to destroy the city for my sake.
11 Will the men of Keilah deliver me up into his hand? will Saul come down, as thy servant hath heard? O Lord God of Israel, I beseech thee, tell thy servant. And the Lord said, He will come down.
12 Then said David, Will the men of Keilah deliver me and my men into the hand of Saul? And the Lord said, They will deliver thee up.
13 Then David and his men, which were about six hundred, arose and departed out of Keilah, and went whithersoever they could go. And it was told Saul that David was escaped from Keilah; and he forbare to go forth.
14 And David abode in the wilderness in strong holds, and remained in a mountain in the wilderness of Ziph. And Saul sought him every day, but God delivered him not into his hand.
Even when we are at our lowest point, and in the depths of fear, God is with us.
Dear God,
We thank you for being our refuge when there is nowhere else to go. We pray that during times of crises, we would seek you like never before, knowing that you have an angel of armies running with us.
In your name we pray,
Amen
Have a blessed night all!
Katina