We’ve often heard the phrase: 
“No” is a complete sentence.

However, how many of us actually believe it in our hearts, minds, bodies, souls, and spirits?

Once every area of your being is aligned, saying “no” becomes easier than ever.  The hardest time will be the first, and each subsequent time gets easier.

When you are in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, your ability to say no is hampered by the narcissistic abuse cycle.  You began with the symbiosis period like any other romantic relationship. However, self-differentiation doesn’t occur because of the trauma bonding and soul ties that occur during the love bombing phase of the relationship.

It is not until you reclaim your power, soul, and identity so that you will know that you are enough that you understand the power of no.   It is then that you understand the reason why your therapist and every other mental health professional has said: “No is a complete sentence.”

Once you began the healing process, become grounded in your identity, and understand your self-worth, establishing boundaries becomes a byproduct of your work.

And even with all of the self work that you have done, it still becomes difficult to say “No”.

Let’s look at a few reasons:

The first reason why it is hard for you to say no is that you want to control the outcome.  Control is an illusion that all of us human beings have to master.  We have an outcome in mind whenever a trial and or a difficult situation presents itself.  

And thus, in an effort to make sure that the outcome we want is the outcome we get, we start moving things around like we’re playing chess, and a sense of disillusionment about the fact that other people have a right to make their own choices.  

And a lot of times, those choices may or may not make us happy.

The second reason that it is hard for you to say no is that you don’t want to risk losing the relationship.   The relationships that you have with your friend, family member, coworker, and ministry and business partners are currently working because there is a certain dynamic/pattern/toxic dance that exists between you and the other parties. 

And if that pattern of behavior is dysfunctional, more often than not, you telling them “no” poses a change in your relationship status.  People enjoy the broken parts of us.

The third reason that it is hard for you to say no is that you are a people pleaser. You don’t want anyone to be upset with your decision.  People pleasers go all out “ in the name of love” but they’re really participating in the act of self-abandonment, holding back their true needs and wants in order to keep other people happy.  

But no matter what way you look at it, at the end of the day, people are going to do what they are going to do, and we cannot control them. We can only control ourselves and honor what our bodies, souls, and spirits are telling us.

Remember: you are already enough. Reclaim your power, soul, and identity today.  Grab your keys to the kingdom and get your inheritance.

Be blessed!

Katina