When we don’t set boundaries, people get a three for one special of damaging our minds, wills, and emotions, and we become puppets for unclean spirits returning to our lives. #boundaries #value #worth #soul #love #narcissist
The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
Our Mission, Vision, & Why
Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
How many of you have found yourself being someone else’s poison container? How many of you have tried making someone else your poison container? I know. All this talk of poison and containers sound a little weird. Some people like to use the words punching bags. Same difference. Whether you are the victim or the perpetrator, the whole concept is one that is very unhealthy. Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to find out what happens in both situations.
Podcast Outline
Poison Defined
Container Defined
Poison Container Defined
How it works
Workable Solutions
Bible Verses to Ponder On:
Biblical Examples Of Laban and Jacob using Leah as their poison container of deception and past hurt
Would you consider yourself a person of grace and truth, or a person of just truth? What is the difference? Find out by listening to today’s podcast to see what happens when we have one without the other. Remember to catch up on last week’s episode here first.
Relationships are hard. It doesn’t matter whether it’s family,
friends, or coworkers, it can be challenging. One thing about relationships is that they
require time, energy, grace, and love.
When disagreements arise, and they will, we can be so intent on wanting
to be right, that we can damage the relationship even more.
God tells us in his word: “And
you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32,
NLT) We shouldn’t be foolish, and pretend that the truth doesn’t matter. When
we ignore the truth, we train our minds and bodies to slowly downplay the cues
they tell us that signify something is wrong.
Only applying the truth can also bring in legalism. Because God gives us grace, we are able to
extend grace to others. Only applying
grace without truth and boundaries leads to being taken advantage of, an out of
control situation, and the other person constantly pressing the envelope to see
how far they can go. “Then we will no
longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind
of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will
in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.” (Ephesians
4:14-15, BSB)
There are
individuals in my own life who have hurt me dearly. I cannot ignore the revelation of truth that
healing has brought me. At the same
time, if I focused only on the truth of these situations, it would make my
heart bitter. The truth is, we are all
broken individuals, and since we are all broken individuals, we all have sin in
our lives. If it weren’t for God’s mercy
in eliminating certain people and things from my life, I could very well have
gone down that path. Offering grace and
truth to people doesn’t mean restoration of the relationship. It could mean grieving what is no longer
there, acceptance, and the ability to move on.
Dear God,
We thank you
for the relationships that you have blessed us with. We pray that you would give us discernment
when it comes to applying grace and truth in difficult situations. Please help us to understand that we are all
broken individuals in need of a Savior.
Saying “No” is easier for some of us than others. However, when we learn how to use this word, it probably means that we are growing in our emotional and mental health, and learning how to set boundaries. Saying “No” doesn’t translate over to being mean to others. As a matter of fact, the inability to say “no” is being unkind to ourselves. We end up running ourselves ragged pleasing everyone else, and then we are joyless ourselves.
We forget that we do not have never-ending amounts of energy. What we don’t say “NO” to today, will say “NO” to us on tomorrow. This is usually when we start saying “No!” It is when God gives us a time-out. Either we can willingly learn the skill, or we are forced to learn it because our physical health ends up taking a plunge.
When we are able to say “No” to some things, we open ourselves up to being able to say “Yes” to others. These are the things that we have been gifted for. These are the things that involve our spouses, life-giving friends, and children. It also invites our “NO” to become someone else’s opportunity to step up and say “yes”. So, then why is it so hard? It is hard because we have been trained to help others by completely sacrificing ourselves in the process. Helping others requires the sacrifice of dying to ourselves. Sometimes we can get too caught up in our own problems and our family’s problems. We forget that there is a whole ‘nother world outside of us.
However, there is a balance. This is where self-awareness and realization of our limitations come in. It is also hard for us to say “No” if we grew up in a family where we were served guilt for exerting boundaries or having feelings of our own. Initially, it will be difficult. However, the more we practice saying it, the more we are free to prioritize what God wants us to do.
So, let’s practice saying “No”, so that God can say “Yes!” to using us as only he can!
The last poem that I wrote was entitled “Inner Circle”, and it deals with the conflict of deciding who to allow in your inner circle. Today’s poem is entitled Boundaries. It can be difficult to implement boundaries, but when you do, the payoff is rewarding. As with anything, the first step is always the hardest. God bless!
