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The Hoover Addiction Cycle-Let My People Go, Or, I Need Her in My Back Pocket Part 2

The Hoover Addiction Cycle Part 2

The narcissist wants to let you go.  But then again, he doesn’t. He also thinks that for some reason you’re not smart enough to understand his patterns of behavior.  You’re no Boo Boo the fool, even with the gaslighting.  Let’s dive in to part 2.  #toxicrelationships #loveandfreedom #katinahorton   

The Love and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Our Mission, Vision, & Why

Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.

Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.

We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.

Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.

Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist

Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach

Speaker

Podcast Host

Course Creator

Dance Minister

E-commerce Store Owner

1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program

1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program

Leave Egypt Today!

Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call https://thevalleyofgrace.com

Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!

https://thevalleyofgrace.shop

Purchase books that take you from biblical healing to wholeness, thriving, abundance and freedom!!! https://thevalleyofgrace.com or Amazon Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tiktok, Clubhouse, YouTube, Facebook: @katinahortonvgm

DONATIONS: CASHAPP: $THORTON4792 VENMO: @KATINA-HORTON PAYPAL: THEVALLEYOFGRACE.COM WANT TO PARTNER WITH VALLEY OF GRACE MINISTRIES IN MONTHLY SPONSORSHIPS? YOU CAN SIGN UP ON URBAN SKYE’S WEBSITE AT: HTTPS://URBANSKYE.GIVINGFUEL.COM/KATINA-HORTON

The Hard to Detect Cerebral Vulnerable Narcissist Bonus Episode

Being in a relationship with a cerebral vulnerable narcissist is like drinking a toxic cocktail of “I know more than God”, and my victimhood, and status in general, makes me entitled to what I want, and I will do anything to get it.” Listen in to this bonus episode.

The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Our Mission, Vision, & Why

Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.

Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.

We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.

Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.

Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist

Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach

Speaker

Podcast Host

Course Creator

Dance Minister

E-commerce Store Owner

1:1 Freedomology Reclaiming You 1 year Coaching Program

1:1 Freedomology Reclaim Your Calling 2 year Coaching Program

Leave Egypt Today!

Book a Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Call https://thevalleyofgrace.com

Purchase your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Clothing From THE VALLEY OF SHOP Today!

https://thevalleyofgrace.shop

Purchase books that take you from biblical healing to wholeness, thriving, abundance and freedom!!! https://thevalleyofgrace.com or Amazon Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tiktok, Clubhouse, YouTube, Facebook: @katinahortonvgm

DONATIONS: CASHAPP: $THORTON4792 VENMO: @KATINA-HORTON PAYPAL: THEVALLEYOFGRACE.COM WANT TO PARTNER WITH VALLEY OF GRACE MINISTRIES IN MONTHLY SPONSORSHIPS? YOU CAN SIGN UP ON URBAN SKYE’S WEBSITE AT: HTTPS://URBANSKYE.GIVINGFUEL.COM/KATINA-HORTON

Devaluation is Emotional Dumping

Devaluation is the process of taking any person, place, thing or idea/concepts, and reducing the value to anything less than what the manufacturer of that person, place, thing, or idea/concept has given it.

It is good to think of the saying that goes, “what is one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. “

What one person may name is valuable, another person may look at as not bringing as much value to them, and or not having any value at all. However, when it comes to human beings, the only person that we can look to for value affirmation is God.

Devaluation becomes so toxic because it wears down the soul over time. From the time that we are children all the way up through adulthood, we have interacted with people in various arenas, who have possibly devalued us , and damaged our souls.

And when devaluation piles up over time , it creates trauma. And unresolved trauma and undealt with brokenness means that we are handling this devaluation in one of three ways: blowing it through someone else, throwing it away by processing and reframing it, or internalizing it through self hatred.

David’s brother,Eliab, was jealous of him, and his anointing and so he decided that the only way to offload the emotions he was unable to deal with, was to devalue David in front of the other army troops.

And Eliab, his eldest brother, heard when he spoke unto the men; and Eliab’s anger was kindled against David and he said, “Why camest thou down hither? And with whom hast thou left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know thy pride and the willfulness of thine heart, for thou hast come down that thou mightest see the battle.”

1 Samuel 17:28

Because narcissists use other people as supply, which is nothing more than an emotional regulator, their refusal to deal with their own emotions and issues means that other people are ongoing devaluation/emotional dumping grounds. The only way that this dynamic changes is when the people who are in relationships with them see their value as God sees it. Royalty. Priesthood. Righteousness of God in Christ.

When we see our value/worth as God sees it, upholding gaslighting, blame-shifting, deflecting, manipulation, triangulation, future faking, etc, tactics become a thing of the past.

Instead of us, playing along to get along, we will say, “ain’t nobody got time for this!” And then remove ourselves from the situation.

The Self-Righteous Cerebral Narcissist-Bonus Episode

The self-righteous cerebral narcissists in your life are the Pharisees, plain and simple.  This bonus episode dives a little deeper into their brokenness, arrogance, and legalism that so many of us tend to miss.  As my grandmother used to say, “If it was a snake, it would have bit you.”  Listen in to the latest podcast episode. Be blessed! #emotionalhealth #psychology #narcissism #narcissist #selfrighteouscerebralnarcissist #empath #virtuesignaling #control

https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/Sbe8IWHrvxb

Your Wilderness Season Reveals the Self-Righteous Cerebral Narcissist

You had one instance of the countenance of your friend changing towards you. That was it. However, you still don’t feel 100% free to be vulnerable with them when it comes to your trials, tribulations, trauma, and drama. There’s a reason for it. Listen in to my latest podcast episode. Catch the last podcast episode here. #love #loveandfreedom #toxicrelationships

https://anchor.fm/katina-horton/embed/episodes/Your-Wilderness-Season-Reveals-the-Self-Righteous-Cerebral-Narcissist-e1v538b/a-a9br9hn

Did You Pick Up The Right Bag of Fruit?-Toxic Relationships

Sometimes our friends, family, and coworkers may approach us and ask, “ how do you know if a person you are dating or in any other relationship with has good intentions?”

And that seems like a very difficult question to answer. We’ve come up with all different kinds of secret formulas to make this happen. The bottom line is: we have the Holy Spirit, who is our helper, teacher, counselor, comforter, and indwelling friend. And we often forget that.

And then, along with the Holy Spirit aiding us in testing the spirits of the individuals we interact with on a daily basis, we also have the ability to evaluate fruit. If every time we come in contact with certain individuals, and all they do is slander other people, then we know that the fruit they are bearing would be slanderers.

Pretty soon, we will be slanderers.

It’s kind of like going to the grocery store. It’s rare that we end up purchasing bad fruit on purpose. This usually happens if we are buying fruit by the bag. Four instance, if we are purchasing a bag of apples, oranges, tangerines, etc. It’s hard to see every single piece of fruit in the bag.

And just like with the fruit, haphazardly, placing people with toxic traits in our shopping carts are only going to lead to us having toxic hearts, minds, soul, and spirits. We end up buying fruit by the bag when we join clubs, Bible study groups, Ministries, and Churches where we have no way of knowing that there are a few rotten fruit in the bag until we see these individuals outside of their usual places and spaces.

And sometimes even then, it may take a few years, and extensive healing and growing on our part towards self-actualization before we are really able to assess that these particular individuals have existed in our lives all along for Satan‘s agenda of stealing, killing, and destroying us.

So what is the lesson for us in all of this? Never be in a hurry when you’re shopping for fruit.

The Cerebral Vulnerable Narcissist

Cerebral vulnerable narcissism is hard to detect. And although it is hard to detect, we know that something is wrong.

The Holy Spirit serves as our smoke detector of sorts, where its alarm is going off and telling us, “ This doesn’t feel good. Something’s not right here.”

As we have talked about before, when it comes to relationships, we can get so wrapped up in history preservation, as well as whatever amount of value that the other individual(s) is bringing to the relationship, that we fail to acknowledge how the continual behavior of others is causing us to ignore and self-abandon ourselves.

Just think about it, even if you never figured out that a person was a cerebral, vulnerable narcissist, just the constant invalidation, one-upping, and superiority complex alone is enough to make you stop and think if what you are investing in, and the return on your investment, is even worth it.

Once again, the Holy Spirit serves as our smoke detector. And just like with the smoke detectors in our home, when we ignore the constant beeps to change the battery, we risk not being notified when a real fire occurs.

Ignoring the notifications from the Holy Spirit to change the relationships that are damaging our minds, hearts, souls, and spirits only leads up to a trauma-induced fireworks show in our nervous system.

It’s wonderful watching the fireworks outside. However, when the display is inside of us, it could take a while to calm down the flames.

Remember, you are already enough. You do not have to stay in relationships that are constantly going against your values and integrity to prove you are a strong individual. Sometimes the strongest thing that we can do is to practice self-love by letting go, getting out, and knowing that we are worth more. #narcissism #narcissist #cerebralvulnerable #empath #npd #personalitydisorders #psychology #love #loveandfreedom

Until next time,

Katina