What happens after the bombing?-The Relationship Cycle

The question that one might ask themselves is: what happens after the bombing? As stated in our previous post, after the bombing comes the sea of shame. And although you would think your soul’s reaction would be enough to make you stop and think, oftentimes, it doesn’t.

There is a small percentage of the cases where the individual takes a time-out based upon their body, mind, and soul’s reaction to love-bombing. However, 9.9 times out of ten, the reason you were picked as a target in the first place was because of your issues with low self-esteem, low self-worth, poor body image, or a combo of all three.

As sad and unsettling as it may sound, you were picked because you were an easy target to be disarmed and molded into what the other broken person in the toxic relationship wanted you to be. What you haven’t figured out yet, is that you are expected to return the favor.

Not the favor and disarming and molding. The worship.

Love-bombing isn’t done just for the sake of it. It is done to pull you in like nothing else has so you can stay all in. Once you have demonstrated that you are all in, the love-bombing ends. That is too much energy to put into any one person for an extended period of time.

The other person in the toxic relationship wants to be worshipped just like you were. However, the rules for their worship is different. Unlike love-bombing that leaves you in a sea of shame, they want the worship without the shame. You can’t ever give constructive criticism, feedback, or point out any wrongdoing.


Giving your take on any of these areas means that you are tarnishing the perfect, distorted image of what the other broken person in your toxic/unhealthy relationship has created. And that is a no-no.

The worship that belongs only to God has now gone to man. God never intended that to be.

He made that clear when he gave Moses the ten commandments on the mountaintop.

Somehow, as women, with Satan’s help, we twist around the word of God, making ourselves believe that God has told us to do everything that our husbands want us to do. When “obeying” your husband lies in direct conflict of obeying and worshipping God, we definitely have a problem.

You don’t realize the severity of it because your brokenness of unworthiness, low self-worth, and not enoughness is leading you in making decisions. You, as the wounded person is depending on the other broken person in the relationship to provide the enoughness that you are lacking. But only God can do that.

Until next time,


Episode 98: An Interview with Christen Clark

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 98: An Interview with Christen Clark

Have you ever felt called to children’s ministry? What about the worship team? Or does a traveling worship team sound exciting to you? Listen to the interview that I had with children’s ministry director, music major, and podcast host of The Collide Kids Podcast show, Christen Clark to find out about all those things and more.


Christen Clark is the host of The Collide Kids Podcast that she started in 2020, a faith-based, interview-style show for kids and families to enjoy together.  She has been in vocational ministry for over 15 years in various churches serving as worship leader, choir director, bible teacher, and Children’s Ministry director.

Christen is currently pursuing her Masters degree at Dallas Theological Seminary. She is a wife and mother of 2, and lives in Cumming, Georgia. She loves being busy (obviously), meeting new people, and Mexican food.

In case you missed last week’s episode with Confidence and Money Mindset Coach, Eston Swaby, click here. Be blessed!

Podcast Topics

  • Her Life Story
  • How Healed and UnHealed Brokenness Affect Your Work
  • Commnunity’s Work in Healing Brokenness
  • Challenges in Children’s Ministry
  • Benefits of Children’s Ministry
  • Burnout in Children’s Ministry
  • Podcasting
  • Worship
  • Music
  • Fun Questions

Memory Verse

and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up.

Deuteronomy 6:7

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Comfort of Worship

There are times when life is challenging. There is no other way to put it. However, when we spend time alone in worship with the Savior, it changes everything. Enter his wings tonight! Feel his presence surround you as we prepare to enter the weekend. God bless!

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Comfort of Worship

Let me hide in your shadow.

In your wings.

Quite unrattled.

Let me worship in your glory.

Till I make it my own story.

Let me feel your connection.

Through your spirit.

It’s protection.

When the storm seems too much,

Fill my cup.

Need your touch.

Bible Passage to Meditate On:

Psalm 91 King James Version (KJV)

91 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

Similar Poems for Reflection

Abide My Love, Dance with Me

Warmed and Filled