It’s easy to say you’re moving on. It’s not so easy to move forward. Moving forward involves processing trauma. Moving on pretends like the trauma and situations never existed. Listen in to learn how Jacob moved forward. #podcast #healing #cycles #emotional #emotionalbaggage
You wouldn’t want to overdose on medication. But for some reason, you think it’s okay to overdose on people who are not good for your mind, body, soul, and spirit. #freedom #love #relationship Love â¤ï¸ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
When someone else doubts you, it’s one thing. When they can get you to doubt yourself, abilities, and every other person, place, thing, or idea tied to you, that’s another. Listen in. #love #freedom #relationship Love â¤ï¸ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Our Mission, Vision, & Why Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.
When it comes to the behavior of a person with a spirit of narcissism, it feels easier to place the blame on them for every single thing that happens in life. However, there is a part that everyone else plays in the theater production. Triangulation is one of them. Listen in to see where you are taking the bait and exacerbating the problem, and or being a party to abuse by proxy. #narcissist #toxicrelationships #triangulation
It seems easier said than done when it comes to dealing with people and relationships. However, when we know what to look for and how to react in those situations, our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits can be better prepared for attack, and remove ourselves accordingly. DARVO (denial, attack, reverse victim and offender) is no joke. It’s gaslighting on steroids.
If you are not prepared, it will leave you in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. When we choose to use DARVO instead of pressing into the pain, DARVO becomes our default operating system for every point of communication that we have with other people. DARVO means you’re saying “I value darkness over light.” Listen in. #love #narcissist #freedom The Love â¤ï¸ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach
The self-righteous cerebral narcissists in your life are the Pharisees, plain and simple. This bonus episode dives a little deeper into their brokenness, arrogance, and legalism that so many of us tend to miss. As my grandmother used to say, “If it was a snake, it would have bit you.” Listen in to the latest podcast episode. Be blessed! #emotionalhealth #psychology #narcissism #narcissist #selfrighteouscerebralnarcissist #empath #virtuesignaling #control
Sometimes our friends, family, and coworkers may approach us and ask, “ how do you know if a person you are dating or in any other relationship with has good intentions?â€
And that seems like a very difficult question to answer. We’ve come up with all different kinds of secret formulas to make this happen. The bottom line is: we have the Holy Spirit, who is our helper, teacher, counselor, comforter, and indwelling friend. And we often forget that.
And then, along with the Holy Spirit aiding us in testing the spirits of the individuals we interact with on a daily basis, we also have the ability to evaluate fruit. If every time we come in contact with certain individuals, and all they do is slander other people, then we know that the fruit they are bearing would be slanderers.
Pretty soon, we will be slanderers.
It’s kind of like going to the grocery store. It’s rare that we end up purchasing bad fruit on purpose. This usually happens if we are buying fruit by the bag. Four instance, if we are purchasing a bag of apples, oranges, tangerines, etc. It’s hard to see every single piece of fruit in the bag.
And just like with the fruit, haphazardly, placing people with toxic traits in our shopping carts are only going to lead to us having toxic hearts, minds, soul, and spirits. We end up buying fruit by the bag when we join clubs, Bible study groups, Ministries, and Churches where we have no way of knowing that there are a few rotten fruit in the bag until we see these individuals outside of their usual places and spaces.
And sometimes even then, it may take a few years, and extensive healing and growing on our part towards self-actualization before we are really able to assess that these particular individuals have existed in our lives all along for Satan‘s agenda of stealing, killing, and destroying us.
So what is the lesson for us in all of this? Never be in a hurry when you’re shopping for fruit.
A lot of people look at love bombing as just over-the-top affection. This would be a quick glanced assessment. When we dive deeper beneath the surface, and peel away the layers, we are staring at abuse.
Plain and simple.
Love bombing is more of the grooming and priming stage of abuse. Just like using primer so the paint will take on your dark-colored wall, love bombing assures that the devaluation stage of the narcissistic abuse cycle will look good on you. But this is not a laughing matter. Nothing about abuse is funny.
Here is a list of things to look out for so that you don’t find yourself caught up in its web.
Until next time,
Katina
Everyone strives for being educated and empowered. But different words mean different things to different people. Listen 🎧 in to the conversation between Dr. Shali Mukherjee and I as we dissect education, empowerment, toxic relationships, and taking ownership when it comes to healing and emotions. Katina Horton-Valley of Grace Ministries been granted rights and permission by performing artist , Timothy Horton GR8, to use Valley of Grace as its theme song. #educators #education #healing #healingjourney #ownership #empowerment #emotions
I’m Leaving You- The Discard Phase
No one wants to hear these three words. Just because you know that the discard phase is inevitable does not mean that you want someone to say this to you. Not only do these words invoke fear, they bring trauma, abandonment, and rejection along with it. So that you are not caught off guard, I am giving you a list of things to look out for in case you are in the storm of a soul-tied toxic relationship with a narcissistic partner.
Number 1: You disrespect and dishonor yourself to the point of not knowing who you are anymore. Even though he’s leaving you, he is still trying to convince you to sign up for a Biblical concubine situation.
Number 2:Â Everyday your friends keep reminding you about the crazy situation you are living in.
Number 3: You find evidence that he’s bought another computer(woman). This one has a 500-watt power supply.Â
Number 4: He’s doing anything and everything to get you to put him out (reverse discard) so he can avoid responsibility for leaving you and tell everybody that you put him out. If he’s been acting a fool and flaunting his new sidechick, they are NOT going to believe him.
Number 5: You are reminded of the insecurities you disclosed to him in the beginning.
Number 6: He pulls his mask down, telling you different things about himself that he has never told you before. They all lead up to him being a narcissist.
Number 7: He keeps stringing you and the kids along about his final leaving date.
Number 8: He brings all kind of evidence in the house showing that he has new supply, hoping that it will break you down and cause you to put him out.
Number 9: His final farewell is a fake suicide stunt to regain control as he sees that his grip on you is slipping.
Number 10: He calls up some of his family members, letting them know that he’s about to sabotage his living situation, and if it’s decent family members, they are encouraging him not to do it. If not, they will join in and help him destroy you.
Number 11: His new supply calls and leaves sensual messages on his voicemail, knowing that you are going to hear the messages.
Number 12: You find evidence that he is love bombing the new supply in both the same and different ways that he love bombed you: receipts from hotels, dinners, poems, songs, doing her advanced degree homework, blankets in the car, taking movies from your home to watch with her and her children, etc.
Number 13: He tells you that he loves you, but is not in love with you, and still wants to be friends. Basically, he wants you to sign up to be backup supply a.k.a. a hoover maneuver.
Number 14:Â You start seeing instances of spiders, black capes, and all other kinds of spiritual warfare.Â
Remember, you are not fighting against flesh and blood. Like in the devaluation phase, the discard phase involves both a lot of drama and trauma. If you decide to stay until the end, you will need your church community, small groups, and inner circle to walk with you and your kids every step of the way.Â
And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
2 Corinthians 11:14
Until next time,
Katina
