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Episode 113: What’s Behind that Door And More…

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 113: What's Behind that Door And More...
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Do you like surprises? Some people don’t.

I like good surprises. Although to be honest, when good surprises come, sometimes they can be so shocking that it leads you to being an emotional wreck. In this case, good surprises can feel like bad surprises as I experienced a few years ago.

When you listen in to this week’s podcast episode, you will see how surprises come up in the beginning of a relationship. You also get to decide how you will respond when these relationship surprises come up. Or will you respond at all? Part of creating an empowered new chapter of life is using our power of choice. Be blessed!

Until next time,

Katina

Codependency is Real

When you think of the word codependency, it immediately makes you want to think of a person who is in a relationship with an alcoholic. That is what I thought it meant. However, this is a narrow view of the word codependency, and it took a while for me to learn that.

Codependency in basic terms, is an enabler. Codependents enable/assist their spouses, partners, life-giving friends, family members, kids, coworkers, etc. to be irresponsible in whatever area that they are struggling in. This enabling could be in the form of giving money for addictions, arguing back and forth with the person so that they make “their issue” your issue, or ignoring the behavior towards us instead of creating boundaries for how we will live and or function going forward.

Once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, problems will occur. And to be honest, the problems started occurring before this phase was over. You were just so in love, that you ignored them. If you are not strong in your identity, and your partner isn’t being responsible in a certain area, you can slowly fall into the role of taking up the slack.

And just like doing everything your partner wants to do gets played out, so does codependency. How does one get out of this cycle? We will dig in a little deeper in the next post. Be blessed.

Until next time,

Katina

The Relationship Cycle-Entering the Door-Part 2

As we talked about in my last post, it is normal to be apprehensive whenever you start any kind of relationship. You don’t know what’s going to happen when you open that door.

The other thing that is normal is for both parties to be overly concerned with putting on an impression for the other person. We want to be liked. And we want to appear to be agreeable. If one person says, “Let’s go to the movies. What do you want to see? Then, the other person may say, “Whatever you want to see.” Sometimes that is the case. We don’t care about what it is. We just care about having companionship, doing the social thing, having the work-partnership.

Most times, we are people pleasing, seeking to make that big impression, consumed with the other person liking us. No matter what kind of relationship it is, this plays out real fast. You get sick and tired of going along with everything someone else wants to do. The funny thing about this is that we are the ones who initiated it in the first place.

Now, we seek to come out of it. We want to make our voices known and heard. Be who we really are. Creating an empowered new chapter of life involves having emotional, mental, and physical boundaries.

And this is normal and healthy. But what happens next? Find out in my next post.