Dealing With and Recovering From the DARVO METHOD

It seems easier said than done when it comes to dealing with people and relationships. However, when we know what to look for and how to react in those situations, our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits can be better prepared for attack, and remove ourselves accordingly. DARVO (denial, attack, reverse victim and offender) is no joke. It’s gaslighting on steroids.

If you are not prepared, it will leave you in a FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. When we choose to use DARVO instead of pressing into the pain, DARVO becomes our default operating system for every point of communication that we have with other people. DARVO means you’re saying “I value darkness over light.” Listen in. #love #narcissist #freedom The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach

Dealing With and Recovering From the DARVO METHOD

Episode 128: An Interview with Author and TV Personality Kyona Robinson Part 3

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 128: An Interview with Author and TV Personality Kyona Robinson Part 3
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Why is it important to have a vision? How does the struggle as black women compare to the struggle of other women in general? Should you continue to hang out in “Egypt” (old places, ways, & mindsets)? What toxic relationships have you placed a comma in, that the Lord wants to place a period?  Why do we feel the need to copy what other black women, and women in general, are doing?  Why is getting “back to you” important?

If you need a place that is relatable, where you can pull off your masks, be real, dig deep, embrace your hair and skin color, release your emotions, and reveal your true identity and worth as a black woman, then watch Part 3 of this candid interview between Kyona Robinson and me in a new series of The Valley of Grace Podcast entitled, “The Black Woman Experience:  Talking Through Our Stories” to find out the answers to these questions and more.  Be blessed! #kyonarobinson #authors #blackwomen #blackmarriage #blackrelationships #reclaimyourpowerandidentity #youareenough #blacksuperwoman #blackskin #blackhair #blackauthors #theblackwomanstruggle

Podcast Topics

  • Having Vision
  • Coming Out of Your Circumstances
  • Mirroring Other Women
  • Helping the Black Community
#kyonarobinson #authors #blackwomen #blackmarriage #blackrelationships #reclaimyourpowerandidentity #youareenough #blacksuperwoman #blackskin

Kyona Robinson book information:

Her blog :Kyonalrobinson.com

Facebook: Author Kyona L Robinson Facebook

Her instagram : kyonalrobinson

YouTube: Kyona Robinson

Until next Time,

Katina

Episode 125: An Interview with Coach Isabelle Stephenson

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 125: An Interview with Coach Isabelle Stephenson
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Prophetic Word!!! Does it mean it’s too late to dream again if you reclaim your power and identity?  What does coaching have to do with reclaiming your power and identity?  What is the relationship between fear and unhealthy relationships?  Do you need confidence in order to be empowered?  What is the correlation between humility, meekness, and fear?  How is having community an art?  Find out the answers to these questions and more as you listen to the interview between Coach Isabelle Stephenson and me on The Valley of Grace Podcast.  Did you miss the last two interviews with Dr. Alice Koech? Catch them here. Be blessed!

Podcast Topics

  • Isabelle’s Life Story
  • Dreaming: Is it too late?
  • Benefits of Coaching
  • Unhealthy Relationships and Fear
  • Empowerment and Confidence
  • Asking Questions
  • Humility & Meekness
  • Fear
  • Seasons of Relationships

Coach Isabelle Stephenson

Isabelle has put together a special gift for my listeners at the following link:

Freebie from Isabelle: Link

How do I contact Isabelle Stephenson?

I am glad that you asked. Isabelle can be reached in the following locations:

Call or write for a free life coaching consultation #732-331-2246

Isabellestephensoncoach@gmail.com

Follow her on instagram: @lifecoachingwithisabelle

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 124: An Interview with Business Coach Dr. Alice Koech-Part 2

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 124: An Interview with Business Coach Dr. Alice Koech-Part 2
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How does daily affirmations change your thought process? How can you make them a part of your life in general?  How does self-blame and limiting beliefs play a role in not enoughness?  Why can’t women just leave toxic relationships?  What role does forgiveness play in healing?  How does learning help us?  Listen to the second part of the interview with business coach Dr. Alice Koech to find out the answers to these questions and many more. Did you miss part 1? You can catch up on that episode right here.

Dr. Alice Koech

How can you reach Dr. Koech?

@dralicekoechcoaching-Instagram

www.drallicekoech.com-Website

alice.koech-Facebook

Podcast Topics

  • Daily Affrimations
  • Self-blame
  • Limiting Beliefs
  • Forgiveness and Healing
  • Should I keep learning?
  • Killing Not enoughness.

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 122: Interview with Courtney Nalin Part 2

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 122: Interview with Courtney Nalin Part 2
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I hope you enjoyed listening to Part 1 of the conversation between EMS, Coach, & Podcast Host of Imperfectly Pollyanna, Courtney Nalin and I. Today, I have released Part 2. Sometimes you may wonder what role faith in yourself plays in knowing you are enough. Believe it or not, it plays a huge part. It is the determining factor of whether you will continue to go into the crazy cycles of not being good enough, or yield your life and will to God and realize that you have already been prequalified.

Listen to part 2 of the conversation between Courtney and I as she dissects this very topic, and so much more. She goes deep, and that’s what we need to do when it comes to reclaiming our power and identity. Staying on the surface doesn’t yield the end result. Be blessed on this Sunday evening!

Podcast Topics:

  • Is God looking for perfection?
  • Fath in Ourselves
  • Hot Mess Express
  • Gratitude Journal
  • Reclaim your Power & Identity
  • Using Struggles as Stepping Stones
  • Validation from the World
  • Staying on the Mountain
  • EVEN If
  • Let God be God
  • Fix-it Mode
  • God-ordained friendships

Until next time,

Katina

Love-Bombed!

Ok, so you know that it is normal to crave relationship. You also know that it is normal to enter a new relationship. Knowing these two, one might wonder, then what is the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship?

There are several differences between the two. In this post, I will discuss the first difference in detail. When you enter an unhealthy relationship, you are immediately “love-bombed.” Love-bombed means you are swept off your feet and over-the-top lavished on. It feels too good to be true. You are given flowers, poetry, words of affirmation, opened doors, lots of teddy bears, gifts, candy, etc.

Everybody knows about you. As a matter of fact, they seem to know more about you than you know about you.

Although this may seem natural, and nothing that should raise concern, it is. You just don’t know that yet. But by the next part you will. What seems to feel good; “this is my trophy, my woman, my display” show soon turns into you feeling like something is off. And not just a little bit. Something feels terribly off. An emotion starts creeping up that you are familiar with, but you can’t place it.

That emotion is shame. You are bathing in it. Next thing you know, you are in the Garden of Eden, and covering yourself with leaves. But why?

That is the all-encompassing question. We will answer that one in the next post. In case you missed the last post, catch up with Enmeshed Here.

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 119: An lnterview with Bestselling Author & Speaker Cherlyn Decker Part 2

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 119: An lnterview with Bestselling Author & Speaker Cherlyn Decker Part 2
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Sometimes the hardest part about creating an empowered new chapter of life is trusting God with each and every step. And part of trusting God involves learning to hear God’s voice, and then discerning the direction that he has for your life. Community is so important as you embark on your journey of reclaiming your power and identity. However, we also need discernment in knowing what advice we should and should not take. What does trust look like for you? Listen to Part 2 of my conversation with Cherlyn Decker to find out her stance on these issues.

Podcast Topics Outline Episode 119: An lnterview with Bestselling Author & Speaker Cherlyn Decker Part 2

  • Trusting God
  • Know the End
  • Community
  • What to Say
  • What to Do
  • Is God Enough
  • What Does Trust Look Like?
  • What Does Discernment Look Like?

Follow Cherlyn:

Special Treat here for my listeners from Cherlyn: https://www.cherlyndecker.com/valleyofgrace

Book: www.roarbackbook.com

Website: https://www.cherlyndecker.com/

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 117: Healing is a Choice: An Interview with Jennifer Ramirez-Part 3

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 117: Healing is a Choice: An Interview with Jennifer Ramirez-Part 3
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Do you want to get to the good stuff?  I know I do.  We want a magic pill for everything. Forget about the healing and the pain.  Later for that.  It sounds like the perfect plan. However, if your plan is to go from where you are now, to where you want to be, skipping over the pain will only take you back to where you are now. It may seem counterintuitive. However, the only way to the other side is through.  As Jennifer put it in this episode: “Healing is a choice.”  Creating an empowered new chapter of life requires healing from past hurts.  And when you are healed, you gain resilience and perspective that you couldn’t have gained otherwise.  Listen to the last part of this series between Jennifer and I as we dissect healing, our need for instant gratification, not enoughness and so much more.

Podcast Outline

  • Healing
  • Choices
  • Resilience
  • Flourishing
  • Instant Gratification
  • Not Enoughness
  • Fun Things about Jennifer

Until next time,

Katina

Codependency Is Real-Part Three

No matter what situation it is, the hardest part about taking on any task when it comes to self-growth and self development is dealing with you. It feels better to hold up the mirror to everybody else? It makes us feel like we are better somehow.

But guess what? Paying attention to what everybody else is doing is a blinder for minding your own business and digging deeper into our own pile of junk.

When you are playing the role of a codependent, you don’t have time to check in with yourself to see what’s really going on. Your focus is on saving the other person. As mentioned in the last post, codependents stay in the state they are in number one, because of fear, and then number two: insecurities.

“The common areas of insecurities and or brokenness are low self-esteem, low self-worth, poor body image, and not enoughness. Codependents cover up these areas by becoming the Savior of the day in their spouse’s, coworker’s, friend’s, or ministry partner’s life. So, even when you have the come to Jesus moment and stop doing things for the other person, if you don’t take the time to do the self-work, you will be right back to wearing your cape as Savior of the day, and playing Jesus.

Frustration is the catalyst for change. However, that is only if the desire and hard work required to be a better version of you outweighs the pain of staying in the comfort zone of where you are now. “

Katina Horton

Creating an empowered new chapter of life involves healing from past hurts. And in turn, healing from past hurts helps us to gain resilience and perspective. In our next post, I will discuss the dangers of enmeshment.

Episode 115: Interview with Founder & Executive Director of &Rise Jennifer Ramirez-Part 1

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 115: Interview with Founder & Executive Director of &Rise Jennifer Ramirez-Part 1
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Have you ever said the following: “Why am I finding myself in the same situation? I need a new man, a new job, and a new house.”? If that sounds like you, then listen to this episode between Jennifer and I as we unpack some of the things that are holding us back. And the answer is not what you think.

Interview with Jennifer Ramirez Podcast Topics:

Stay tuned for Part 2. Interview with Founder & Executive Director of &Rise Jennifer Ramirez

In the meantime, check out Jennifer Ramirez’s website so that you are familiar with all of the services that she has to offer.

Until next time,

Katina Horton