Healing From Narcissistic Abuse-The Art of Self-Care


One of the hardest things to do after being in a narcissistic or any other kind of toxic relationship is to practice self-care. Self-care is an art. Not a science.

At first, the temptation can be to write out a list of different things that must be done for self-care to take place. There is no right or wrong way. However, a must-follow list will only have you focusing on rigidity. Self-care shouldn’t be painstaking.


The common things that we think of when it comes to self-care is polishing our nails, going to the spa, shampooing our hair, etc. All these things are part of self-care. However, when you think of self-care in terms of caring for your mind, body, and soul (mind, will, and emotions), the things that you do to enforce self-care will become more of a holistic and natural approach rather than one that is forced.

One thing that helps to reinforce a natural approach is to journal, asking your mind, body, and soul, “What do you need today?”

Narcissistic relationships drain all your resources and energy on every level. This was your norm and has to be unlearned. And as with any other habit, releasing one habit means replacing it with another.

The Challenge

Developing principles of self-care for yourself, and then other care for your children, extended family, and other important relationships in your life will be the driving force for helping you to move forward.

Once you know what these principles will look like, then you can establish boundaries around these principles for yourself and others. For years you have conditioned yourself to placing yourself at the bottom of the list. After your partner. After your children. And after everyone else. And in some instances, not at all.

Self-Care as Self-Love

Self-care is part of self-love. And self-love is part of the practice of developing an intimate relationship with yourself by becoming self-aware of who you are as a person, where you are as a person, and where it is you are going, along with where you want to be.

You are already enough. You do not have to wear yourself down and ignore your self in order to please others and gain approval from others. Grab your keys to the kingdom and get your inheritance.

Use These 4 Tips — That Aren’t Diet or Fitness Related — to Feel Healthier in 2021

Happy Monday all! Today, I am featuring a guest blog post from a fellow blogger. His name is Gabriel Patel. He enjoys writing about health and wellness, and co-founded Health Well Wise with a group of friends who share the desire to help people live happy, healthy lives. Have a blessed rest of your Monday.

Use These 4 Tips — That Aren’t Diet or Fitness Related — to Feel Healthier in 2021

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(Photo via Pexels)


As the tumultuous year that was 2020 draws to a close, people around the globe are looking to 2021 as a much-needed fresh start. Like the beginning of any year, people will undoubtedly set goals to reach their full potential at work, in relationships, and especially with their health.

In fact, according to YouGov, 50% of individuals who set New Year’s resolutions at the end of 2019 said that they wanted to exercise more, 43% wanted to eat healthier, and 37% wanted to lose weight. Most of the time, a heavy emphasis is placed on physical health resolutions rather than overall well-being.

If your goal for 2021 is to improve every facet of your health, explore the following four research-backed wellness tips from Valley of Grace to help you feel healthier in the New Year.


Over the last few years, meditation and mindfulness have earned serious accolades in the scientific community. According to The Harvard Gazette, meditation has been shown to improve a wide array of physical and mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and irritable bowel syndrome. It has also been proven effective in reducing stress, enhancing body image, and improving cognition.

To take full advantage of the benefits of mindfulness and meditation, it is best to start with guided meditations. Beginner meditations can be found on various apps and on YouTube. It also doesn’t take long to feel the full range of benefits. By practicing for only 10-20 minutes per day, you’ll be on your way to feeling peaceful and healthier.

Turn your home into a stress-free zone

Research has revealed that your home and work environment can play a significant role in your overall mood and wellbeing. Although you likely won’t be able to change much about your work environment, you can make positive changes within your home.

To turn your living space into a stress-free zone, start adding elements that make each room feel fresh and vibrant. You can do this by regularly opening windows, eliminating messes and clutter, and by displaying items that bring you joy. This simple goal can help both you and your family argue less, interact more, and feel at ease while at home.

Set a weekly self-care routine

While it may just sound like a fun way to pamper yourself, self-care is now being backed more than ever before by psychologists and other medical professionals. When practiced routinely, those who have a self-care ritual can expect to experience decreased anxiety, improved self-confidence, lower stress levels, and higher productivity.

A self-care activity is anything that promotes your physical and spiritual well-being. This could include journaling, quality time with your partner, getting plenty of sleep, and praying.

Take more deep breaths

If you are like most people, you probably take breathing for granted. It isn’t often that a person stops in the middle of their workday to appreciate their body’s ability to inhale and exhale. In addition to keeping you alive, each breath has the power to positively affect your health.

Proper breathing techniques have been shown to calm insomnia and anxiety and to lower cortisol levels. To begin deep breathing as a practice, schedule times in your day to sit in a quiet spot and use your favorite guided breathing techniques.

What’s even better about using the tips listed above is that they don’t require a significant time commitment. Simply finding 10 minutes for daily meditation, or 5 minutes for deep breathing, can have a surprising effect on your emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. In conjunction with a healthy diet and a solid fitness routine, these habits can put you on the fast track to feeling your best in 2021.


There is an art involving in breathing. To breathe is to let go, release the stress, and give your mind time to reflect on what your mind, body, and soul tells you. This poem does just that. It helps you to stop and focus on what breathing does for you along with helping you gain a better perspective.


When anxiety threatens you.


When the news envelopes you.


When you’re not sure of the outcome.


With the Gift of His Only Son.


Missing the Message

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Photo by Patchanu Noree

Topic Questions For Discussion:

When did you find yourself “missing the message” because you were in a rush? How did it make you feel? What happens when you slow down so that you can take in what seems to be the smallest of moments? These missed messages can be God’s time with us if we allow him the opportunity.

God bless!


missing the message, video, katina horton, blog, podcaster, simple functional grace-filled living, valley of grace, rushing, anxiety, pausing, self-care
Photo by Patchanu Noree