That Beautiful Case

The Appearance

I want to tell you the story of that beautiful case that I saw.

When my son was about 8 years old, I bought all the various computer parts to build him a desktop.  I decided upon a royal blue clear case.  These cases were all the rave at the time.  You could see all the internal parts, and lights, etc.  I knew at his age he would think this was cool. 

Emotional health, mental health, That beautiful case, Healing, scars, wounds, broken relationships, unhealthy relationship patterns
Photo from Shopify

The Struggle

The Manufacture of the case boasted “no white-gloves” needed.  Wow!  This was great.  So I thought.  The case should open with no problem.  He was going to be jamming with this cool case.  I pressed and pulled, huffed and puffed to get this case open.  Nothing.  Used tools ⚒️. Nothing. Finally, after getting my adrenaline going at full speed, I got the case to open.  I was worn out. 

The Truth

What they said, and the truth were two different things.  After sitting there for a few minutes, I felt weird.  Like really weird.  I looked down at my hand, and the case had cut a chunk of the inside of my thumb off.  Looking at it made me nauseous and light-headed.  I went down to the kitchen to take care of it.  The kids saw “that Look” on my face, as they call it, and they asked me what happened.  I told them, and they were shocked. 

The Healing

I decided to wrap the wound and bandage it up after using peroxide and Neosporin.  My thumb only has a little bit of discoloration now.  You can hardly tell how badly I got injured.  It’s just a scar.  Just so you know, I sent the case back and got another one instead.

Our Case

Some of you saw that one person’s profile.  It looked good on paper.  As a matter of fact, it sounded good.  But, once you opened the package, you were in for a big surprise.  You were cut so deep, that it left you wounded and bleeding out on everything and everyone. 

Our Reaction

But, for some reason, you are still holding on to that case, without digging deeper into the how’s, why’s , etc.  This person(case), will determine how you select all the others (friends, jobs, partners in ministry, etc.) until you deal with the wounds. 

You don’t have to keep bleeding out on everyone.  You can begin to dissect your cycle of unhealthy relationship patterns.  Even better, you can get bandaged up ⬆️in the process.  The question is:  When will you make that choice?

Are you saying to yourself, “I’m sick and tired of being stuck in one unhealthy relationship after the next. Life should be better than this. This does not look like the abundant life that Christ promised us!” Then this course is for you. It walks you through the process step by step to getting out of the revolving door of stuckness, and into the door of abundant living. But when are you going to open the door? Are you waiting for your friend or someone else to open it for you? That’s what the Course Broken Pieces is all about. It walks you through with personalized videos, getting you to the heart of the matter. ****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.


#christianlifecoach#christiancoach#relationshipgoals#breakingthecycle#frombrokenrelationshipstoresilienceandflourishing#resilience#scars#wounds#katinahorton#christianauthor#ithoughtihadagoodcase#christianpodcaster#coach#christianspeaker

Jiselle Alleyne-Clement’s Interview

Episode 103: An Interview with Jiselle Alleyne-Clement

jiselle alleyne-clement, empowering women, healing our brokenness podcast episode 104, resilience, brokenness, community
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 103: An Interview with Jiselle Alleyne-Clement
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A couple of weeks ago, I had a chance to do an interview with Jiselle Alleyne-Clement. We got a chance to learn about each other, and more importantly, we saw how God moved in the midst of that interview. In case you missed the last podcast episode, you can catch up here. Here is Jiselle’s bio:

jiselle alleyne-clement, empowering women, healing our brokenness podcast episode 104, resilience, brokenness, community
Jiselle Alleyne-Clement

Part 1

Jiselle Alleyne-Clement is a professional of many hats. She is an Academic Librarian,
Educator and Researcher. She received her MLIS in Library Science from Dalhousie
University, Canada. She also holds an MA in Leadership Studies from the University of
Guelph, Canada and is currently reading for her PhD in Gender Studies at the
University of the West Indies with focus on Female Leadership Development in
Caribbean Organizations.

Part 2


Jiselle is the lead Empowerment Speaker, Vision Coach and Mentor, through her
consultancy, ‘Pearls of Great Price Empowerment Services’; a consultancy
developed for women.

  • The empowerment programmes offered through her consultancy are geared to help women manage the transitions in their lives and will treat with topics such as, but not limited to:
  • Transition Management
  • Moving from Potential to Success
  • Tools for Reinventing yourself in the Marketplace
  • Establishing Healthy and Productive (She)Team Cultures
  • Continuous Learning
  • (She) Leadership Development


Jiselle believes that every woman must be given access to this type of development
where they can in turn LEAD within her sphere of influence. This can be done through:

  • Providing women with access to female leaders and mentors
  • Creating leadership opportunities for the women within the society
  • Helping women transition seamlessly and envision and create social change

Follow the Pearls of Wisdom Podcast. And here as well.

Podcast Topics

  • Podcasting
  • Roadblocks to Podcasting
  • Podcasting versus Writing
  • Inspiration for Podcasts
  • Unhealed and Healed Brokenness
  • Resilience
  • Flourishing
  • Home
  • Podcasting Themes
  • Fun Facts
  • Community

Be Blessed!

Katina

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Are you saying to yourself, “I’m sick and tired of being stuck in one unhealthy relationship after the next. Life should be better than this. This does not look like the abundant life that Christ promised us!” Then this course is for you. It walks you through the process step by step to getting out of the revolving door of stuckness, and into the door of abundant living. But when are you going to open the door? Are you waiting for your friend or someone else to open it for you? That’s what the Course Broken Pieces is all about. It walks you through with personalized videos, getting you to the heart of the matter. ****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

The Sun and Its Effect on Trauma

sun, emotional health, psychology, valley of grace, trauma, ptsd, emotional health, mental health, healing, from broken relatinships to resilience and flourishing

Part 1: The Sun and Its Effect on Trauma

When we think of the sun, we automatically think of its natural ability to provide us with Vitamin D. And boy does it make a difference when it is out as opposed to when it’s not, especially when we are talking about a day like today in the Midwest where it is super windy. Have you ever stopped to think about the sun and its effect on trauma? If not, and you think you are alone, think again. I hadn’t given it that much thought until about eight years ago to be exact.

sun, emotional health, psychology, valley of grace, trauma, ptsd, emotional health, mental health, healing, from broken relatinships to resilience and flourishing
The Sun And Its Effect on Trauma-Photo by Tomas Hustoles at Burst by Shopify

After having a series of events that led to compounded trauma, I started noticing that the sun has a tremendous effect on how I am feeling once the seasons are nearing a significant change. It is so much so, that it can be disorienting. The sun itself is the main trigger, but surprisingly, what goes along with it is the manner and angle at which it is shining, etc. that makes it a trigger.

Part 2-The Sun and Its Effect on Trauma

For example, two weeks of last month was a challenge for me when the sun came out. Thankfully, I had my toolbox available and ready. As I sat at the table taking notes for my class, I observed how beautifully the sun was shining through the kitchen window. I also noticed that my body was having a reaction to it. The birds were singing their tune, and it sounded so pretty, yet something seemed off.

I knew that being still long enough would give me the answer. While listening to the teacher, I reminded myself, “This is a trauma trigger. The source of the sun causing havoc will soon be revealed.” And in no time it did. My mind went back to something that happened literally twenty-four years ago, on my birthday, when I had to rush and leave work because I thought I was having a heart attack, only to find out a few months later. Along with this revelation came the feelings along with it, as I sat there at the table.

Part 3-The Sun and Its Effect on Trauma

I allowed myself to feel the loneliness that I felt back then, allowing myself to remember it, and the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual toll that it took on my health; but then also reminding myself that it happened in the past. I could lean in, discover the origin, feel it, and then process, and move on with my day.

In the comments down below, would love to know if you have noticed how the sun and its presence triggers your trauma. If so, how were you able to get yourself back to a point of resiliency?

Thanks and be blessed y’all.

Katina

The Danger of Burnout

Black Bean Penne Pasta with Tomatoes

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Are you saying to yourself, “I’m sick and tired of being in this state of languishing!” , but you are confused about how to get out? You need someone to walk you through the process, step by step. That’s what the course Broken Pieces is all about. This course walks you through with personalized videos, getting you to the heart of the matter. ****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Episode 100: The Danger of Burnout

resilience, episode 100, the danger of burnout, compounded trauma, rest, workaholic, podcasting community, podcasters, lifestyle, broken relatinships, brokenness, flourishing, psychology
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 100: The Danger of Burnout
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Have you ever been tired? And not just tired, but more like exhausted? And on every level? Did you know that emotional exhaustion can lead to burnout?

Burnout isn’t something that comes out of the blue. It is a slow process that has been happening over time. Catching it and being proactive about dealing with the symptoms helps to build up resiliency, giving you a collection of tools that you can used in case the problem resurfaces. We are not God where we know what can tip us over the edge. However, we can get to know ourselves better so that we can know our limitations, and prevent the entire process itself from unraveling. For the podcast on the Gift of Limitations, you can check that out here. If you missed the last podcast interview with podcast host and ministry of music Christen Clark, you can catch up on that here.

resilience, episode 100, the danger of burnout, compounded trauma, rest, workaholic, podcasting community, podcasters, lifestyle, broken relatinships, brokenness, flourishing, psychology

Podcast Topics

  • My Emotional Exhaustion
  • Elijah’s Emotional Exhaustion
  • What Are You Noticing About Yourself?
  • Solutions for Dealing With Burnout

Scripture Reading to Focus on:

1 Kings 19

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Are you saying to yourself, “I’m sick and tired of being in this state of languishing!” , but you are confused about how to get out? You need someone to walk you through the process, step by step. That’s what the course Broken Pieces is all about. This course walks you through with personalized videos, getting you to the heart of the matter. ****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Podcast Transcription

Part 1A

Speaker 0 00:00:11
Speaker 1 00:00:55 This is the Healing Our Brokenness podcast where we dissect problems and solutions that exist among broken people, living in a broken world. And we also believe here at healing our brokenness podcast, that we are going from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing.

Have you ever been tired? Not just tired, but more like exhausted and on every level, did you know that emotional exhaustion can actually lead to burnout and burnout Isn’t something that just comes up out of the blue? It’s a slow process. That’s been happening over time, catching it and being proactive about dealing with the symptoms helps to build up the resiliency.

And it gives us a collection of tools in our toolbox that we can use in case the problem resurfaces. Again, we’re not God, and we cannot know every single time what’s going to tip us over the edge. However, we can get to know ourselves better so that we can know our limitations and we can prevent the entire process from unraveling like a domino effect.

Part1B


Speaker 1 00:02:22 For further explanation on limitations, the podcast called the gift of limitations, would be a great resource. And that one goes into more detail on being able to understand our limitations and to respect them.

It was about four years ago, I guess I would say really five. When I think about it from the period of 2016 to 2018, I had maybe four episodes of being emotionally exhausted. And, these episodes occurred because of a combination of compounded trauma, my own trauma, my kids’ trauma, supporting them, the trials I was going through at the time, etc. A lot of it being financial.

And what happened was, there were several nights in a row where I had not slept well, and when I say not sleeping well, two to three hours of sleep, four nights in a row. And I knew by night number three, I had basically maxed out.

I looked like I was depressed. And when my daughter saw me, she said, are you okay mom? And I said, yeah, why not? You ask? She said, Oh, you just look like you lost your best friend. And so I went and looked in the mirror and I was like, Oh wow, I look a hot mess. Even when my son came in the door, he said, man, you look jacked up.

” Oh, thank you.” And I laughed it off, but I really was not in a good state at all. Yes, grief had gotten backed up. And so between the grief and the insomnia together, it was just a bad mix. It was straight from the pit of hell, literally. And so we all know that when we don’t get enough sleep, it ripples down to other things, it can lead us to be more emotional.

Part two


Speaker 1 00:04:30 And then on the other hand, when we’re more emotional and we have all of this stuff built up in our system, particularly grief that can also lead to sleepless nights because once we max out, our bodies are going, “we’re done”. We’re not going any further until I get enough of it out and then you can rest. And so that’s exactly what was happening too. I mean, just emotional exhaustion.

It did not lead to burnout, but yeah, could have had I not paid attention to my body and kept going due to all of those issues that I was dealing with at that time. And a lot, the people that I’ve heard speak on burnout, particularly ministers have mentioned about the spirit of cynicism coming in when burnout is approaching. A friend of theirs noticed and mentioned something to them about them getting depressed about some of the things that they would normally do.

Part Three


Speaker 1 00:05:30 They were not satisfied with anything. They found themselves feeling unfulfilled and just being cynical about everything being the beginning of it, along with the emotional exhaustion and the inability to rest. What I did when I felt the extreme emotional exhaustion coming on is this: I followed through the script, the one that Elijah did, basically, just to be honest with you.

Because of all of that in my soul and the despair and fear set in, I rested, poured into scripture, Bible studies, podcasts, sermon messages, music nonstop all day long for several days in a row to help me get back up. And even though I eat healthy, I made sure I ate extra healthy, and doubled and tripled up on teas those days. I was able to get back up within a few days and I was just like myself again. And with Elijah, he had been in battle.

Part Four


Speaker 1 00:06:37 He had gone through miracles. He performed all these miracles, killed all of these false prophets and had just run and run and run and run. So he ran himself out. So he finally sat down. It was like, ah, and he finally realized that, I guess I would say, realized the state that he was in. And then that’s when his soul expressed the despair, “Oh,, God I’m ready to die!”

And that’s how I knew I was not myself because inside I was like, “Oh, this is horrible! I can’t take it any more!” And it’s like, it’s one thing to be angry or bitter or resentful about something. Those are different emotions/feelings. So I knew something was off. And with Elijah, God told him to eat, eat, and then sleep and rest and then eat and then sleep again because he was going to need to be rested up for his journey.


Speaker 1 00:07:37 And sometimes we want to just do a quick fix and go on. And sometimes it is a quick fix, but sometimes it’s not. And, we have to give ourselves grace those types of situations. The way the Holy spirit works is really something else. Because after I dealt with this, might’ve been no time after emotional exhaustion occurrence number two, I saw someone else. And as soon as I looked at their face, I knew what that particular person was going through. And like I had the screaming voice inside, their outer voice said,” Oh, this is happening again!”

Part Five

They were filled with despair. And I responded, “you know what? Rest for about two weeks. And then we’ll talk. ” I had to set that boundary. I knew how I was in that condition. It would not do me any good to try to reason with someone who’s in that state, the state I had already been through and knowing what the end result was of being in that state. And I did empathize. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I hope you feel better, but this is when we can talk.

And so, when we’re not sitting still long enough, outside of having emotional exhaustion, giving ourselves margin, we don’t have the capacity to tell something is off, to know our limits, to question what is going on inside our souls. We just keep pushing till we can’t push anymore. Then Burnout!

Speaker 0 00:09:14 Sometimes we need someone else to notice like I did with my friend. Just saying, “You know what? You don’t look so well. And so in that case,

Part Six


Speaker 1 00:09:28 Listen to what they say. That’s when we know we have to set up boundaries and we have to take preventative measures for the sake of our own wellbeing. Resiliency happens when we are resting on a regular basis as part of our rhythms. If we are not giving ourselves margin, saying yes to everything that everybody asks us to do, not saturating ourselves in God’s word we will max out. Computer networks only have a certain bandwidth. So do we. In different seasons, different trials, and different ages and stages.


Speaker 1 00:10:08 Our abilities and goals and responsibilities can change off and on. They can change from one day to the next. We just never know.
what could be the tipping point, but we want to be able to bounce back with resiliency, and that way, each time emotional exhaustion hits, it will be less intense.


Speaker 1 00:10:20 Your brain and body will thank you and say, “I know what to do. Been there. Done that.” After healing, If we get stuck in, “Man. I can’t believe that happened. Oh my goodness. I can not believe that happened”, we could just sit in that forever. Kind of like when I would wake up late for work. And I’m just like 20 minutes in the bed because I am stuck in “I can’t believe that this happened. “

Finally, I snap myself out of it by saying, “Ok Tina, you overslept. Now what?” Then, I get up and get moving.
Speaker 1 00:11:16 With our souls will be joyous and glad that we did that. And so, God gave Elijah his next steps when Elijah came out of his near burnout, it was like, “okay, what do I do now?” And God was like, “you appoint this person. You appoint that person. You appoint this person.” Basically Elijah was not going to be doing all those things on his own anymore.

Part Seven

And a lot of times we get to the point that we get to because we’re trying to do too much and try to do too much on our own. So we can either take three days of rest or two weeks of rest to bounce back and become resilient, or we can take the whole year off. And the end of the day, it is up to us how we want to take care of ourselves and how we want to continue to flourish in our relationships. I am so preaching to myself right now. I promise you.


Speaker 1 00:12:09 Whether it’s at home, church, work, in ministry, wherever it is that we’re doing, we want to be able to continue to flourish. We want to be able to continue being resilient with self-care, yielding, and resting in God is part of that resiliency, those are parts of the formula. And we cannot leave that out. So I hope something said resonated with you. And I just want to thank you so much for listening in to every episode. I’m at one hundred episodes.

This is number 100 episode and I praise and thank God. I’m kind of in shock. You know, I know that it’s been a road getting here, but still the fact that it’s the 100th episode. I praise and thank God! And I also want to give a shout out to Timothy Horton for bringing the intro and outro music to us every week.

Speaker 1 00:13:03 And that song is entitled Valley of Grace. And it can be found wherever music is sold. Healing Our Brokenness podcast is on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, and on Amazon music, etc. So if this is blessing your life in any kind of shape, form or fashion, if you could please give a shout out to your friends, your neighbors, your family members, and ask them to follow us.

Until Next time.
Valley of Grace music.
Speaker 0 00:14:03 , .

Episode 99: Broken Relationships, Resilience, and The Danger of Validation

healing our brokenness podcast, episode 99, approval addiction, validation addiction, Moses, coping mechanisms, burnout, satisfaction, needing a guide, listening to others, taking advice, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 99: Broken Relationships, Resilience, and The Danger of Validation
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Would you consider yourself the kind of person that goes in and out of relationships? Are you the cause, or would you say it’s the other person? If it is the other person, why is it that you find yourself staying in the relationship? What need is the relationship providing? Perhaps it’s validation. And if it is, the need for validation can easily lead to burnout. Ask Moses. Find out about this and more when you listen to this week’s episode: Broken Relationships, Resilience, and The Danger of Validation.

healing our brokenness podcast, episode 99, approval addiction, validation addiction, Moses, coping mechanisms, burnout, satisfaction, needing a guide, listening to others, taking advice, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health

Topics

  • Broken Relationships
  • Resilience
  • The Danger of Validation
  • Why are people leaving?
  • Why are you leaving?
  • Are people tired of you?
  • How the Need for Validation leads to Burnout
  • How Margin and Stillness Helps with resilience

An Interview with Eston Swaby

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Podcast Transcription

Speaker 0 00:00:17 Music plays. Valley of Grace
Speaker 1 00:01:17 Welcome to the Healing Our Brokenness podcast where we dissect problems and solutions that exists among broken people, living in a broken world. And we also believe here at Healing our brokenness, that we’re going from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing. Today’s episode is episode number 99. And the title of this episode is broken relationships, resilience, flourishing, and the dangers of validation.

Now, when it comes to relationships, it takes a while to get to know people. And then after that, we have the time period, of getting to know them. We can pretty much tell if that person is going to work out for us. And this is whether it’s a romantic relationship or it could be a friendship or all of the above. And so, sometimes we get to the point where we are staying in our relationships too long and, they could be for a variety of reasons.


Speaker 1 00:02:45 And one of the reasons that we can stay in relationships too long would be simply just being in denial. We see the writing on the wall, so to speak and we are still trying to make a go out of it. Either the person is not treating us, right, or we’re not able to meet their needs, and there are consistent patterns of inconsistency.

For whatever reason, it’s not working out, and we are refusing to accept reality for the way that it is. So a lot of times we will stay in broken relationships longer than we really need to be doing. Another reason why we may stay in relationships would be for the simple fact of it fulfilling a need that we have. So we know that the relationship is not good.


Speaker 1 00:03:53 We know that this person is not good for us. They had not bringing out the best in who we are as individuals, not helping to bring out holiness in us. They are not helping us to bring out the qualities in us that, would basically help to elevate us in our calling in our worship of God and our walk with God. But we are in every toxic/incompatible relationship because we have woundedness inside.

And what is happening is we are having a need being met through that particular individual. And that’s why we are staying in something that we should no longer be in, indication of woundedness that has not been taken care of. But we are blinded to seeing that because we are addicted to having that need met at all costs.
Speaker 1 00:04:55 So either we are being a savior to someone enabling them in areas of their irresponsibility or it’s something within us that is satisfying us.

That’s keeping us in that relationship. And sometimes it takes someone on the outside to come in to say, Hey, I noticed, you know, you keep telling me about the same thing where I notice you keep doing the same thing in response, or to initiate. Is there something else going on here that you want to talk about ? And so today I want to talk about Moses, who got to the point where he was standing and being judge over the people from morning, all the way till night. And we all know that if we’re doing something from early in the morning, all the way to night, nighttime, eventually that’s going to lead to burn out is definitely not going to help us to be resilient individuals.


Speaker 1 00:06:04 Because if you’re trying to develop a resilience emotionally, mentally, and physically, we have to have boundaries in place according to when we know our energy levels are at their best. And so what he was doing by wearing himself out, standing there and advising the people, he was not allowing himself time alone with God , to get his overflow so that he was be able to overflow and pour out to the people, but his need was being validated. He needed to have that approval. And that’s why he was in it so long. And I’m quite sure he was tired himself, but that need, that inner turmoil that was inside of him, that woundedness of having been rejected as a baby, those seeds and a spirit of rejection was already sewn into him.


Speaker 1 00:07:12 He also didn’t feel in place where he was because he knew that he was not an Egyptian. And it happens sometimes like this with people who are trying to get their identities and ethnicities figured out where, if they’re the child of parents, of two different races or ethnic groups, and sometimes they don’t feel at home in one group. And sometimes they don’t feel at home in another group and them trying to reconcile all of this. So Moses was having some issues with that need for approval and validation from these people, just from people in general.

And so their need to seek help and want guidance and want to judge over them was actually feeding into this need for him. So that means he was getting approval all day long from morning to night. And that could not have been good for his inner ego. And when we are in situations like that, it is so good that we have an inner circle. We have a support group or both. We have friends that see what’s going on, or either hear from what we’re telling them. And they’re coming to us and saying, you know what?


Speaker 1 00:08:43 I don’t think that’s good. Do you mind if I talk to you? You know, if we go out for coffee and we talk and this and that, the other, you know, I’ve been listening to you, and I feel like there are some missing pieces. Tell me about the situation.

One of the things about Moses, as far as trying to develop resilience, is that his body needed to rest, poured into, with the word of God, developing emotion intelligence, and to have emotional intelligence, you have to be able to be developing emotion skills. Because when you are talking to people all day long from morning to night, and you’re not taking a break to rejuvenate yourself, their issues end up weighing down in your spirit and soul.


Speaker 1 00:09:41 And so what happens though, we’re wounded and broken and that area needed validation and approval. We don’t even have time to think about that. We just try to fulfill that or whatever needs, which has to be addressed, or the cycle keeps continuing. Thank the Lord for Moses’s situation that he listened to his father-in-law. And this is what it says in the scripture. I’m going to read it for you guys. When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, right?

What is this you are doing for the people? Why all these people stand around you from morning. So evening, Moses answered him because the people come to seek God’s will, whenever they have it, dispute is brought to me. And I decide between the parties and informed them of God’s decrees and laws. Moses’s father-in-law replied.
Speaker 1 00:10:41 What you are doing is not good. You people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too hard. You can not handle it alone.

Listen now to me, and I’ll give you some advice and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him, teach them. .. select capable, men, from men who fear God, trustworthy, men, who hate dishonest gain and appoint them officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties, have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you. The simple cases they can decide themselves that will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this God so commands, you would able to stand the strength and all of these people will go home satisfied.


Speaker 1 00:11:53 Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything. He chose capable men and made them leaders of the people, officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. They served as judges for the people at all times the difficult cases they brought to Moses, but the simple ones, they decided themselves. So like I said before, praise the Lord that Moses listened to his father-in-law.

And that was the beginning of ability to be able to be resilient is that he was able to take advice. His father-in-law served as a guide for him. And when we are going through our trials and tribulations, and our stories, we need someone to serve as a guide for us. This is what, his father-in-law DID for him. And that gave him space to be still, have that margin of space and time with God, to be able to deal with his own wounded business of validation.


Speaker 1 00:13:03 Because what happens is if we do not deal with that woundedness, then what happens is we’re always depending on other people to validate us, we’re always dependent upon other people to help us to feel worthy.

We’ll always dependent upon other people to help us to feel that approval when the only one that could give it to us, and that will fill us up is God. And every time we feel like, you know, we have arrived at a certain level of healing, there might still be times where every blue moon, that brokenness area will come up, we can say, dear Jesus! God help me! You have already validated me with your son’s death on the cross, I am worthy. I am valued, redeemed, the righteousness of God in Christ. I do not need anyone else’s validation to approve I’m yours Lord.


Speaker 1 00:13:51 So it’s not saying we’re not gonna continue to struggle. It won’t control us as it was doing with Moses. But as I said, thank God. He listened in the cases where we don’t listen. And we continue in what we’re doing that after a while, people will get tired of us. We’re human beings.

We’re not God. And they’ll say, you know what? You keep telling me about the same thing over and over again. We’ve given you our advice. You won’t take our advice. You keep saying the same thing over and over again. And it wears them out is what ends up happening. It just literally wears them out. Self pity is toxic and it wears people out. Victim mode can be toxic and wear people out.


Speaker 1 00:14:46 And so what happens is either we will leave because they won’t keep validating our brokenness, or they will leave because they’re sick and tired of hearing us. And we ended up having to come to the end of our ropes in a situation of languishing. Literally, before we get a clue, like something is wrong here, people keep leaving. My emotional, mental health is going downstream.

And when it comes to validation, it will go downstream because we have to keep constantly seeking that approval. And that addiction for approval. One while, I cleaned all day long to make sure that the house looked a certain way. And it was like, no matter how clean it was, it still wasn’t enough. I had to have it as a museum and I had to seek approval and validation and my self worth from my ex-husband and not realizing I was turning that into an idol. I was turning cleaning into an idol.

And the bigger problem was me and my identity. And knowing that God is enough. That was the biggest problem I had. Knowing he was enough, and that I did not deserve certain treatment, and have to prove anything different. So I hope that something that was said here today would resonate with you. I want to thank Timothy Horton for bringing our intro and outro music to us every week. And I want to thank you guys as my listeners for coming in and tuning in to Healing Our Brokenness podcast.

Until next time!
Speaker 0 00:16:21 . Music plays. Valley of Grace.

Episode 98: An Interview with Christen Clark

collide kids podcast, christen clark, episode 98, healing our brokenness podcast, an interview with Christen Clark
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 98: An Interview with Christen Clark
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Have you ever felt called to children’s ministry? What about the worship team? Or does a traveling worship team sound exciting to you? Listen to the interview that I had with children’s ministry director, music major, and podcast host of The Collide Kids Podcast show, Christen Clark to find out about all those things and more.

collide kids podcast, christen clark, episode 98, healing our brokenness podcast, an interview with Christen Clark
Collide Kids Podcast Host: Christen Clark

Biography

Christen Clark is the host of The Collide Kids Podcast that she started in 2020, a faith-based, interview-style show for kids and families to enjoy together.  She has been in vocational ministry for over 15 years in various churches serving as worship leader, choir director, bible teacher, and Children’s Ministry director.

Christen is currently pursuing her Masters degree at Dallas Theological Seminary. She is a wife and mother of 2, and lives in Cumming, Georgia. She loves being busy (obviously), meeting new people, and Mexican food.

In case you missed last week’s episode with Confidence and Money Mindset Coach, Eston Swaby, click here. Be blessed!

Podcast Topics

  • Her Life Story
  • How Healed and UnHealed Brokenness Affect Your Work
  • Commnunity’s Work in Healing Brokenness
  • Challenges in Children’s Ministry
  • Benefits of Children’s Ministry
  • Burnout in Children’s Ministry
  • Podcasting
  • Worship
  • Music
  • Fun Questions

Memory Verse

and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up.

Deuteronomy 6:7

Sign up for the Collide Kids Podcast!

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Black Folk Don’t Do Therapy

therapy, psychology, emotional health, mental health, black people, emotions, poetry, poetry community, angry black man, angry black woman, healing, slavery, post traumatic stress syndrome, post traumatic slave syndrome, showing emotions is a luxury, black lives matter

One of my goals this year is to dive into black poetry and literature at a whole ‘nother level. Doing so has helped me in healing, as well as being able to aide me in one of my current book projects: writing a 300 page poetry book.

As with any particular group of people, you can’t assume that what works for one, works for all. As a whole, there is a stigma behind black people doing therapy. This poem deals with that stigma, and hopefully will get some of us to open up at a deeper level. Due to blacks having to suppress their emotions way back from slavery times, it is both difficult, and deemed as unsafe for them to show their emotions in front of others.

therapy, psychology, emotional health, mental health, black people, emotions, poetry, poetry community, angry black man, angry black woman, healing, slavery, post traumatic stress syndrome, post traumatic slave syndrome, showing emotions is a luxury, black lives matter

The reality of the situation is that when blacks show emotions, particularly that of anger, we are labeled as the angry black man or woman, having a higher chance of the police being called. What is natural for others is a luxury when it comes to black people, and demonstrating emotions goes along with that.

I hope that this poem gives you some food for thought. I would love to start a discussion down below on your experience growing with emotions, and how it was handled. Be blessed!

Black Folk Don’t Do Therapy

Black folk don’t do therapy

We pray and we cry

Yep we cry in private

But in public our tears run dry.

Black folk don’t do therapy

We’re strong as a people

We just slay in the Spirit

Till our Prayers hit the steeple

Black folk don’t do therapy

We just hope and we pray

That our unhealed

Brokenness

Will up and leave us some day

Black folk don’t do therapy

‘Cause we think it’s a sin

If we bring down from

bondage

Generations had to win

Black folk must do therapy

‘Cause then we can negate

Ev’ry game that’s been

Played

‘Gainst the enemy

Called hate.

Black folk must do therapy

Till we break all devices

That’s been sewn

Into seeds.

Then planted

With preciseness

Black folk must do therapy

So our kids

Will one day see

That our growth,

Faith, and healing

Was a bicycle

Made For me.

Black History Part 2

Black History Part 1

Episode 93: An Interview with Alison Simmons

Alison Simmons, grace over perfection host, episode 93, katina horton, podcasting, podcaster, podcasting community, divorce, marriage, parenting, perfectionism, grace, failure, women, minstry, healing our brokenness, healing our brokenness podcast
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 93: An Interview with Alison Simmons
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Hello all, and happy Thursday! Two weeks ago, I did an interview with Alison Simmons. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Alison is a mother, Woman of God, Blogger, and the podcast host of Grace Over Perfection.

By the time we finished talking, I felt like I’d had a three-in-one session of therapy, support group, and sisterly fellowship. God is like that, giving us what we need when we need it. I hope that you re as blessed as I was when you tune into this interview.

Alison Simmons, grace over perfection host, episode 93, katina horton, podcasting, podcaster, podcasting community, divorce, marriage, parenting, perfectionism, grace, failure, women, minstry, healing our brokenness, healing our brokenness podcast

An Interview with Alison Simmons Topics

  • Podcasting
  • Roadblocks
  • Podcasting vs. Writing
  • Inspiration
  • Unique Knowlege/Expertise
  • Life Story
  • What Brokenness Means
  • Effects of Healed and UnHealed Brokenness on Podcasting
  • Community Help
  • Home
  • Requirements for Podcasting
  • Marriage
  • Divorce
  • Podcasting Genres
  • Fun Questions

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threestrand cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Other podcasting interviews:

An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 1
An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2

Crystal’s book

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Episode 88: An Interview with Erin Thompson-Part 1

Erin Thompson, interview with Erin Thomspon, episode 88, part 1, podcasting, podcaster, podcast, podcasting community, identity, purpose, scars, wounds, celebration, change, scars, wounds
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 88: An Interview with Erin Thompson-Part 1
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Introduction to An Interview with Erin Thompson

On Saturday, I had the pleasure of interviewing Woman of God and Author Erin Thompson. We talked about a little bit of everything, included witnessing how the Holy Spirit comes into our creative process. We also talked about identity, what it means, and how we often view ourselves. If you missed the last few podcast episodes, you can catch up by clicking on the links below. In case you missed the last interview, click here. Be blessed as you listen in on the living room conversation between me and Erin.

Erin Thompson, interview with Erin Thomspon, episode 88, part 1, podcasting, podcaster, podcast, podcasting community, identity, purpose, scars, wounds, celebration, change, scars, wounds
Photo of Erin Thompson

Begin to Declutter Your Home

Begin to Declutter Your Relationships

Begin to Declutter Your Body

Podcast Outline

  • Embracing Change
  • Moving
  • Podcasting Process
  • Celebrating Our Wins
  • Trusting God
  • Writing
  • Fears in Writing
  • Writing a Bible Study
  • Inspiration for Writing
  • Using Content in Multiple Ways

Follow Erin on her Website and Social Media

Erin Thompson’s Website

Online Therapy

I am a believer of therapy to the fullest. For some people, doing therapy online is more convenient than in person. By clicking the link above, you will be taken to an online therapy site. If you purchase from this link, I will receive a commission through Online Therapy’s affiliate market program to help in handling the expenses and logistics of this site.

Episode 84: Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger, Teacher Victoria Coberly-Part 2

brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, pandemic, writing, traveling, parenting, home, healing, podcasting, podcaster, teaching, tutor
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 84: Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger, Teacher Victoria Coberly-Part 2
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Yesterday, I posted part 1 of my interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger, Teacher, Victoria Coberly. If you want to listen in to part 1, click here. Today, I am posting part 2. It is nice to be able to sit down with women of God, learn about their life, their stories, their purpose, and passions. I pray that you will find something in this interview that resonates with you.

brokenness, emotional health, mental health, psychology, pandemic, writing, traveling, parenting, home, healing, podcasting, podcaster, teaching, tutor

Episode 84: Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger Victoria Coberly-Part 2 Outline

  • The Pandemic
  • Career Path
  • Homeschooling
  • Foreign Languages
  • Writing
  • Brokenness

Bible Verses to Meditate on:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6

Other podcasts with Teachers

Lisa Romero

Joyce Mosely

Other podcasts on Foreign Language and Homeschooling

Timothy Horton