Do you enjoy traveling? And if so, where to? Some of my best times involve traveling. Traveling can be done physically, virtually, or even in your mind when you are reading a book. Yesterday, I was blessed to interview Writer Victoria Coberly on traveling, parenting, and everything else in between. In case you missed the last podcast episode, you can catch up here.
Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger Victoria Coberly Podcast Outline
The year 2020 has had a lot of ups and downs. And to be honest, there seems to have been more downs than ups. In this podcast episode, I will go over some of the things that we have dealt with collectively, as well as individually. I will also dissect what we have as an anchor for the new year. In case you missed the last episode, you can click here to catch up.
Two months ago, I wrote the following post: When Trauma Triggers other Trauma(Racism)—Part 1. Today, we will talk about when trauma triggers other trauma in the area of abandonment. At the beginning of lockdown, everything was new and different. There was a vast sense of paranoia in regard to catching the virus. The questions that came to mind for most people were: Will I catch the virus at work? At the store? In my home from opening up the groceries? Taking a walk outside? The list became endless. There was a sense of emotions and dissociating stirring up inside me whenever I put on masks to go inside at work and at the grocery stores, as well as watching others with their masks on. Because the pandemic was trauma-inducing itself, initially I didn’t investigate the issue.
I also began to notice that the social distancing order caused me to dissociate and stir up certain emotions. But once again, just making it through the trauma of the pandemic was enough. Things were fresh and new, and I was going about my business as usual-until-yes, that is the magic word: until. Until people started asking each other how they were faring during the pandemic, whether alone or with others on social media. They were wondering how it felt to have to navigate the pandemic alone.
That’s when the giant drop occurred. For more on the giant drop, refer to this post. I had no other choice but to deal with the emotions as well as the dissociation. I was able to figure out that the social distancing and masks brought up old wounds of abandonment, and along with the abandonment, it’s friend named loneliness came along. I had to remind myself of the following: 1) that the trauma of the pandemic with the masks and social distancing aspects, along with the space involved, were triggering these feelings. 2) No one was leaving me. 3) I had to invoke a higher level of self-care. 4) I had to connect with others even more than usual, and even if that connection meant phone calls and Zoom, it would have to do. 5) I had to do deep breathing, and practice eye-focusing exercises to help ground me in the present time.
Initially, I realized that my self-care involved more music, reading, and outside time than watching television. I have found that sitting from watching television can actually be more anxiety and depression-inducing when you are going through hard times emotionally and mentally. It also helped when my son came and stayed for a few months right after my revelation of dissociation. However, before and after he left, I had already started implementing the four steps listed above. Thus, it made my journey even easier to navigate. The loneliness didn’t totally dissipate, but it became manageable with adding an extra layer of connection that wasn’t previously needed.
We all have different ways of dealing with trauma. What is helpful to one person may or may not be helpful to another. I am not a therapist. If your symptoms are causing you a heightened level of distress, seeing a therapist, or any other mental health professional is recommended.
Episode 74: An Interview with Woman of God, Fertility Liaison, Advocate for the Empowerment of Women, Entrepreneur, and Mother of Three Torria Johnson on Brokenness, Blackness, Music, Balancing Freedom with Trust, Relationships, & The Pandemic
This morning I had the privilege of interviewing Fertility Liaison Torria Johnson. It was a tremendous blessing to see how the Holy Spirit moved, and what can happen when we allow God to use us as his vessel. If you missed last week podcast, episode 74, An Interview with Timothy Horton, click here.
7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the Lord came to him: 9 “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”
12 “As surely as the Lord your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”
13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’”
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah.
We all want acceptance. We want to be accepted. Rejection is way too painful. What about when the tables are turned, and we are expected to accept someone or something, and the end result is out of our control. Like death. The pandemic. Our financial stability. Tune in to Episode 67 as we dissect acceptance.
Right now, in our world, we are faced with a situation that we have never had to deal with before. We have a virus that is worldwide, and there are lockdowns with specific instructions that are given, and each set of instructions are different for each region. No matter what these instructions are, we have been asked to stay home. Unless we have essential jobs or errands to run, we are told to stay put for the safety of ourselves, our loved ones, and the extremely vulnerable.
During this season, we have all felt a little bit of some form of anxiety or fear. Change brings anxiety. Sicknesses/Diseases bring on fear and anxiety. And lastly, but definitely not least, the unknown brings on anxiety. One unknown is that we don’t know how long the worldwide lock downs will last. We don’t know how long the shortages in the grocery stores or hoarding/panic buying will last. We don’t know how long it will be till we feel a sense of normal again. To be honest, when we think about it, will things ever really be “normal”? Those of us who haven’t had to deal with trauma are now having to ride these waves. Those of us who already have PTSD are dealing with compounded trauma.
One of the best things that we can do for ourselves during this time is to come up with a schedule that we can stick to in order to keep our bodies/minds/souls rested, renewed, and refreshed.
This is a good time for creativity. There will be times that we’ll get stuck. The important thing is us coming up with a schedule and sticking to it for the sake of our own, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health, as well as that of the other members of our household. There will be times that we’ll have to just stop and have that cry or meltdown. It releases the trauma hormones, stress, and anxiety from our bodies and will definitely help us to feel better. This is an area that I have to remind myself of over and over again. “Get the cry out. Have self-compassion and empathy for all you have gone through. Then move forward.” Sometimes we might have to rinse and repeat several times a day.
So, what are some of the things that I have been enjoying during this time? 1) Getting to spend some time with my almost 22-year-old son. 2) Listening to the birds in the morning and then again at 8 at night when they are rounding up for the day. 3) Baking banana bread, zucchini bread, and cookies. 4) The creativity juices to write poetry as I sit on my bed among my pillows in the morning. 5) Extra time to read. 6) Time to work on writing two books.
There is an art involving in breathing. To breathe is to let go, release the stress, and give your mind time to reflect on what your mind, body, and soul tells you. This poem does just that. It helps you to stop and focus on what breathing does for you along with helping you gain a better perspective.