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Episode 102: Let it All Out

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 102: Let it All Out
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It’s very tempting to hold in and suppress your emotions. It’s especially tempting when your race/ethnic group has been suppressing their emotions because of generational trauma. What actually happens when we suppress our emotions? What happens when we let it out? I mean let it all out? What would happen if we invite God and our own unique stress response cycle into the mix? Watch today’s episode to find out. Click here for last week’s episode on being stuck in our mess.

podcast, healing our brokenness podcast, resilient, flourishing, Christian podcaster, podcast community, grief, let it all out, emotions, Joseph wept, joseph and his brothers, emotional health, mental health, psychology, katina horton, podcaster
Episode 102

Podcast Outline:

  • The Desire to Suppress
  • What Happens when we Suppress
  • What happens when we let go
  • My Experience with Emotional Buildup
  • Joseph’s Experience with Emotional Buildup

Podcast Transcription

Speaker 0    00:00:23    <inaudible>,   Valley of Grace.

Part 1

Speaker 1    00:01:12    This is the Healing Our Brokenness podcast, where we dissect problems and solutions that exist among broken people, living in a broken world. And where we also go from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing. This is podcast episode 102, and this one is entitled, “Let it all out”. Quite a title, right? In this particular episode, we’re dealing with our emotions.

And what happens is once we start being still long enough, we will be able to listen to our bodies and be in tune with our souls and our spirits and realize that something is off. We will be able to say, Oh, grief is built up. This needs to come out. This needs to be released. After learning how to navigate moments of stillness, I now know when grief is trapped in my eye sockets, stomach, chest, back, or throughout my body.  It sounds weird, but it’s true.  Our bodies communicate this to us in our stillness.

Speaker 1    00:02:30   And then there are times where the grief is just deep inside my soul. And I know when it comes out that it’s going to be really intense and really heavy and loud.  I can hear the loudness and intensity of the grief deep inside my soul.  During those times I have to give myself grace because sometimes if I focus on how it should be, rather than how it is, It can lead to me being disappointed.  And then disillusioned.  And then discouragement follows.

Part 2

Speaker 1    00:03:31    The best thing we can do when grief gets backed up is to get it out.  You have heard the old phrase, “Better out than in.”  This is also true when it comes to grief.  When we hold it in and suppress it, we are allowing it to transfer over to trauma.  In Genesis 45, we’re at the scene where Joseph is talking to his brothers, and then you got other officials that are underneath him in rank in the room, his servants, so to speak, and his emotions have built up and he’s realized that. And so it was just like, okay, so what do we do with these  emotions? We have to let it out.

I had a pretty emotional day about a month and a half ago,

Speaker 1    00:04:32    Things had not been going well leading up to that particular day.  It had been a crazy week. A two hour adventure turned into a five hour adventure. I didn’t get home until almost 10 o’clock. I was cold and hungry, and exhausted. While I was in the process of getting all those things done, I could hear the inner voice crying out in my soul.

Speaker 1    00:05:32    Okay. I finally finished up at least 80% of what I had to get done and I got in the car and I said, I’m just going to have to scream and let it out. And it probably was maybe four rounds of that. And maybe another couple when I got home, but I felt so much better. And when it comes to those types of emotions, we have got to be able to get this stuff out. 

Part 3

Sometimes getting it out doesn’t look pretty/ideal/or the way we think they should look.  Either we get it out and we are able to control how it comes out or it is going to control us and who knows what’s going to happen, but it’s got to come out.  And won’t be pretty.  Exploding on others is not ideal nor healthy, and could have been avoided.  We ended up getting sick like that. Usually when it comes on that heavy like that, you have a little bit of a space as a warning, as far as trying to go somewhere, to be able to deal with it in private, if need be. 

Speaker 1    00:06:28    And I just thank God that I was able to get it out. I listened to a particular podcast episode recently where the podcast host, who’s a therapist talked about how sometimes she has to go outside to be able to scream or yell, or whatever kind of way she needs to, to be able to get those emotions out of her.  

Part 4

And with blacks, we have to be careful anyway, because it’s part of our DNA from trauma, we are able to suppress the emotions, more naturally than usual because of that trauma.  The other side of that is that our bodies are keeping tract of everything that we are going through.  It is screaming out from arthritis and all kinds of chronic autoimmune diseaseas.

Speaker 1    00:07:27   We let it out and give ourselves compassion and grace and speak kind words to ourselves. Instead of going into self-blame, self-judgment and self-criticism mode. And we let it out. And what I want to do right now is talk about Joseph and what happened with him when he was in the room. As I mentioned before, he was surrounded by his servants and his brothers.  He wanted to be able to tell his brothers who he was.

Speaker 1    00:08:30    Okay. And it got built up in his system. And I’m going to read what the scripture says. It says Joseph could not control himself in front of his servants any longer. “When Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it.

Part 5

3 Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.”

Speaker 1    00:09:31    Don’t be worried, angry with yourselves because you sold me here. God sent me here ahead of you to say people’s lives. No food has grown the land for two years and there would be five more years without planning or harvest. So God sent me here ahead of you to make sure you have some descendants left on earth and to keep you alive in an amazing way.

So it was not you who sent me here, but God notice that he told them that twice to reassure them. God has made me the official, the highest officer of the King of Egypt. I am in charge of his house. And I am the master of all of the land of Egypt. So leave quickly and go to my father, tell him your son, Joseph, see us, God has made a master over all. Each have come down to me quickly. 

Part 6

Speaker 1    00:10:33   Joseph reminded me of myself, where he realized he couldn’t control himself any longer. He asked them to leave except for his brothers because he felt safe enough to be able to express himself and reveal himself in front of them. And sometimes we can let it out with others, with us. And sometimes we just have to do it by ourselves. The window of time is important, and discernment is important.

Speaker 1    00:11:24    Regulating our emotions is part of being resilient as well as being able to flourish in our relationships. Because if we are walking around in that much misery, we cannot have decent relationships with people.  Our focus and our pain are only on ourselves and how miserable we are.  We want to let it out, and Get back up again, within reasonable time so we can keep moving. So, I hope it was something that was said here today that will resonate with your hearts as you go from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing. I want to give a shout out to Timothy Horton for bringing the intro and outro music to us every week.

Part 7

Speaker 1 00:13:03 And that song is entitled Valley of Grace. And it can be found wherever music is sold. Healing Our Brokenness podcast is on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, and on Amazon music, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, etc. So, if this is blessing your life in any kind of shape, form or fashion, if you could please give a shout out to your friends, your neighbors, your family members, and ask them to follow us.

 Valley of Grace.

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Broken Pieces Course

Are you saying to yourself, “I’m sick and tired of being in this state of languishing!” , but you are confused about how to get out? You need someone to walk you through the process, step by step. That’s what the course Broken Pieces is all about. This course walks you through with personalized videos, getting you to the heart of the matter. ****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

The Sun And Its Effect on Trauma

Bless you,

Katina

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Episode 101: I’m Stuck!

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 101: I'm Stuck!
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Have you ever tried to squeeze into a space that appeared too small, or not even appeared to be too small; it was simply too small, but you figured you would squeeze into it anyway. This squeeze or force, if you want to call it, left you crying out, Help, I’m Stuck! And you stayed in that position until someone came to help you, or maybe you figured out how to untangle yourself. Being stuck doesn’t help with us being resilient because resiliency involves being able to adapt to change. We all get stuck every once in a while; but when this condition becomes our MO, then what? Tune into this episode to find out. Just in case you missed last week’s episode, click here.

stuck, I'm stuck podcast episode: keywords: healing, unhealed brokenness, grief, complacency, time to move on, emotinal health, mental health, psychology, resilience, flourishing, katina horton, timothy horton, broken relationships, lifestyle
Episode 101

Podcast Transcription:

Part 1

Speaker 0    00:00:23    <inaudible>, Valley of Grace.

Speaker 1    00:01:05    This is the healing our brokenness podcast, where we dissect problems and solutions that exist among broken people, living in a broken world. And we also believe that we’re going from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing, and the title of this episode, episode 101, is “I’m stuck”. Now, when you think of somebody saying I’m stuck, it actually makes me think of my daughter when she was two years old and she would get into the kitchen chair at the table.

And she liked to pretend like she was stuck so I could come over and help her. And, you know, kids do all kinds of things for attention, but that was one of her things. And my son would say, ‘Oh, mom, someone needs to help her. She’s stuck.”  And in turn, I would say, “No, she’s not stuck at all. She’s gonna figure it out.”

Speaker 1    00:02:11   She would keep this up until I ended up going over there and putting  her in the chair or getting on her before she would finally go on and sit down in the chair. And it wasn’t too long before that “I’m stuck” stopped. But anyways,  the kind of stuck I’m talking about today is when it comes to grief. And one thing about grief is that we all have our own timetable. 

It is not something that can be rushed. I would say some of us want to rush it. We wish we can just zoom past/plow through.  That’s not how grief works. Grief is a process, and that process has got to be done. Some people when they grieve, they go through the entire five steps: the anger, the denial, the bargaining, acceptance,etc.

Part 2

Speaker 1    00:03:11    And then some of us may skip over one, do it all kind of ways out of order. I know with me, when I was grieving my divorce, my grief was all over the place. There was anger initially, but then my brain because of the trauma could not process the anger. Instead of processing anger, flashbacks and violent images occurred.  And so the anger started to come in towards the end of my healing process from the divorce. Unfortunately, now in the scriptures, we have Samuel caught up in grieving over Saul.

Speaker 1    00:04:11   Saul was King and God had decided he was done. A done deal due to disobedience, extreme insecurity, and rebellion.  Basically, God said,” You’re not King anymore. I’ve dethroned you. Samuel’s job was to go and appoint a new King.

And it was going to be the one that God was going to anoint. Samuel had been grieving Saul’s dethroning for a while.  When it comes to other people’s grief, we don’t want to be judgment.  However, in Samuel’s case, he was stuck on grieving something that had been going on too long.  The scripture lets us know this by what God said, “the Lord said to Samuel, how long will you griev for Saul? 

Part 3

Speaker 1    00:05:09    When I have rejected him as King over Israel, fill your horn with oil and go, I will send you to Jesse, the Bethlehemite, I have chosen a King for myself among his sons.” Okay. So there are some times when we’re grieving so long that we have to be pulled out by something or someone, but we choose to stay in. Grief can make you comfortable.

And, they can get to the point of being stuck in it and trapped if we’re not careful, you know? And so basically God was telling Samuel we’re done with this. We’re done with a capital D get up, let’s get moving. We’re done. Let’s get back to growing and moving forward.

Speaker 1    00:06:09   With us, there are times when God’s like, “We’re done with that relationship, we’re done with that friendship. We’re done with that job. We’re done with that house, that car, that opportunity.  Get up and move forward. 

As I said before, this is not with everything.  But a lot of things can end up like this if we’re not careful.  God has been telling us we’re done, and we’re still trying to keep it going, drawing it out. And God has closed the door on it, but we’re still trying to stay in the hallway hoping it will open or climb in through the window. When we’re done, we have to make ourselves get up so as to be able to adapt to change and be resilient.

Part 4

Speaker 1    00:07:05    When God says we’re done , we need to be able to be able to say that we’re done in our minds and in our hearts and in our souls. If we go according to what we feel, nothing will get done.  We have to push past the feelings. I don’t feel like washing dishes. I’m not washing dishes. And sometimes that’s just what we need in order to nourish ourselves. We need to not do what we normally do. 

Speaker 1    00:07:53    But a lot of times we make it our MO.  I don’t feel like doing that. I don’t feel like combing my hair today. I don’t feel like going down the street to the store, but I need more milk. I don’t feel like getting tissue from the store, whatever it is.

We don’t feel like doing it so we can get comfortable and not do it. And then, next thing you know, three months have passed, and we haven’t vacuumed, or whatever we are holding off on.  Grief is the same way.  We can get stuck in it.  We can’t go according to what someone else is doing.  We have to go according to what our system is telling us. And that way we’ll be able discern whether we’re ready to move on or not. And more importantly, whether God is telling us this through sermons,  sitting in stillness, reading his word, using others, etc.

Part 5

Speaker 1    00:09:03    And then we want to be careful judging people who are in grief and need to stay in it longer. Grief shows up differently for everybody. Some people’s grief shows up as rage. Some people’s grief shows up as looting or self-harm. Some people’s grief shows up as promiscuity, alcoholism, drug addictions, indigestion problems, crying, sadness, rage, vomiting, you name it. Some people have blood vessels to burst in their eyes as part of their grief. So when we get to the point of judging grief, we have to be very careful because we never know how we will react when it comes to our turn.

Speaker 1    00:10:08    Staying in grief longer than necessary causes us to engage in broken relationships, hinders resiliency, and our relationships with important people in our lives:   friends, our parents, our children, small group members, etc. We still have live life while we walk through grief. 

Part 6

Speaker 1    00:11:08    There are some times where we need to be alone. Other times, it may not be good to isolate. The devil want us to be by ourselves, which is not God’s plan.   So I hope that something resonated with you from what I said, as we go from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing, I want to thank you for being faithful listeners every week. I want to give a shout out to Timothy Horton for bringing the intro and outro music to us every week.


Speaker 1 00:13:03 And that song is entitled Valley of Grace. And it can be found wherever music is sold. Healing Our Brokenness podcast is on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, and on Amazon music, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, etc. So, if this is blessing your life in any kind of shape, form or fashion, if you could please give a shout out to your friends, your neighbors, your family members, and ask them to follow us.  Until Next Time.   Valley of Grace.

Speaker 0    00:12:54    <inaudible>.

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Episode 98: An Interview with Christen Clark

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 98: An Interview with Christen Clark
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Have you ever felt called to children’s ministry? What about the worship team? Or does a traveling worship team sound exciting to you? Listen to the interview that I had with children’s ministry director, music major, and podcast host of The Collide Kids Podcast show, Christen Clark to find out about all those things and more.

Biography

Christen Clark is the host of The Collide Kids Podcast that she started in 2020, a faith-based, interview-style show for kids and families to enjoy together.  She has been in vocational ministry for over 15 years in various churches serving as worship leader, choir director, bible teacher, and Children’s Ministry director.

Christen is currently pursuing her Masters degree at Dallas Theological Seminary. She is a wife and mother of 2, and lives in Cumming, Georgia. She loves being busy (obviously), meeting new people, and Mexican food.

In case you missed last week’s episode with Confidence and Money Mindset Coach, Eston Swaby, click here. Be blessed!

Podcast Topics

  • Her Life Story
  • How Healed and UnHealed Brokenness Affect Your Work
  • Commnunity’s Work in Healing Brokenness
  • Challenges in Children’s Ministry
  • Benefits of Children’s Ministry
  • Burnout in Children’s Ministry
  • Podcasting
  • Worship
  • Music
  • Fun Questions

Memory Verse

and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down and when thou risest up.

Deuteronomy 6:7

Sign up for the Collide Kids Podcast!

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

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Episode 93: An Interview with Alison Simmons

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 93: An Interview with Alison Simmons
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Hello all, and happy Thursday! Two weeks ago, I did an interview with Alison Simmons. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Alison is a mother, Woman of God, Blogger, and the podcast host of Grace Over Perfection.

By the time we finished talking, I felt like I’d had a three-in-one session of therapy, support group, and sisterly fellowship. God is like that, giving us what we need when we need it. I hope that you re as blessed as I was when you tune into this interview.

Alison Simmons, grace over perfection host, episode 93, katina horton, podcasting, podcaster, podcasting community, divorce, marriage, parenting, perfectionism, grace, failure, women, minstry, healing our brokenness, healing our brokenness podcast

An Interview with Alison Simmons Topics

  • Podcasting
  • Roadblocks
  • Podcasting vs. Writing
  • Inspiration
  • Unique Knowlege/Expertise
  • Life Story
  • What Brokenness Means
  • Effects of Healed and UnHealed Brokenness on Podcasting
  • Community Help
  • Home
  • Requirements for Podcasting
  • Marriage
  • Divorce
  • Podcasting Genres
  • Fun Questions

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threestrand cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Other podcasting interviews:

An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 1
An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2

Crystal’s book

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

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Episode 92: An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 92: An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2
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Last week, I did an interview with Crystal Daye, a firehouse, on a mission from God. Crystal and I talked about so many different things. And as we carried on our conversation, we lifted each other up in the Spirit.

In case you missed part 1, check it out here. Don’t forget your pen and paper as you listen to Part 2, An Interview with Crystal Daye. Be blessed!

crystal daye, brand strategist, identity, writing, podcasting, podcaster, christian author, award-winning author, international speaker, grounded in your identity, business, books, purpose, passion, lifestyle blog, katina horton, healing our brokenness podcast, episode 91
Author Crystal Daye

An Interview with Crystal Daye Podcast Outline

  • Grounded in Identity
  • Purpose and Passion
  • Healed and Unhealed Brokenness
  • How Brokenness Affects Podcasters
  • Community and Brokenness
  • Requirements for a Good Podcaster
  • Webinar
  • Home
  • Fun Things

Crystal’s new book: Dear Insecurity

Crystal’s podcast: Diary of a Jesus Girl

God bless!

Katina

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Episode 89: An Interview with Erin Thompson Part 2

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 89: An Interview with Erin Thompson Part 2
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An Interview with Erin Thompson Introduction

Yesterday, I posted part 1 of the interview that I had with Woman of God, Bible Teacher, and Author Erin Thompson. If you missed that episode, click here. Today, I will dig into part two of that conversation. Grab a pen and piece of paper to take notes as Erin continues to share her heart and soul with us.

An Interview with Erin Thompson on identity, change, scars, wounds, moving, writing, etc.
Erin Thompson, Bible Teacher, Author, Woman of God

An Interview with Erin Thompson Part 2 Outline

  • Current Writing Projects
  • What is a Good Writer
  • Failure
  • Mapping Out and Writing a Bible Studay
  • Authenticity
  • Helping From an Area of Brokenness
  • Scars and Wounds
  • Definition of Identity
  • Bonus Fun Questions

Erin Thompson’s Website

Online Therapy

I am a believer of therapy to the fullest. By clicking the link above, you will be taken to an online therapy site. If you purchase from this link, I will receive a commission through Online Therapy’s affiliate market program to help in handling the expenses and logistics of this site.

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Episode 83: Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger Victoria Coberly-Part 1

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 83: Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger Victoria Coberly-Part 1
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Introduction

Do you enjoy traveling? And if so, where to? Some of my best times involve traveling. Traveling can be done physically, virtually, or even in your mind when you are reading a book. Yesterday, I was blessed to interview Writer Victoria Coberly on traveling, parenting, and everything else in between. In case you missed the last podcast episode, you can catch up here.

traveling, pandemic, parenting, career, writing, brokenness

Interview with Woman of God, Writer, Blogger Victoria Coberly Podcast Outline

  • Traveling
  • Parenting

Psalm 127:3

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”

Proverbs 1:8-9

“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”

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Episode 71: An Interview with Substance Abuse & Addiction Counselor Julianna Sliger on Brokenness, Her Journey, and Substance Abuse

the valley of grace podcast
Healing Our Brokenness Podcast Series
Episode 71: An Interview with Substance Abuse & Addiction Counselor Julianna Sliger on Brokenness, Her Journey, and Substance Abuse
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Substance Abuse plagues every family. No one is exempt. Although it is something that plagues every family, it is not something that we want to talk about. It causes shame, exhaustion, anger, and fear. Addictions leave the same effect, with innocent parties sitting back on edge, waiting to see what happens next. Click here to listen to Substance Abuse & Addictions Counselor Julianna Sliger with her take on Brokenness, Substance Abuse, and Her Journey in General.

Julianna Sliger, substance abuse, addictions, brokenness, emotional health, psychology, mental health, alcoholism, trauma, sexual abuse, triggers, ptsd, broken, brokenness, broken world, podcast, podcaster, podcasting, episode 71, healing our brokenness podcast, katina horton, lifestyle blogger, therapist, mental health professional
Julianna Sliger, Substance Abuse and Addictions Counselor

Podcast Outline:

  • Introduction
  • Julianna Sliger’s Journey
  • Dealing With Substance Abuse / Addictions Clients
  • Brokenness

Bible Verses on Substance Abuse:

1 Peter 5: 8

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

1 Corinthians 6: 19:20

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Daniel 1:8

But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king’s food, or with the wine that he drank. Therefore he asked the chief of the eunuchs to allow him not to defile himself.