Choose your door. Choose your pain.

Open this door or that one?

Healing is no easy task. And yet, at the same time, it is very rewarding work. Making the decision to heal is accepting the invitation given to our soul to do the necessary work it’s been procrastinating on. And like a domino effect, when we do our necessary work, our minds, hearts, and spirits expand in abundance and energy.

This expansion occurs because unresolved trauma, drama, undealt with brokenness, shame, insecurities, and the lies we have believed about love that has held us back so long has been dismantled.

Narcissistic relationships steal, kill, and destroy your power, soul and identity, sense of self and reality, ways of reasoning, and method of operating in life in general.

In order to reclaim you, you have to deconstruct these areas, and then rebuild. The problem comes in when you’re presented with pain on the front end. No one wants to deal with pain.

However, if we think of pain in terms of deciding which one is most beneficial, we can make progress. Pain that causes more pain and works through the bloodline going from generation to generation through the viper spirit is perpetual pain.

Pain of doing soul work that leads to abundance, freedom, and wholeness is temporary pain. Wholeness means that none of the parts of your life story is compartmentalized. Nothing is swept under the rug when it comes to its reality.

This means that you accept, resolve, and reframe each and every part of your story and integrate each of these parts into who you are.

When we compartmentalize, we leave certain issues untouched. This is equivalent to stuffing clothes and other miscellaneous things to the max in a closet, reminding yourself, spouse, and kids,, “Never open that door.”

It sounds good in theory. However, if the door is never opened, the things in the closet are never dealt with. The door is meant to be a forever and ever closed door.

But then what happens if we have company over, and that company needs to hang up their cost? You tell them to hang their coat up in the hallway closet. But you have two hallway closets: one you use, and one you never use.

One person goes and opens the wrong door. Piles of clothing falls on him, along with the corner of an old vinyl player, creating a gash in his head.

Wow, he is standing there with an open wound in his head, you yell out, “why did you open that door?” He looks at you like you’ve seriously lost your mind. It was the wrong door. He had no way of knowing. It was an accident.

This is how it works with healing. We make the decision to never open that door. That door stays closed. But then, you reach a fork in the road where your drama, Trauma, and life in general catches up with you.

You’re overloaded and need to release what you’ve been holding. Someone comes along and threatens the bubble you’ve been living in. He says something that hits your childhood wounds, and you iterally snap his soul into millions of pieces of an emotional toxic bath.

He didn’t know It wasn’t safe for him to open the door. You did. And instead of apologizing to him for now damaging him, you blame him for being the one who opened the door.

Having a broken arm is painful. Having this broken alarm reset is even more painful. However, the latter pain leads to a rebuilt and functional arm. The former pain leads to a broken, limited mobility and functional arm.

What will happen when they open the doors of your soul? What will happen when you need to choose your arm? Which life will you choose: the one that the thief has left you with, or the one that Jesus died on the cross for?

John 10:10

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

You Choose to Become Friends With Control

When you choose to ignore the Sabbath, you choose to become friends with control.

Being in the driver seat of control means that God is not even riding shotgun. As a matter of fact, you have placed him somewhere in the trunk.


As humans we believe that our solutions are better than God’s. This disillusionment and tunnel vision focus leads to bondage. And in turn, this bondage leads to coming up with false concepts about God and his love for us.

Our addiction to being in the driver seat means that we value:

Toxicity over purification

Control over trust

Slavery our freedom

Harmful over beneficial


Because we focus on what we have a right to do. And Paul tackled this clearly:

1 Corinthians 6:12 NIV

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.

The Hoover Addiction Cycle Part 1

The narcissist wants to let you go.  But then again, he doesn’t.  Five things won’t let him.  Let’s dive in. #toxicrelationships #loveandfreedom #katinahorton   

The Hoover Addiction Cycle Let My People Go Part 1

The Love ❤️ and Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach  

Our Mission, Vision, & Why  Our mission is to help women in toxic relationships regain clarity on love and freedom, release control, break soul-ties and unhealthy relationship patterns, build resilience and flourish, and reclaim their power, SOUL, and identity, so they will know they are enough.  

Valley of Grace envisions millions of women owning their stories, provoking them to heal and walk in wholeness, operate in love and freedom, and empower and impact the lives of women in their homes, communities, and around the world.   

We so believe in the emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical well-being of every woman that we donate 100% of the proceeds of The Valley of Grace Shop to Valley of Grace Ministries.  

Valley of Grace Ministries provides many services, including coaching for women, without the financial roadblocks.   

Author Bible Teacher Brand, Business, & Marketing Strategist Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach Speaker Podcast Host Course Creator Dance Minister E-commerce Store Owner  

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Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Divorce, & Remarriage with Authors Kirk & Debbie Taylor

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Divorce, & Remarriage with Authors Kirk & Debbie Taylor

The million dollar question is: Should I stay or should I go? Some people think the answer to the question is obvious. But it is not.

Self gaslighting ⛽️, magical thinking, and refusal to “see” what is really going on will make answering this question even harder.

Add the fact that you are a Christian, and your hands are tied. Why? We’ve been programmed to believe that Christians stay in it no matter how bad it gets. And sadly, this misconception of being a Christian has trickled down from the parents to the children.

Listen in to Kirk and Debbie’s story, and find out how God took two toxic relationships, and turned them into one☝️big story of redemption.



Purchase Kirk & Debbie Taylor’s book, Should You Stay or Should You Go?

Abandonment, Trauma, Toxic Relationships, Healing, and a Story of Redemption

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Abandonment, Trauma, Toxic Relationships, Healing, and a Story of Redemption

Trials, trauma, abandonment, and hardship are all markers for an orphan spirit. With the help of the Lord, and reclamation of our identity in Christ, God can restore all the years the locusts have eaten.

Just like David restored Mephibosheth’s inheritance and identity in his family’s lineage, God restored Shebra’s inheritance and identity in him, opening her eyes to his promises, and seating her with him in heavenly places. Listen in to this candid interview between Shebra Williams and I as she takes you on a journey of grace, hope, forgiveness, and redemption. Be blessed!

I own the rights, license, and permission of performing artist, Timothy Horton GR8, to use Valley of Grace as Valley of Grace Ministries’ theme song.


How to Reach Shebra Williams:


Tiktok: @queenshebrarhianna

Sabrina Victoria- Abandoned, Caught up in the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle, and Fighting For Freedom

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Sabrina Victoria- Abandoned, Caught up in the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle, and Fighting For Freedom

Sabrina Victoria, Coach and CEO of Human Better 365, is a freedom fighter. After being disowned by her family, congregation, and friends, she put one foot forward to heal.

But healing was the last thing that happened. Her desire to reconcile her relationship with God led to more trauma, then finding herself in the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle, and finally, using every ounce of courage that she had left to fight for freedom.

You will relate, empathize, and be empowered as you listen 🎧 to her story on The Valley of Grace Podcast.

Music played is the theme song for the Valley of Grace Podcast. Katina Horton-Valley of Grace Ministries have been licensed and given permission to use Valley of Grace by performing artist Timothy Horton GR8.

Sabrina Victoria’s Bio:

Sabrina Victoria is the owner and operator of Human Better 365 a human transformation company focusing on time management and organization within businesses and the family dynamic. In short, she specializes in creating absolute masterpieces out of complete chaos.

As an empath and serial people pleaser, she was always looking for the solution to everyone’s problems, and that attribute eventually became the catalyst for her own survival.

Sabrina always had a burning desire to create, to write, to imagine and to rise above who she was. However, it would take her 28 years to finally see, feel and hear her voice.

To get in touch with Sabrina Victoria at Human Better 365:

Human Better 365

Be blessed!


Healing From Narcissistic Abuse-The Art of Receiving Advice

Healing From Narcissistic Abuse-The Art of Receiving Advice

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a lot of work. The thing to remember is to always keep the end goal in mind. And what is the end goal? Returning back to your true authentic self. The one that God created. During this time, you will receive advice from many different people. And God also encourages us to take advice.

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Proverbs 11:14

However, as with anything, we have to use wisdom, discernment, and our intuition as to whether or not this advice is well-meaning advice or toxic advice that is a mask for control.

There are four different types of advice I would like to discuss with you.

The first kind of advice is projected advice. When we project something, it means that we are taking our own experiences and assigning it to someone else. Projected advice means that the person is giving you advice based upon all of the factors that fit their situation. This kind of device may or may not help you.


The factors involved can be major deal breakers. Some people who give you projected advice have not been in the situation that you have been in before, meaning they have privilege. And although they are well-meaning, they can actually do more harm than good. When we have privilege, we tend to look at other people’s situation through a privileged lens.

Projected advice gets sticky in areas of finances, court issues, and PTSD/trauma.

The second kind of advice that we often receive is double-minded advice. What is double minded advice? It is based on the Bible verse in James 1:18.

“He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

James 1:18

Double-minded advice comes from individuals who have one standard for themselves, and another standard for you. This person often talks on both sides of their mouth so to speak. One minute they are saying one thing. Then a few minutes later they are totally contradicting what they just said. Which version do you believe?

Good question.

Double-minded advice is evidence that the person giving the advice is unstable, or living incongruent to their values and beliefs.

The third kind of advice is purpose-destroying advice. This kind of advice is often given by individuals who exhibit signs of toxic jealousy, envy, and competition when it comes to your calling. They refuse to own their story, but want partial ownership of yours. They want the highlight reels.

Remember, the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Therefore, purpose-destroying advice exists to destroy every aspect of your calling including its power, SOUL, and identity.

The fourth kind of advice that I want to talk about is the “ I heard a word from the Lord” advice. Sometimes this kind of advice is very good. Other times, it involves a combination of the other three kinds of advice that I just discussed plus the gaslighting spirit.

The most important thing that we can do is to test the spirits of people who come to us with a word from the Lord. And we also have to remember that if God has that particular message for us, he will confirm it through us and not just give it to somebody else.

Remember: You are enough. Rebuild your family’s toxic love story garden. Reclaim your power, SOUL, and identity today. Grab your keys to the kingdom and get your inheritance.