August 29, 2020April 29, 2021

Sweet Weekend

The following post is one that was created a year ago on another website. It seems like it was just yesterday that I wrote it. At the same time, the realization that it was a year ago also helps me to think about the difference in what was happening then: family members were still alive, freedom to go and do things without wearing a mask, less anxiety, fear, and collective trauma, and more predictability. Even with all of this, there is one thing that has remained the same. And that one thing is a good, loving, merciful God. Sometimes it is hard to accept this fact when things are not progressing in the timeline that we’d like. And guess what? He can handle that too.

Here is the post:

Sweet Weekend

This past weekend I got a chance to do some reading, relaxing, doing home projects, watching movies, and embracing some stillness. One of the two movies that I watched was entitled, “Sweet Inspirations”. This movie can be found on Pureflix. I haven’t been asked to review this movie. I found it enjoyable, relatable, and the fact that the movie had an emphasis placed on real-life issues.

You got a chance to peek into the lives of several different movies. There were so many themes highlighted in this movie. I am going to name the ones that stood out to me: relationships, domestic abuse, marital issues, art, our passions, family time, community, and women’s health.

Dissection of Passions, Gifts, Talents

The theme that I will dissect is that of our passions/gifts/talents. When it comes to our passions/gifts/talents, it is so important that we are regularly doing activities that pull them out. If we are not creating/expressing ourselves, it can lead to feeling unfulfilled, purposeless, and depression. God created each of us with unique passions/gifts/talents. No two people have been created alike. When we are creating according to our passions/gifts/talents, we are showing contentment, gratitude, appreciation, and good stewardship over what God has given us.

One of the women in the movie realized that she stopped living and doing what she was created for and passionate about in order to please her husband and participate in his business. It is important to help others. However, we also become the best version of ourselves when we do what we were created to do first. Then, we can use this energy to help others to walk into their passions.

Food for thought:

What have you been created to be passionate about? How easy is it to walk into it? Or, is it more tempting to allow others to force you into their passions, or are we forcing ourselves into theirs?

August 26, 2020April 29, 2021

Whole Faith

What is whole faith? Whole faith is the faith that you hold on to when you don’t have details of when, why, how, or where that the “what” you need to happen is going to happen. When we having been praying for something so long, it is very tempting to throw in the towel. It is easy to want to go according to what our feelings are telling us; that this thing that you want so badly is not going to happen.

Whole Faith says , “Lord, help my unbelief!” like the Father who cried out so very desperately for his son to be healed. He had been demon possessed since childhood. He didn’t know what else to do, nor what to say. The disciples had proven his point of dealing with an impossible situation when they couldn’t cast it out.

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Whole Faith says, “Lord, here you go. You are in control.” We release the situation to God. We know that we have prayed enough, and we need to sit this thing at his precious feet. And lastly, whole faith says as Jesus did as he hung on the cross, “Thy will be done.”

What are some ways that you have had to exhibit whole faith in your life?

August 19, 2019April 28, 2021

Fear

When it comes to fear, there is no respect of persons. It gets a toehold, and pulls you in when you least expect it. With a combination of marinading ourselves in God’s love, prayer, and praise, fear will take a backseat. However, Satan isn’t going to want to let us go without a fight. He is always on the move. Therefore, we have to constantly stay armored up. For when fear is conquered in one area, he is sure to attack us in the next.

Fear

Fear.

Sneaks upon from nowhere.

Fear.

Latches on you if you dare.

Fear.

Masquerading as your friend.

Fear.

Only torments in the end.

But,

Just Remember to look above.

At,

Our Dear Father’s Perfect love.

Why?

In his love, there is no fear.

Yes,

Abba, Father, He is Near.

¹There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18

July 1, 2019April 28, 2021

Episode 41: Fear in Control

The Valley of Grace Podcast

Episode 41: Fear in Control

00:00 / 00:10:47

Fear in Control Outline

Fear explained.
Dread explained.
How Fear took over in my life.
Repetition of Satan’s Tactics.
Podcast Transcript

Good afternoon! Welcome to “Healing our Brokenness”, Episode 41, entitled “Fear in Control”. How many of you have dealt with fear? How did it make you feel? Was your heart racing? Did you feel like you were losing your mind? Was your body shaking?

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What is fear? Fear is when we are perceiving something as a threat or danger to us. If you have dealt with any kind of trauma, or have PTSD, you know that the fear part of the brain can get triggered. And then when this happens, All reasoning goes out the door. We know what we know, but because the fear brain has taken over, we cannot stop it. What happens is that while the fear brain is in control, you become keenly aware that the fear is irrational and needs to stop. You literally feel as if someone is behind you and after you at the same time. I have experienced this several times. When it happens, I usually get praise music in my head to let me know that I am OK. However, I cannot stop the process of what the fear brain of PTSD / trauma is doing. It has a mind of its own so to speak. No amount of talking myself down helps me to calm down. I know that I just have to wait it out.

When we think of dread it does not bring about a good connotation. Dread makes you think of something awful taking place, another form of extreme fear within itself. When I was in my 20s, and I found myself having a health crisis, my life was filled with fear that was out of control, and daily battles of dread of dying because of my health. I am allowed Satan to get the best of me in my thoughts, and in my spirit. Every day, as I waited for my thyroid condition to improve, Satan had me trapped in a foot hold of fear and dread about me possibly going into cardiac arrest and dying before getting to the point of feeling better.

What made it worse is that i was suffering from an extreme lack of sleep. When you are going without sleep for so long, it puts you quickly in a category for having a lot of other things to take place. And some of those things include mental health issues, nervous system issues, focusing issues, brain fog, and the inability to cope in general. My lack of sleep coupled with dealing with trying to get my thyroid under control for months made me the perfect bait for Satan to get a foothold.

And what were his lies? His lies were “This is it. You are not going to make it”. Then after a while, I realized that I had gone about 6 months feeding into this mess. I have wasted all of the time that could have been used enjoying myself locked into fear of dying.

As Christians, we are not exempt from dealing temptation and spiritual warfare. We have God’s promises even when we don’t feel like they are true or that he hears us or even that he is near to us.

Hear are some scriptures to help you during times of fear that I am currently implementing as I walk through releasing fear in certain areas of my life:

2 Corinthians 10:5 King James Version (KJV)

⁵Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

2 Timothy 1:7 New King James Version (NKJV)

⁷For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Philippians 4:13 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹³I can do all things through ^[a]Christ who strengthens me.

Dear God,

Please cover us in your blood from the crown of our heads to the soul of our feet. Please help us to know that you are near. You are the same God in every area of our lives, including fear. Help us to remember this, even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. I pray for a covering of hope, love, and peace.

In your name,

Amen

Thank you for listening to Healing our Brokenness, episode 41 entitled “Fear in Control”.

October 4, 2018April 27, 2021

Run For Your Life!

Background

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to literally run for your life? I have, and I tell you, it is no joke. I had to run to safety. I was right in the middle of going through a divorce, and there was an issue that came up for visitation to be ceased for a few days. Unfortunately, the order was ignored. My daughter and I continued to get call after call, and doorbell ring after doorbell ring. I told her to stay away from the door as both of our nervous systems went into hypervigilant mode. There is more on the hypervigilant mode of trauma here. And if you have been through any type of PTSD/trauma, you know this moment is like fear on steroids X 100 with you watching and waiting for when and where something will happen.

My dear friend called me while this was taking place. I was supposed to be attending a Divorce Support Group that night. There was no way that I was going to leave my daughter at home to deal with this situation. I texted two members of the group, telling them to have fun, and that I had serious situation going on at the homefront. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the fear. My system was jacked up with adrenaline, anxiety, and fear. That’s when my friend advised that I spend the night at her house. She said that I could have trouble on my hands all night if I didn’t. At this point, I was tired of getting the police involved.

PTSD, run, anxiety, depression, trauma, hypervigilant, emotional health, mental health — Photo by Michael Foster on Pexels.com

The Flight

I packed up our night clothes, my important papers, and clothes for the next day. I also had to call my son and get an okay for him to spend a night at a friend’s home. I told him that he was not to return home for any reason.

My friend pulled up to the garage, and my daughter and I ran to get into her jeep, and as she sped off, the three of us quickly glanced to the right, noticing a figure hanging over pretending as if it were limp.

We didn’t get much sleep that night because we were in hypervigilant mode, waking up every 20 minutes or so, having to both shut our phones down from the incessant ringing.

Biblical Analysis

Like myself, David was on the run for his life. Saul’s jealousy turned into anger, and his anger turned into madness: “And Saul was furious and resented this song. “They have ascribed tens of thousands to David,” he said, “but only thousands to me. What more can he have but the kingdom?” 9And from that day forward Saul kept a jealous eye on David. “1 Samuel 18: 8-9

Once David found out that Saul was going to kill him, he fled, having the king of Moab to house his parents, as I had to house my son overnight: From there David went to Mizpeh of Moab, where he said to the king of Moab, “Please let my father and mother stay with you until I learn what God will do for me.” 4So he left them in the care of the king of Moab, and they stayed with him the whole time David was in the stronghold.… 1 Samuel 22:3-4, BSB

However, David wasn’t able to stay there long. He was advised to leave, running from place to place, cave to cave for safety, but God was with him: Then the prophet Gad said to David, “Do not stay in the stronghold. Depart and go into the land of Judah.” So David left and went to the forest of Hereth.…1 Samuel 22:5, BSB

1 Samuel 23:7-14 King James Version (KJV)

⁷And it was told Saul that David was come to Keilah. And Saul said, God hath delivered him into mine hand; for he is shut in, by entering into a town that hath gates and bars.

⁸And Saul called all the people together to war, to go down to Keilah, to besiege David and his men.

⁹And David knew that Saul secretly practised mischief against him; and he said to Abiathar the priest, Bring hither the ephod.

¹⁰Then said David, O Lord God of Israel, thy servant hath certainly heard that Saul seeketh to come to Keilah, to destroy the city for my sake.

¹¹Will the men of Keilah deliver me up into his hand? will Saul come down, as thy servant hath heard? O Lord God of Israel, I beseech thee, tell thy servant. And the Lord said, He will come down.

¹²Then said David, Will the men of Keilah deliver me and my men into the hand of Saul? And the Lord said, They will deliver thee up.

¹³Then David and his men, which were about six hundred, arose and departed out of Keilah, and went whithersoever they could go. And it was told Saul that David was escaped from Keilah; and he forbare to go forth.

¹⁴And David abode in the wilderness in strong holds, and remained in a mountain in the wilderness of Ziph. And Saul sought him every day, but God delivered him not into his hand.

Even when we are at our lowest point, and in the depths of fear, God is with us.

Dear God,

We thank you for being our refuge when there is nowhere else to go. We pray that during times of crises, we would seek you like never before, knowing that you have an angel of armies running with us.

In your name we pray,

Amen

Have a blessed night all!

Katina

August 15, 2018April 22, 2021

The Call of Wisdom

She Cries in the Streets

It is very hard when we are going through things in life. It can be even harder when we are going through these things without using wisdom. The immediate response when trouble hits is to panic. It is natural. God created us to have emotions. What tends to happen is that when we panic, we oftentimes forget to give ourselves room to breathe. Room to pray, think about the situation, and breathe some more. Satan usually have our minds in such an uproar, that anxiety often takes over, and then instead of us praying and asking God for discernment in these situations, we become reactive instead of responsive. Anxiety and fear tells us that we have to come up with a solution right now. Wisdom tells us to wait on God for promptings of the Holy Spirit on the how, when, why of the response. Praise God that all we have to do is ask!

James 1:5: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

wisdom, trust, anxiety, fear

Wisdom, She Cries in the Streets

Wisdom, Wisdom, She Cries in the Streets:

“Put the knowing into doing,

And discernment we will greet.”

Wisdom, Wisdom, It is ours for the asking.

Helps us make the right decisions.

Fills the blanks in the lacking.

Wisdom, Wisdom, Right with God in the Beginning.

Everything ever so perfect,

Right before there came the sinning.

Wisdom, Wisdom, it is given to us freely,

All we have to do is ask,

Get right down to praying and kneeling.

Wisdom, Wisdom, far more precious than those rubies:

God’s great grace poured out to help us,

To perform our earthly duties.

Be blessed,

Katina

Proverbs 1: 20-33

8 Truths to Pass On To Our Older Children

August 7, 2018April 22, 2021

The Fear Aspect: Living with and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis

For the next two weeks, I am going to do a quick series on the ins and outs of living with trauma on a daily basis. I am not sure how many of you have dealt with trauma in the past or present, however, it is something that is more prevalent than one may think, and a lot of fears have trauma at the root of it.

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Women at 10.4 %, are twice as likely as men to experience PTSD. About 8 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma. I have been living with trauma all my life, unbeknownst to me.

What I didn’t realize is that a lot of my trauma manifested itself as fear during my younger years. After having compounded trauma within the last six and a half years, this fear effect gets multiplied. Unfortunately, when this happens, we can definitely pray, and start to take deep breaths to help ourselves calm down. However, the fear is so strong, that you would think that you are in an all out fight for your life. The fear gets multiplied by fifty.

About three years ago, my kids were at youth group at church, and a tornado swept through parts of the town where I lived, along with some of the other nearby towns. I was at home by myself. Praise God for community! My friends and I texted and called one another to make sure that everyone was okay. This discussion took place as I stood in the bathroom with the door closed, begging God for the weather to pass over.

My mother called to check on me since she heard that the tornado was headed our way. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was nervous. I called the kids at church, and they stated that one of the youth leaders, who was a fireman, told them where to go, and what to do. I knew that they would be fine, but I kept wondering if I would be okay. The townhome that I was living in was surrounded by large evergreens on all sides. I kept thinking to myself, if they were just here, then I would be okay.

Deep down, I knew that my kids couldn’t control God’s weather. However, I knew that it would make the out of control fear that trauma had placed on me to loosen up. I shifted between being okay, and feeling like my whole entire body had been tied up because my muscles were so tense.

Thank God that the weather did let up. The tornado didn’t hit my side of town, but it did hit all around the church. God protected the church. All the while, as I stood there in that bathroom, God had praise music going in my head. I knew that it was his sign that everything would be okay. However, because of the fear from trauma, I must be honest, my body was saying a different story. My kids made it home safely that night, and it was just another testament to God’s faithfulness, as trees had been knocked down everywhere from the tornado.

Have a blessed night!

Katina

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:23, NLT