Family dysfunction is learned behavior that has both been introduced into our DNA and socially adapted by what we see. It’s just like the old, saying, “monkey see monkey do.”
When we are not cognizant and self aware of our own patterns and behaviors, then we definitely cannot be other aware when it comes to the patterns and behaviors of individuals whom we are in relationship with. As the saying goes, we become the average of the five people that we hang out with the most.
And because we all have some type of brokenness, testing the spirits, inspecting the fruit like we do when we are in the produce department, and understanding our unresolved trauma, undealt with Brokenness, and proclivities, help us in knowing how to navigate the same familiar spirits in other people.
This is basically how you got hooked up with a narcissistic partner in the first place. Think of a AA battery. There is a plus and minus charge on each side. Your brokenness and how you define understand love is matched up with those same familiar spirits in him times 100, and on a whole Nother level.
When you understand your cycles, and the concepts that you have developed around love, you break the patterns, heal, and walk in wholeness.