Enmeshed

When it comes to enmeshment, things can get real tricky. Just like codependency. Think about having ten necklaces getting tangled together. Trust me, I have had it to happen before. It is not fun. As a matter of fact, the more you try to untangle the mess, the more they get entangled. And before we know it, our emotions are entangled with these necklaces.

We start making headway when we go to the beginning of the first necklace and then start pulling from there. It is the same thing when it comes to relationships.

The more that you try to untangle, the more entangled you will become. Getting to the root of the entanglement/enmeshment is where healing begins. It is also where the pain will lie as well. When you are entangled/enmeshed, you are depending on someone else’s feelings to make you happy, sad, angry, etc., and dictate your behavior in general.

You are literally being controlled by someone else’s emotional state. Another way of looking at it is to picture your backyard and your neighbor’s backyard. You both have fences. The fences serve as boundaries. However, you have decided to make your neighbor’s yard free reign to go in and out as you please.

Would your neighbor be upset? Of course!! Who wouldn’t?

This is what happens in an entangled/enmeshed relationship. You ignore each other’s boundaries to the point of having such free reign, that you suffocate one another. So how do you get out? Some form of therapy is definitely needed.

At the same time, so is getting to the root of your issues with identity, self-worth, and not enoughness where you have other people’s emotions serving as your literal lifeline.

Creating an empowered new chapter of life involves healing from past hurts. And healing from past hurts involves reclaiming your power and identity, and enoughness. Reclaiming this power and identity from healing will give you a new perspective and a higher level of resilience so that you can flourish.

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 47: Enough for Everybody or The Scarcity Mindset

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 47: Enough for Everybody or The Scarcity Mindset
/

Enough for Everybody Podcast Outline

  • Two Bird Observations
  • What Can We Learn from the Birds
birds, enough, scarcity, abundance, God is sovereign, God is in control, stewardship, ownership, Psalm 24:1, katina horton, valley of grace, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health,
Photo by Mukesh Mishra

Show Notes

Enough for Everybody

About a year ago, I was looking out of the kitchen window, and I thought that what I was witnessing was a bird fight.  Instead of it being a fight, it was more like bullying.  Bullying among two birds.  One robin decided that he wanted the other robin to leave the grass. (Granted there was more than enough room for both of them.) The second robin (victim) tried to stay there. 

However, the first robin (bully), continued to peck him.  The second robin went over to the bird bath to relax there.  And what do you know?  Mr. Bully came over there and pecked him until he left that area.  Eventually the second robin flew into the happy face tree (someone literally drew a happy face on the tree itself) and stayed there for a while.  This made the bully very happy.

 Reflection on Enough

In the spring, I saw several birds in the backyard after it rained.  No one had the bullying and victim title.  They were all scavenging for food after it rained.  They knew that there was more than enough to go around.

God revealed something to me in that very moment.  Sometimes we are like the two birds from a year ago.  We feel that we are not satisfied until we are the only star.  We feel that there will not be enough of God’s grace, goodness, and mercy to go around.  We think we have to fight in order to get the blessings, or there won’t be enough.

Other times, we are like the birds from the spring, realizing that there is more than enough, God is the one who owns it all, and is running it all. 

The earth is the Lord‘s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. (Psalms 24:1, KJV)

Even with whatever talent it is that he has blessed us with, he has to tell the door to open and to close.  Some of us will be blessed with a lot, and some of us will be blessed with little.  However, when we realize that there is more than enough for everybody, then we can look to God, rather than other people to receive the blessing.

“O my people, listen as I speak.
    Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
    I am God, your God!
 I have no complaint about your sacrifices
    or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.

But I do not need the bulls from your barns
    or the goats from your pens.
 For all the animals of the forest are mine,
    and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

I know every bird on the mountains,
    and all the animals of the field are mine.
 If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
    for all the world is mine and everything in it.

Do I eat the meat of bulls?
    Do I drink the blood of goats?
 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.” (Psalms 50:7-15, NLT)

Dear God,

We thank you for the gifts that you have blessed us with.  We pray that you will help us to realize that we don’t have to worry about being threatened by anyone else, because you have blessed all of us with different gifts/talents that are unique to us.  Please help us not to compete, but to work together for your glory.

In your name we pray,

Amen.

Devotional: Enough for Everybody

Background on the “Enough”

About a year ago, I was looking out of the kitchen window, and I thought that what I was witnessing was a bird fight.  Instead of it being a fight, it was more like bullying.  Bullying among two birds.  One robin decided that he wanted the other robin to leave the grass. (Granted there was more than enough room for both of them.) The second robin(victim) tried to stay there. 

However, the first robin(victim), continued to peck him.  The second robin went over to the bird bath to relax there.  And what do you know?  Mr. Bully came over there and pecked him until he left that area.  Eventually the second robin flew into the happy face tree(someone literally drew a happy face on the tree itself), and stayed there for a while.  This made the bully very happy.

 

 

brown and beige short beak claw foot bird on bird house
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Reflection on Enough

Last week, I saw several birds in the backyard after it rained.  No one had the bullying and victim title.  They were all scavenging for food after it rained.  They knew that there was more than enough to go around.

God revealed something to me in that very moment.  Sometimes we are like the two birds from a year ago.  We feel that we are not satisfied until we are the only star.  We feel that there will not be enough of God’s grace, goodness, and mercy to go around.  We think we have to fight in order to get the blessings, or there won’t be enough.

Other times, we are like the birds from last week, realizing that there is more than enough, God is the one who owns it all, and is running it all. 

The earth is the Lord‘s, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. Psalms 24:1, KJV

Even with whatever talent it is that he has blessed us with, he has to tell the door to open and to close.  Some of us will be blessed with a lot, and some of us will be blessed with little. 

birds, God, victim, enough, bully, ducks, tree
Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

“O my people, listen as I speak.
    Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
    I am God, your God!
I have no complaint about your sacrifices
    or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.

But I do not need the bulls from your barns
    or the goats from your pens.
10 For all the animals of the forest are mine,
    and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.

11 I know every bird on the mountains,
    and all the animals of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
    for all the world is mine and everything in it.

13 Do I eat the meat of bulls?
    Do I drink the blood of goats?
14 Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
    and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
15 Then call on me when you are in trouble,
    and I will rescue you,
    and you will give me glory.” Psalms 50:7-15, NLT

However, when we realize that there is more than enough for everybody, then we can look to God, rather than other people to receive the blessing.

Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasure and trouble therewith.

17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. 

Proverbs 15:16-17, KJV

Dear God,

We thank you for the gifts that you have blessed us with.  We pray that you will help us to realize that we don’t have to worry about being threatened by anyone else, because you have blessed all of us with different gifts/talents that are unique to us.  Please help us not to compete, but to work together for your glory.

In your name we pray,

Amen.