Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, sharing your pain, pouring out your heart and soul, only told to be told, “It’s not that bad!” Tune in to today’s podcast episode to find out if it is “that bad”.
Podcast Outline
What is Comparative Suffering?
What is empathy?
Why Comparing Pain is Bad?
How can we do better when talking about our pain?
Background Scripture: John 21
Question for the week: What will you do the next time that you are tempted to rank your pain with someone else’s?
What are some of the cliche terms that you have said when you tried consoling someone who was grieving?
Did you say these terms to avoid feeling the other person’s pain, or in a rush for the other person to feel better?
What are alternative words that can be said to someone who is suffering?
Do you have pain competitions with others when they are grieving in order to make them have a reality check, or yourself feel better because you feel that you have it worse than them?
What changes can you make to insure that people feel loved during their time of grief?
When it comes to toxic people, it’s not a matter of if they will gossip, judge, or criticize others, it’s a matter of when. Have you ever entertained a toxic person? If you did, what were your reasons? Did you have a lot of regrets afterwards? Do you remember other people being hurt?
The last poem that I wrote was entitled “Inner Circle”, and it deals with the conflict of deciding who to allow in your inner circle. Today’s poem is entitled Boundaries. It can be difficult to implement boundaries, but when you do, the payoff is rewarding. As with anything, the first step is always the hardest. God bless!
A few days ago, I wrote a poem entitled “The Shame Game”. You can find that one here. Today, I have another poem dealing with emotional health, and it is entitled, “Empathy, Empathy”.
Empathy, Empathy
It’s not the same as sympathy.
I understand just what you’re feeling.
“Not sorry for”,
It’s not the willing.
Photo by Matthew Henry at Burst by Shopify
I sit with you.
You sit with me.
It’s empathy.
Now, can’t you see?
Oh, yes I feel just what you feel.
It’s not a matter of the will.
I will not rush your pain at all.
In life we all must feel the fall.
I laugh with you.
You laugh with me.
We cry and cry.
Till tears are free.
Empathy, Empathy
It’s not the same as sympathy.
Bible Verses on Empathy
1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Romans 12: 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Ephesians 4: 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
The other day, I decided to write a quick poem on shame that God put on my heart. I discussed shame in regards to how it fits into trauma over a month ago. You can find that post here.
Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. (Isaiah 61: 7)
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:5)
That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day. (2 Timothy 1: 12)
I have been reading a variety of books lately. Along with this fact, I’ve also been listening to a lot of sermons. Sometimes, I have listened to so many sermons, and read so many books at one time, that I start to second guess myself as to which book or preacher said what. At this point, I usually have to go back and double check that I am giving the right author credit.
In this season of my life, I have been hearing God’s small voice repeatedly encouraging me along the way. I can picture myself taking off at the starting point with my number on, and God on the sidelines with his flag shouting, “Keep running! You can do it! ”
Earlier today, I was reading more of the book on leadership by Brene Brown. The chapter that I am now focusing on is dealing with empathy. Later this evening, I listened to a sermon by Joyce Meyer. As God would have it, she was also preaching on empathy. The key points that were stated from both is the following:
Empathy means being able to connect through the emotion that someone else is feeling.
Empathy doesn’t mean giving advice.
Having empathy shouldn’t lead to a comparison game of who has had the worst suffering.
A few nights ago, I decided to make what I call Simple Chicken Burgers. They turned out super moist and required very few ingredients.
Here is the recipe:
Activity: Making Simple Chicken Burgers
Total Prepping and Cooking Time: 25 minutes
Servings: 6
Ingredients:
1/3 cup of oatmeal
cumin (1 tb)
onion powder (1 tb)
garlic powder (1 tb)
1 16 oz. pack of ground chicken
2 tablespoons of flax seed meal
3 tablespoons of water
Directions:
Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in a skillet.
Dump all of the above ingredients into a bowl.
Make burger patty shapes with your hands.
Place the six patties into a skillet, or as many as you can at once. (use 2 skillets if necessary)
Take the burgers out when they are brown on both sides.
Top with hummus and garnish with basil or spinach if you like.
