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Episode 143: Lead Pastor Scott Distler: Toxic Relationships and Gaslighting in Ministry

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 143: Lead Pastor Scott Distler: Toxic Relationships and Gaslighting in Ministry
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It’s one thing to be a pastor. It’s a whole ‘nother level when you are faced with a Nehemiah situation of toxicity, gaslighting, and jealousy in the church. A lot of times, we think that the situation happened to us out of the blue. However, as the old saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

We saw signs leading up to this big blowup coming all along. We just didn’t really didn’t stop to think about it, or see if any course of action could have been taken in order to prevent it.

And sometimes, there really isn’t anything we could have done.

Why?

We cannot control other people. It’s just that simple. It’s impossible to love and control a person at the same time. Love is not love without there being complete freedom involved.

Rest assured:  there is hope, love, light, and freedom that’s waiting for you on the other side of the cave.

How to reach Pastor Scott Dristler:

Email: scottd@miefree.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/skdistler

Church Website: www.miefree.org

Book Website: http://covenantbooks.com/books/?book=the-cave 

Episode 142: From Stonewalling Prison to High Performance Coach

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 142: From Stonewalling Prison to High Performance Coach
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Have you ever lived with someone who didn’t speak 🗣to you for five years?

It definitely doesn’t sound like fun 🤩 and games.

And it isn’t.

It is spiritual warfare from the devil 👿 himself.

Unlike in a healthy relationship where “silent treatment” towards each other covers up the fact that you are angry 😡 , a toxic ☠️ relationship involves the toxic individual(s)“stonewalling.” 

Stonewalling 🪨 is just how it sounds.

The toxic person’s heart ❤️ has become a heart of stone.   And they have built up walls around them, ignoring you when you ask questions, and pretending like you do not exist.

How long does it last?

Simple – However long they want it to.

The purpose of stonewalling is to make you feel crazy, uncomfortable, alone, and most importantly, to have power 💪🏾 and control over you.

In other words, they have the upper hand 🤚 .

So, how do you get out of it? Listen 🎧 to the interview between Hazel Amin and I as she tells her story of how she went “From Stonewalling Prison to High Performance 🎭 Coach”.

Episode 141: 4 Things The Story of Samson & Delilah Teaches You About Toxic Relationships

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 141: 4 Things The Story of Samson & Delilah Teaches You About Toxic Relationships
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When you think of the Story of Samson and Delilah, you think about hair, strength, and a downfall.  The story of Samson and Delilah teaches you more than that.  It gives you the steps of the toxic relationship cycle from start to finish starting with the love-bombing, and then ending with the discard.

Episode 140: 8 Reasons Why You’re Not Healing From Narcissistic Abuse

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 140: 8 Reasons Why You're Not Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
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You seem to be doing everything that you need to do, but you are not healing. And for the life of you, you can’t figure out why. The thing is, you are really doing what it is you want to do, and not what you need. Take a listen.

In case you missed last week’s podcast, click here.

Episode 139: 6 Ways You Know You’re in a Toxic Relationship

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 139: 6 Ways You Know You're in a Toxic Relationship
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Everybody keeps talking about avoiding toxic ☠️ relationships.

But how do you know what to avoid if you don’t know what to look 👀 for?

Check out today’s episode:  “6 Ways to Know You Are in a Toxic Relationship” to Figure Out if your relationship is just broken 😞, or on a whole ‘nother level entitled “Toxicity.

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 138: 8 Things You Must Do When Dealing With Your Narcissistic Ex During the Holidays

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 138: 8 Things You Must Do When Dealing With Your Narcissistic Ex During the Holidays
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Who wants to deal with drama during the holidays? No one. We all want to live in peace and happiness, so to speak. Even if, as we talked about before, that peace and happiness is stemming from a false sense of peace.

There is still a desire. When you deal with the spirit of manipulation, namely, narcissism, during the holidays, it can turn your world upside down. Today, I will discuss several different things you must do in order to make that load lighter, and still be able to enjoy the holidays.

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 137: 10 Signs Your Narcissistic Ex is Going to Discard You

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 137: 10 Signs Your Narcissistic Ex is Going to Discard You
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What do you do with items that you no longer want? You discard of them, of course. What happens if you are the one being discarded? Yes, I know. It’s not a laughing matter.

After being in a toxic ☠ relationship so long, you are finally starting to see changes. You start thinking to yourself, “Praise God! Things are moving into a new season.” It’s a new season alright.

What you thought was a new season quickly turns into the roller coaster ride of your life. And your partner is the mechanic down below controlling all of the ride’s functions.

There is no riding 🚕 it out. Riding 🚕it out till the end equals you being left with an excessive amount of trauma. You are already enough. Open your 👀 and take off the blinders so you can see how to get off the rollercoaster and into the boat 🛶 with Jesus.

Until next time,

Katina

Episode 136: 4 Things That Happen When the Spirit of Distraction Meets up with the Spirit of Manipulation

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 136: 4 Things That Happen When the Spirit of Distraction Meets up with the Spirit of Manipulation
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Have you ever been distracted? If so, what happened as an end result? Did the end result help or harm your situation? Listen in as we dissect what happens when you drink the distraction and manipulation cocktail. I know. You probably didn’t know that it could be deadly.

Episode 135: 6 Things That Happen When the Spirit of Manipulation Uses You For Supply

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 135: 6 Things That Happen When the Spirit of Manipulation Uses You For Supply
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It’s getting cold outside. At least, that’s what’s happening here in the Midwest. Some people will be purchasing new batteries for their car. Other people will be purchasing new batteries for their games. These are not board games. They are games that narcissists play. Where do you fit in?

Episode 134: 6 Ways The Spirit of Manipulation and Entitlement Manifest Themselves in a Smear Campaign

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 134: 6 Ways The Spirit of Manipulation and Entitlement Manifest Themselves in a Smear Campaign
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It is so easy to smear something on a mirror.  All you have to do is to unknowingly have something on your hands, get closer to the mirror to see your makeup, hair, or face, accidentally touch the mirror, or use it for support, and there you go.  The next thing you know the mirror looks a hot mess. 

Unlike smearing mirrors, running campaigns are hard work.  You have to sit and think of all the people you would like to vote for you, do part of the work yourself, and then enlist other people who believe in your message to spread the word.

When the other person in a toxic relationship leaves you, they will start a smear campaign.  It is just the way it sounds.  It’s contemptuous and vindictive.  But there isn’t a thing you can do about it other than continuing to work on you.  And that work is reclaiming your power and identity so you will know you are enough.

Like with the mirrors, the smearing part of their job is easy.  Your name is run through the mud to everybody and their momma. 

The campaign part is what takes a lot of work.  Listen in to today’s podcast to find out how the smear campaign is run against you as you go through the court process, and then listen closely to see what happened when Jezebel got a hold of Naboth’s vineyard. 

Until next time,

Katina Horton