Episode 97: An Interview with Eston Swaby

Eston Swaby, validation, identity, rejection, episode 97, approval, money coach, healing our brokenness, confidence, brokenness
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 97: An Interview with Eston Swaby
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Have you ever wondered why you find yourself in the same patterns of behavior when it comes to dealing with rejection? Even more so, have you taken the time out to figure out the root cause of these issues? And if you have, what is stopping you from moving forward? Tune in to the interview that I had with Coach Eston Swaby to find out how he moved from the end result of rejection to where he is now. In case you missed my last interview with Jennifer Uren, the podcast host of This Mom Knows, you can catch that one here, and if you are looking to connect with Coach Eston Swaby, you can find him out on Facebook. Have a blessed Thursday, and I hope you enjoy the episode!

Eston Swaby, validation, identity, rejection, episode 97, approval, money coach, healing our brokenness, confidence, brokenness
Money Mindset Coach Eston Swaby

Podcast Topics

Money

Money and Mindset

Validation

Approval

Community

Unhealed and Healed Brokenness Affecting Writing & Speaking

Home

What Does Brokenness Mean

Identity

Fun Questions

Podcast Transcription

peaker 0 00:00:01 This is the healing our brokenness podcast, where we dissect problems and solutions that exist among broken people, living in a broken world. And we also believe that we’re going from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing, and the title of this episode is An interview with Eston Swaby. On yesterday, I was blessed with interviewing mindset coach Eston Swaby.

We talked about some of everything: his profession, how he came to be in the ministry, what brokenness means to him, etc. He shared his story, how community plays a role in healing our brokenness, how he unhealed and healed brokenness affects writing and speaking, and what the word home means to him. And then we got a chance to do some fun, personal questions, a lot of what we talked about centered around identity, validation, approval and rejection. And so without further ado, I am going to let you tune in to the interview between Eston Swaby and I.

Speaker 0 00:02:51 Okay. So.
Speaker 2 00:03:00 I worked with Kristin and Jacqueline, in the marketplace, they are the ones to make a big difference, sharing their message can be a gift because of peers and limiting beliefs. We are afraid of asking for what we want and really putting ourselves out there.

And if you don’t mind me asking, what are some of those negative beliefs? Okay.

So, limited beliefs that I, I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy.
It’s not going to work out. Money is the root of all evil. If I make lots of money, then I cannot be spiritual at the same time. And, so some of those limiting beliefs that’s really hold them back from really becoming the person that God has called him to be in the marketplace. I think the biggest one is that they believe that they are not more than that.
Speaker 2 00:04:30 Yeah. I know when you are in business to make more gains. And so part of that so really makes sense. So if you think about the word brokenness, what does that mean to you?

It is not a part of a whole.

So that, that stops. So that stops you from really becoming your true self. That is true.

Now, would you please share with the audience, your story?

Okay, so I was rejected, and because of that rejected, I thought I couldn’t achieve certain things. And so for many years, I thought that there was something wrong.

Speaker 2 00:06:30 So I said to myself, you know what, my life is not important.
When I looked in the mirror all I saw was brokenness. All I saw was someone that wasn’t, that wasn’t good and that no one knows. So what, what’s the purpose of living to see another day?

I wanted validation from outside sources, instead of looking internally, everybody need to really look into who does it say I am, right? So if people didn’t approve me, if people didn’t accept me, then the cause of my self worth was based on other people, and it was more painful, and necessary that I reach out to myself.

Speaker 2 00:08:19 Yes, exactly. And you know, when God called me. I thought that God must be crazy because there’s no way with this broken person. You know, sometimes we are in the position. I spoke for many years, I was sitting in the ministry. I was in ministry, but then I wasn’t behaving in a way that was. I was playing smaller when I started. And even when I started my business, that was the same thing. I wanted success. But at the same time, I never thought that I was deserving. I was done.

So the past experiences dealing with rejection, were you able to come out of that?
Speaker 2 00:10:04 Um, yes. I was able to come out with really the word of God, that is how. I’m not going to let people say I’m not good enough.

That is so true. Uh, why do you think that people stay in their brokenness for so long?

Because there’s some need that has not been met. Um, there are basic needs. The needs are safety, and physical needs. A person that stays in brokenness is believing something programmed in their minds.

Speaker 2 00:11:44 So it was all important too. And how you say it, as far as the mind and programming to think a certain way. And once we have those thoughts in our heads, then we will start to act on it. That’s how it works out.

Yes. That’s exactly how it works because everything starts when something happens, right. When you start a new experience, and someone rejects you, then you say, okay, maybe I’m not good enough. It starts with thoughts then creates emotion then emotions and the emotions creates limiting belief creates a behavior that may sense those thoughts. We internalize. Exactly, exactly. The reason we internalize what people say is because there is something broken inside of you.

That makes sense. It makes me think about as a teenager, how my self esteem was low and I already had thoughts about myself. And then when I heard another teenager, a teenage girl confirmed what I was already wrestling with, then I said, Oh, this must be true.

Speaker 2 00:14:43 WE have to go back to our thoughts. Those original beliefs.
Remember our success, love, joy and everything.

Yes. That is so true, man. That is some good stuff. So did, um, how do you think community plays a role in healing brokenness? And then the second part of that question is how did it play a role in healing, your brokenness?

Speaker 2 00:17:10 Okay. So, um, community is very important. Every day. You surround yourself with people. WE need to be with people with similar beliefs. Right? Right. For example, you maybe go to the church, and there are people who are broken and negative, and you say, I’m not ready for success. I feel that I believe that I’m not good enough for their success. If you can not start surrounding yourself with people that tell you that you are worthy, that speaks life into your spirits or that believe in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves, keeping that sees greatness in ourselves.

And that is true. And that’s the same thing that happens with me because I started to hang around people that didn’t treat me as the person who wanted to achieve certain goals.
Speaker 2 00:19:14 I started surrounding myself with other people who switched my mindset. They say that you are the sum total of the five people that you hang out with. Like with children. Their parents and family are those five people. That’s what determines who they are. And when you have this resilience, if you allow yourself to be shaped by your environment and the environment is going to shape you.

That is so true. How do you think healed both healed and unknown brokenness affects writing and speaking.

They a reflection of where you are. So if you are, let’s say, if you are writing a personal book, right. And you haven’t healed from your mess from rejection and maybe sense things that you are going to say, others will say, “they have an angry soul, right”?
Speaker 2 00:22:26 Because you’re writing from a place of brokenness, messiness. Writing should be refreshing. I’ve seen that personally in my own writing. I had to release certain people. Then I was able to read and write from a place of reflection and healing.

That is so true. Yes. Yes. That is so true. Now we got another question and that is, what does the word home mean to you?
Speaker 2 00:24:01 An internal place of safety. Not frustration or fear.

Speaker 2 00:26:47 Yes. I see what you’re saying.

Just so focused on either like the material aspects, being prominent, the money, the wealth, and not doing it because it’s what God has planned for your life. Regardless of if it’s gonna bring about a lot of money, a lot of fame, you have a lot of social media followers. That’s not the goal.

Yeah, exactly. I got some fun questions for you to answer. What are some of the books that you are reading now?
Speaker 2 00:27:45 Okay. I’m reading a book by Joyce Meyers surrender.

Oh, wow. And what are some of the things that you do to fill up your soul?
Speaker 2 00:29:26 I read my bible and hang out with positive people, start off by reading my Bible in the mornings.
Speaker 2 00:30:57 What do you think you would do to make a difference in the world?
Coaching. Where can people find you? Okay. The best place to find me is on Facebook. I’m on Facebook, my website, I’m really working on my website. Also. You can always reach out to me.

Wow. Okay.
Speaker 0 00:32:41 Thank you so much for your time. I’m so glad we were able to get those connection issues resolved. This has really been good. I appreciate it. So the healing brokenness podcast, episode 97 and interview with coach Eston Swaby.

Speaker 1 00:34:19 .

So, I hope it was something that was said here today that will resonate with your hearts as you go from broken relationships to resilience and flourishing. I want to give a shout out to Timothy Horton for bringing the intro and outro music to us every week.


Speaker 1 00:13:03 And that song is entitled Valley of Grace. And it can be found wherever music is sold. Healing Our Brokenness podcast is on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, and on Amazon music, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, etc. So, if this is blessing your life in any kind of shape, form or fashion, if you could please give a shout out to your friends, your neighbors, your family members, and ask them to follow us.

 Valley of Grace.

Black Folk Don’t Do Therapy

therapy, psychology, emotional health, mental health, black people, emotions, poetry, poetry community, angry black man, angry black woman, healing, slavery, post traumatic stress syndrome, post traumatic slave syndrome, showing emotions is a luxury, black lives matter

One of my goals this year is to dive into black poetry and literature at a whole ‘nother level. Doing so has helped me in healing, as well as being able to aide me in one of my current book projects: writing a 300 page poetry book.

As with any particular group of people, you can’t assume that what works for one, works for all. As a whole, there is a stigma behind black people doing therapy. This poem deals with that stigma, and hopefully will get some of us to open up at a deeper level. Due to blacks having to suppress their emotions way back from slavery times, it is both difficult, and deemed as unsafe for them to show their emotions in front of others.

therapy, psychology, emotional health, mental health, black people, emotions, poetry, poetry community, angry black man, angry black woman, healing, slavery, post traumatic stress syndrome, post traumatic slave syndrome, showing emotions is a luxury, black lives matter

The reality of the situation is that when blacks show emotions, particularly that of anger, we are labeled as the angry black man or woman, having a higher chance of the police being called. What is natural for others is a luxury when it comes to black people, and demonstrating emotions goes along with that.

I hope that this poem gives you some food for thought. I would love to start a discussion down below on your experience growing with emotions, and how it was handled. Be blessed!

Black Folk Don’t Do Therapy

Black folk don’t do therapy

We pray and we cry

Yep we cry in private

But in public our tears run dry.

Black folk don’t do therapy

We’re strong as a people

We just slay in the Spirit

Till our Prayers hit the steeple

Black folk don’t do therapy

We just hope and we pray

That our unhealed

Brokenness

Will up and leave us some day

Black folk don’t do therapy

‘Cause we think it’s a sin

If we bring down from

bondage

Generations had to win

Black folk must do therapy

‘Cause then we can negate

Ev’ry game that’s been

Played

‘Gainst the enemy

Called hate.

Black folk must do therapy

Till we break all devices

That’s been sewn

Into seeds.

Then planted

With preciseness

Black folk must do therapy

So our kids

Will one day see

That our growth,

Faith, and healing

Was a bicycle

Made For me.

Black History Part 2

Black History Part 1

Episode 96: An Interview with Jennifer Uren

this mom knows; emotional health; mental health; healing our brokenness podcast; timothy horton; katina horton; healing; psychology; connection; parenting; brokenness
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 96: An Interview with Jennifer Uren
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On yesterday, I had the pleasure of interviewing This Mom Knows’ podcast host, Jennifer Uren. Our conversation was enlightening, filled with wisdom, and that of comfortability. If you are a mother, you know how daunting the task of motherhood can be. The first walk down that street is usually the hardest. At least that is what everyone says; that the first child is an experiment, so to speak, and then we have it from there.

this mom knows; emotional health; mental health; healing our brokenness podcast; timothy horton; katina horton; healing; psychology; connection; parenting; brokenness
Jennifer Uren, This Mom Knows Podcast Host

What if you had a parenting manual with the whole thing figured out before you even started the journey? Wouldn’t we all be happier for it! Jen and I discussed this very thing, along with several other topics listed down below. If you missed the last podcast interview with Alison Simmons, you can grab that one here.

Here are the links to the last two podcast episodes in general (You might want to check these out with it being the last day of black history month.) Bless ya! :

Black History Part 1

Black History Part 2

An Interview with Jennifer Uren Topics

  • What Does Being a Mom Really Mean?
  • What Makes a Good Podcaster?
  • Relationships
  • Parenting
  • Procrastinating
  • Task-Oriented people
  • Traditions
  • Podcasting
  • Personal Questions
  • Parenting Styles
  • Differences Between Podcasting and Writing
  • Brokenness
  • Healed and Unhealed Brokenness
  • How Brokenness Affects Our Work

Sign Up for This Mom Knows podcast!

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Episode 95: Black History Part 2

black history, black author, black literature, down South, Memphis, Lorraine Motel, Dr. King, marching, freedom, whites, blacks, emotional health, PTSD, whites only, blacks only, podcaster, podcasting
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 95: Black History Part 2
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Today’s episode, Black History Part 2, takes you back and forth through a history of racism, spirituality, and how they all stretch back to the cross. In case you missed Part 1, you can catch that one here.

black history, black author, black literature, down South, Memphis, Lorraine Motel, Dr. King, marching, freedom, whites, blacks, emotional health, PTSD, whites only, blacks only, podcaster, podcasting
Episode 95: Black History Part 2

Black History Part 2 -Poetry Readings

  • You’re Black
  • Black Folk Don’t do Therapy
  • Cry
  • Empathy, Empathy
  • I Am the Vine, and so is it Time?
  • Hairy Sandwiches
  • He Speaks
  • Black Beauty Supply Store
  • And Many More

Furthermore, I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered My covenant. 6Therefore tell the Israelites: ‘I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians and deliver you from their bondage. I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. 7I will take you as My own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.…

Exodus 6: 5-7

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Podcast Transcription

Speaker 0    00:00:05    We dissect problems and solutions that exist among broken people, living in a broken world. We believe that talking through our stories is the path that leads to walking through our healing. On episode 94, we had black history part one. And I shared with you guys a reading from a republished book that I did, I had written it five years ago, as I explained in episode 94. But just to kind of give a quick recap, I self-published my memoir, The Journey in 2016.

And so, in a couple more weeks, it’s going to be the five-year anniversary.  I revamped the whole entire book and did some of the reading on episode 94.  So, if you miss that one, you might want to stop this episode and go back and listen to it. 

Speaker 0    00:01:16    I am going to do several readings of poetry today.  Some of the readings will come from either one of three books that I’ve written. The first one is called My Blackness. The next book is called Surrendered. The third book is called Simply Grace. And then for the other poems, I have not given a title to that particular book yet.  

And I am hoping and praying that you find something in the poetry that is like a balm to your soul. Something that resonates with you, might be a come to Jesus moment. It might just be something that you’d need to have to get you through the rest of this week. So, without further ado, here are the poetry readings. 

Speaker 0    00:03:33    The first poem that I am going to refer to you is entitled beauty supply store. I love going to the beauty supply store, looking at all the possibilities for my hair, looking at the limited amount of money in my pocket and trying to figure out how to stretch it like Madea does when she sends us to the meat market. I love looking at the scarfs and the grease and the hair oil and the straightening combs and curling irons.

And let’s not forget the blow dryers and the plastic caps for hot oil treatments and keeping the condition in longer so we can get the kinkiness out. I love looking at the jewelry, trying to find the right pair of earrings, ones that express me, my personality, my blackness, my uniqueness. 

Speaker 0    00:04:32    The next poem that I am going to read to you is entitled hair products. Where’s the blue magic? right here. I got coconut blue, green. Which one you need? I’m not sure yet, but maybe I’ll try Ultra Sheen, right here. I got green or blue. Which one do you need? Not sure yet. Okay. Where’s the let’s jam? Right here. Don’t want too much flakiness on my head. Just what products will I choose for my hair? Not sure yet. Just not there.  Too many to choose from. This is what happens when you enter the beauty supply store for the black person’s hair. 

Speaker 0    00:05:32    The next poem that I would like to read to you is entitled prayers. Saying those prayers at night, as my mom tucks me in so tight, rubbing my back, singing those songs, saying those prayers, you know, the ones that start,” Now I lay me”, those prayers. Yes.

And those prayers, the ones that your mom taught you as a baby in her womb, when it became unknown, your life’s paths would have to resurrect itself from the soul, denied betrayal. Our ancestors and forefathers fought hard to bring them. Saying those prayers at night, as my mom tucks me in so tight. The last one that I’m going to read is actually a quick short story and is called Hairy sandwiches.

Speaker 0    00:06:48    When you are growing up black, you know, there are certain things that call for good times, relatives visiting in the North from down-South and vice versa. Having a community that centers on food, dancing and pressing hair as a kid. When my relatives from down-South visited us in Chicago, you could be sure there was going to be a good time had by all. 

My mom and my aunts would tell jokes and talk about old times like it was yesterday. I never grew tired of hearing the same old stories.  My cousin Fifi came to Chicago and stayed with my grandmother for three days.  At the end of her visit, we decided that we would ride back to Memphis with her. Not only would we get a chance to visit with her while she was here, but she was going to press my hair at Madea’s Beauty Shop beforehand, before heading back to Memphis. 

Speaker 0    00:07:45    And I had to admit Fifi pressed hair just as good as Madea.  Before leaving Chicago, I got my hair done. It was nice and slick on my head and I was ready.  Why I had her to go through all this trouble, knowing that my hair was going to draw back as soon as I hit the Memphis sun, I don’t know.  Fefe decided she would make what the black folks called the best thing ever, fried bologna and cheese sandwiches. The secret in making these sandwiches was making sure that they were only slightly burnt. That way you knew they would be perfect.  

She prepared the sandwiches, chips, cookies, and drinks, and we all piled inside of the car. After a few hours of traveling, the kids were dying of hunger. One of the adults mentioned something about grabbing a sandwich out of the bag. I grabbed one sandwich out of the foil and took a bite.  The sandwich tasted so good, but something did not feel right on my tongue. The texture of whatever I was tasting was not that of bologna, bread, or condiments. I tried to ignore it, but my gut told me that something was wrong. I opened my mouth and then pulled it out a small ball of hair with a string coming out of it. 

Speaker 0    00:09:24    Do I tell them? And also, do I keep it to myself? That was the question of the day. I decided I would not say anything at all. It was just one sandwich. I opened the bag again, partially opening the foil for each of the other sandwiches. They all had small balls of hair in them as well. Cookies, chips, and drinks sounded more appetizing. It was a long hungry ride to Memphis.  To this day, I don’t remember if I ever told anyone in the car about the sandwiches, or if they found out on their own.  The moral of this story is to never prepare food in the same location of Madea’s beauty shop.  It could be a hairy experience for all.

Speaker 0    00:10:22    He speaks is the title of this poem: He speaks but where will it be? In a message in a song, or the birds in the tree? Will it be in the midst of the wind blowing at night? Will it be in the calmness of the cricket singing in flight? In the morning when the rabbit is talking to squirrels or the munks tunneling through grass and the Robins dancing a twirl? Will it be in the waves that are splashing on the beach or the smiles of the saints as they’re waving hi, to me?

Will it be in the sun that is setting in the sky or the swans overhead that are reaching by and by? When he speaks, Will I hear him, same voice as before, or will it be with great trumpet, all of that, And even more? The next poem is entitled recovery. It’s recovery it’s recovery. It requires lots of discovery. What I think. what I feel, what my body tells me is real. Though it’s hard it’s recovery. God is there. In this discovery.

Speaker 0    00:12:01    And the last form from this book that I’m going to read is entitled reunion. hey left me for dead, But sold me instead. Endured being in chains, As favor surely reigned. Became second in command, Till the wife wanted my hand. In charge of the prison.

NO Release.

Just indecision. Till the king  had his dream. God revealed  all the means. Gave God  all the credit. My life story  had an edit.

Then my brothers  showed up in hunger. Couldn’t take it  any longer.

Told all the servants  To leave the room.

As I cried out 

Deeply Woven in mounds of gloom. Hugged them deep  and cried out long. Filled our souls  and showed up strong. The reunion wasn’t expected. But God’s grace had it protected.

Speaker 0    00:13:06    Okay? The next series of poems I’m going to read is from a book that is entitled Simply Grace. I am the vine and so, is it time? The deep wet dirt of the earth pulls me in as my little coral bells are just dancing in the wind. Then the dear clematis vine He shouts loud with his trumpet from the East to the West. You don’t miss his triumphant. I am the vine. You are the branches just trust in me. I’ll take you through the trenches, parts of my vine is tied to the trellis. And then part of me sits on the earth where this mess is.  Then the dear clematis vine, He shouts loud with his trumpet from the East to the West. You don’t miss his triumphant. I am the vine. You are the branches just trust in me. 

Speaker 0    00:14:11    I’ll take you through the trenches. Then the husbandman gives orders to the dear clematis vine. It’s just not the hour yet.  It’s just not the time.   I wrap around, the heucheras, the heucheras the color of wine.  And I pray in the garden till beads of sweat So intertwined.  Then the husbandman calls out it is time for the trellis. I will send out relief through a comforter where this mess is.  Then the dear clematis vine, he shouts loud with his trumpet, from the East to the West, you don’t miss his triumphant.  I am the vine. You are the branches. Just trust in me.  I’ll take you through the trenches. 

Speaker 0    00:15:02    My next poem deals with identity. And sometimes even when we think we’ve got it down pat, the devil will come and run amuck on us and have us question everything all over again. And that’s when we have to speak words of life over our souls to get ourselves grounded. So the name of this poem is entitled. Who am I?

Who am I? I am a child of the King. Did you see his right hand? My name is printed with a ring. Who am I? Who am I? I am a princess and a daughter, drafted in Royal priesthood in his image and his order.  Who am I? Who am I? I am promised that I’m his, he’s my maker and my husband. He’s my counselor and my friend. 

Speaker 0    00:16:02    The next poem that I’m going to read is called cries of the heart. I cried. I cried from all of this trauma. Oh my dear Lord. Did I need any more drama? Oh my dear child, please come close. Just draw near. Let me whisper a little something in those precious little ears. I have plans for you. Plans to prosper, not to harm, meditate on my word, and you’ll never be alarmed, for this Trauma is a Thorn, a thorn in your flesh, but it’s also a gift that will put you to the test.  The things that I show you are great things from above, not vanity or conceit, they are given to you with love. And the last poem I’m going to read from this book is entitled empathy. Yeah. 

Speaker 0    00:17:05    It’s not the same as sympathy. I understand just what you’re feeling. Not sorry for. It’s not the willing.   I sit with you. You sit with me. It’s empathy, now, Can’t you see? Oh yes. I feel just what you feel.  It is not a matter of the will. I will not rush your pain at all.  In life, We all must feel the fall. I laughed with you. You laugh with me. We cry and cry till tears run free.  Empathy, empathy.  It’s not the same as sympathy.

Okay? So the last group of poems that I’m going to read, are not in any book yet. 

You’re black

You’re black

Your dignity

And integrity,

Self-respect

Not kept in tact.

Because

you see

Your skin

Erases

all those things

And all we see is lack.

I’m not complaining.

‘Motionally draining,

And with my service

I give back.

So, wash, and rinse,

And dry again.

And just absorb

Those facts.

My Hair is Nappy

My hair is nappy and kinky

Don’t you see the bees

In the back

I don’t look pretty

Look crazy and silly

Matter fact, these

‘tails look whack

Your hair is beauty

It’s my creation

Your hair, the glory

Part of me.

You queen from Africa

Queen from Sonship

Queen from My Identity.

Speaker 0    00:20:34    The next poem is entitled Get up here

Wash those dishes

We better hurry

‘fore Madea

Come down

And blast us

With those switches

Add the water

Then the soap

Then pour plenty

Of that bleach

Till the smell reaches

Our lungs,

Becomes more like a leech.

 So that was get up here. There’s a lot of stigma in the black community around emotions. A lot of it has come from post-traumatic stress syndrome and post traumatic slave syndrome.

Suppression

Cry

Just cry

Just let it all out

You see crying is a luxury

From when slavery came about

Hold it in

Just suppress

Don’t you say a mumblin’

Word.

To your wife

Or your kids

As we gather them like herds.

Black folk don’t do therapy.

Black folk don’t do therapy.

We pray and we cry.

Yep, we cry in private.

But in public our tears run dry.

Black folk don’t do therapy.

We’re strong as a people.

We just slay in the Spirit.

Till our Prayers hit the steeple.

Black folk don’t do therapy.

We just hope and we pray.

That our unhealed

Brokenness

Will up and leave us some day.

Black folk don’t do therapy.

‘Cause we think it’s a sin

If we bring down from

bondage

Generations had to win.

Black folk must do therapy.

‘Cause then we can negate

Ev’ry game that’s been

Played

‘Gainst the enemy

Called hate.

Black folk must do therapy.

Till we break all devices

That’s been sown

Into seeds.

Then planted

With preciseness.

Black folk must do therapy.

So our kids

Will one day see

That our growth,

Faith, and healing

Was a bicycle

Made For me.

Speaker 0    00:24:01    I want to thank you for being faithful listeners each and every week. And I also want to ask you to follow us on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or Youtube, if we are making a difference in your life. And then I want to give a shout out to Timothy Horton for bringing us our intro and outro music each week.  Until Next Time.

Music plays.

Episode 94: Black History Part 1

black history, black author, black literature, down South, Memphis, Lorraine Motel, Dr. King, marching, freedom, whites, blacks, emotional health, PTSD, whites only, blacks only, podcaster, podcasting
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 94: Black History Part 1
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This week’s episodes are focusing on Black History month and Black Literature. In this episode, I am doing a reading from “The Journey”. You are able to get a picture of what it was to live in the South in the 1960’s, along with the dynamics of being black. I hope that you enjoy this reading, and that something that is read will resonate with your soul as you listen to Black History Part 1.

black history, black author, black literature, down South, Memphis, Lorraine Motel, Dr. King, marching, freedom, whites, blacks, emotional health, PTSD, whites only, blacks only, podcaster, podcasting

Black History Part 1 Outline

  • Importance of Stories
  • Importance of Acceptance of Our Stories
  • My Story
  • Living in the South
  • Civil Rights
  • The Great Migration

Exodus 6:5-7

Furthermore, I have heard the groaning of the Israelites, whom the Egyptians are enslaving, and I have remembered My covenant. 6Therefore tell the Israelites: ‘I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians and deliver you from their bondage. I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. 7I will take you as My own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.…

Episode 93: An Interview with Grace Over Perfection’s Podcast Host Alison Simmons

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At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Episode 93: An Interview with Alison Simmons

Alison Simmons, grace over perfection host, episode 93, katina horton, podcasting, podcaster, podcasting community, divorce, marriage, parenting, perfectionism, grace, failure, women, minstry, healing our brokenness, healing our brokenness podcast
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 93: An Interview with Alison Simmons
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Hello all, and happy Thursday! Two weeks ago, I did an interview with Alison Simmons. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with her, Alison is a mother, Woman of God, Blogger, and the podcast host of Grace Over Perfection.

By the time we finished talking, I felt like I’d had a three-in-one session of therapy, support group, and sisterly fellowship. God is like that, giving us what we need when we need it. I hope that you re as blessed as I was when you tune into this interview.

Alison Simmons, grace over perfection host, episode 93, katina horton, podcasting, podcaster, podcasting community, divorce, marriage, parenting, perfectionism, grace, failure, women, minstry, healing our brokenness, healing our brokenness podcast

An Interview with Alison Simmons Topics

  • Podcasting
  • Roadblocks
  • Podcasting vs. Writing
  • Inspiration
  • Unique Knowlege/Expertise
  • Life Story
  • What Brokenness Means
  • Effects of Healed and UnHealed Brokenness on Podcasting
  • Community Help
  • Home
  • Requirements for Podcasting
  • Marriage
  • Divorce
  • Podcasting Genres
  • Fun Questions

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threestrand cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Other podcasting interviews:

An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 1
An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2

Crystal’s book

At Valley of Grace, we believe in thriving. In order to thrive, we have to begin grounding ourselves in our identity. The first step in making this happen, is dealing with the effects of our childhood wounds. Click here to get started in Online Therapy today.****This is an amazon affiliate link where a commission is paid to offsite the cost of providing this information to you.

Almond Chocolate Chip Cookies

almond chocolate chip cookies, healthy eating, vegan recipes, lifestyle, katina horton, lifestyle blogger, blogging community, food photography, simple functional grace-filled living

It seems that I am always making some version of chocolate chip cookies. A couple of weeks ago, I made almond chocolate chip cookies again. Every time that I make them, I usually tweak a few things. Sometimes this is on purpose. Other times it’s because I am out of something, and desperate for something sweet.

When we are lacking something, we can focus on the lack, or we can come out of our scarcity mindset, let our creative juices start flowing, and see what God gives us as an alternative. God is the God of abundance.

Here is the recipe:

Ingredients

  • 1/2 bag of Enjoy Life mega chunk chocolate chips
  • 2 capfuls of almond extract
  • 1/3 cup of slivered almonds
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1 cup of almond milk
  • almond oil -1/2 cup
  • 1/4 cup of flaxseed meal
  • 1 1/2 cups of almond flour
  • 1 cup of oatmeal for binding and thickness
almond chocolate chip cookies, healthy eating, vegan recipes, lifestyle, katina horton, lifestyle blogger, blogging community, food photography, simple functional grace-filled living
Photo by Katina Horton

Directions

  • Dump all the above ingredients into a huge mixing bowl.
  • Mix everything with a wooden spoon.
  • Place in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.
  • Using a cooking scoop or tablespoon, scoop purposely uneven portions of the cookie mixture onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.
  • Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes. The more cookies on the sheet, the longer it will take.
  • You might want to use two cookie sheets.
  • Enjoy!

Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Coconut Lemon Cookies

Episode 92: An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2

crystal daye, brand strategist, identity, writing, podcasting, podcaster, christian author, award-winning author, international speaker, grounded in your identity, business, books, purpose, passion, lifestyle blog, katina horton, healing our brokenness podcast, episode 91
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 92: An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 2
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Last week, I did an interview with Crystal Daye, a firehouse, on a mission from God. Crystal and I talked about so many different things. And as we carried on our conversation, we lifted each other up in the Spirit.

In case you missed part 1, check it out here. Don’t forget your pen and paper as you listen to Part 2, An Interview with Crystal Daye. Be blessed!

crystal daye, brand strategist, identity, writing, podcasting, podcaster, christian author, award-winning author, international speaker, grounded in your identity, business, books, purpose, passion, lifestyle blog, katina horton, healing our brokenness podcast, episode 91
Author Crystal Daye

An Interview with Crystal Daye Podcast Outline

  • Grounded in Identity
  • Purpose and Passion
  • Healed and Unhealed Brokenness
  • How Brokenness Affects Podcasters
  • Community and Brokenness
  • Requirements for a Good Podcaster
  • Webinar
  • Home
  • Fun Things

Crystal’s new book: Dear Insecurity

Crystal’s podcast: Diary of a Jesus Girl

God bless!

Katina

Episode 91: An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 1

crystal daye, brand strategist, identity, writing, podcasting, podcaster, christian author, award-winning author, international speaker, grounded in your identity, business, books, purpose, passion, lifestyle blog, katina horton, healing our brokenness podcast, episode 91
Healing Our Brokenness
Episode 91: An Interview with Crystal Daye-Part 1
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Crystal Daye, an author, speaker, and podcaster is my next guest on the show. And when I tell you that the experience was out of this world, it was. When the interview was over, I was ready for some serious Holy Ghost shouting.

There were so many good nuggets in this interview. Before you listen, you will want to grab a pen and some paper, and take notes on her Holy-Spirit inspired message. Remember, this is black history month, and I want to support my black sisters and brothers in the industry. Please check out Crystal’s new book: Dear Insecurity on Amazon Enjoy!

crystal daye, brand strategist, identity, writing, podcasting, podcaster, christian author, award-winning author, international speaker, grounded in your identity, business, books, purpose, passion, lifestyle blog, katina horton, healing our brokenness podcast, episode 91
Crystal Daye

Crystal’s Bio:

Crystal Daye is an award-winning author, international speaker, certified empowerment coach for life and business and Jesus Girl, who has mentored and coached countless women of all ages. As a Brand Strategist and COO of DayeLight Publishers, she helps women of faith and solopreneurs to maximize their message through writing books and launching profitable empowerment-based businesses. Due to growing up in poverty, Crystal was told that she would never be successful; she became resolute to not settle for mediocrity but instead she uses her story to impact lives all over the world. 

After living a life of partying, poverty, promiscuity, being abused and struggling with feelings of inadequacy, she encountered Jesus Christ in the midst of her brokenness. She now passionately empowers women to live wholesome godly lives through her books, coaching programs and her podcast called “Diary Of A Jesus Girl”. Crystal enjoys cooking, traveling and spending time with her beautiful daughter Christelle.

An Interview with Crystal Daye Podcast Outline

  • Podcasting
  • Roadblocks
  • Podcasting vs. Writing
  • Diary of a Jesus Girl
  • Uniqueness
  • Identity
  • Grounding

Last podcast interview with Erin Thompson

Part 1

Part 2

Practical Ways to Put Self-Care in Your Life (and Why You Should Do It)

practicing self-care, lifestyle blogger, katina horton, therapy, psychology, emotional health, mental health, wellness, routine, motivation, simple functional grace-filled living

Happy Saturday all! Today, I am featuring a guest blog post from fellow blogger Gabriel Patel. He enjoys writing about health and wellness, and co-founded Health Well Wise with a group of friends who share the desire to help people live happy, healthy lives. ***************

Self-Care Defined

When we practice self-care regularly, it works wonders for our mental and emotional health. It can boost our self-esteem because it’s a way to prove to ourselves that our bodies and minds are worth taking care of. It can enhance our self-awareness and reveal to us new interests and passions. Self-care fosters self-improvement and help us to be more productive and able to care for others.

practicing self-care, lifestyle blogger, katina horton, therapy, psychology, emotional health, mental health, wellness, routine, motivation, simple functional grace-filled living
Image by Unsplash

In short, self-care is exactly what the term suggests: caring for the “self” so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective in your everyday life. And the best part about it is that self-care is not some out-of-reach aspiration; there are practical ways to work self-care into your regular routine. Here are some ideas from Valley of Grace to get you started:

Eat with Health in Mind

Diet is one thing that keeps a lot of people from enjoying everyday health and well-being. But nutrition is the fuel your body and mind run on, and what you put into your body matters. Cutting back on processed foods and sugary drinks and opting for more whole foods in your diet can make a world of difference. There are even certain foods that can help you fight depression, such as avocados, beans, bananas, sweet potatoes, and fatty fish.

Focus Your Fitness

Aside from the obvious physical health benefits, regular exercise can go a long way in improving your mental and emotional health, and it has a way of motivating you to make other healthy decisions in your everyday routine. Consider HIIT, which enables you to get in intense, effective workouts in a shorter amount of time than many other forms of exercise. In fact, even a 7-minute workout can activate endorphins in your brain and provide you with energy for the rest of your day!

One of the best ways you can track your progress and keep yourself motivated is to utilize fitness apps. To get the most out of your apps, you’ll need a high-functioning smartphone. If your device is more than a few years old, many wireless providers offer discounted smartphones when their customers trade in their older models.

See a Counselor

Seeking help from a counselor can also make a big difference in your everyday life, as you can likely find a counselor who specializes in whatever you are struggling with. Since appointments can add up over time, be sure to review your insurance to see if counseling visits are covered. But note this can be tricky for seniors depending on coverage. For instance, Medicare Part B usually covers the costs of some mental health services. Regardless of your age, policies often change each year, so stay on top of your coverage so that you can modify it if necessary.

Make an Appointment with Yourself

Finally, it’s essential to schedule time with yourself; otherwise, it’s not likely to happen. This includes making time to care for your personal hygiene and enjoying relaxing activities—whether that means getting a massage or facial, going for a hike, or starting a hobby.

This also includes your sleep schedule. Prioritize your sleep like you do work, school, or any other activity in your life. Come up with a relaxing bedtime routine, and go to bed and wake up at the same times each day. When your mind and body are well-rested, it will make a significant difference in how you feel overall, and it will help you to be more productive with your days.

If you want to improve your mental health and well-being, start by finding ways to practice self-care in your everyday life. Pay attention to the foods you eat and find quick, effective workouts to add to your routine. Look for a counselor who can help guide you through your struggles, and schedule time for yourself to ensure that relaxation and sleep are a part of your life.

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