Devaluation is Emotional Dumping
Devaluation is the process of taking any person, place, thing or idea/concepts, and reducing the value to anything less than what the manufacturer of that person, place, thing, or idea/concept has given it.
It is good to think of the saying that goes, “what is one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. “
What one person may name is valuable, another person may look at as not bringing as much value to them, and or not having any value at all. However, when it comes to human beings, the only person that we can look to for value affirmation is God.
Devaluation becomes so toxic because it wears down the soul over time. From the time that we are children all the way up through adulthood, we have interacted with people in various arenas, who have possibly devalued us , and damaged our souls.
And when devaluation piles up over time , it creates trauma. And unresolved trauma and undealt with brokenness means that we are handling this devaluation in one of three ways: blowing it through someone else, throwing it away by processing and reframing it, or internalizing it through self hatred.
David’s brother,Eliab, was jealous of him, and his anointing and so he decided that the only way to offload the emotions he was unable to deal with, was to devalue David in front of the other army troops.
And Eliab, his eldest brother, heard when he spoke unto the men; and Eliab’s anger was kindled against David and he said, “Why camest thou down hither? And with whom hast thou left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know thy pride and the willfulness of thine heart, for thou hast come down that thou mightest see the battle.”
1 Samuel 17:28
Because narcissists use other people as supply, which is nothing more than an emotional regulator, their refusal to deal with their own emotions and issues means that other people are ongoing devaluation/emotional dumping grounds. The only way that this dynamic changes is when the people who are in relationships with them see their value as God sees it. Royalty. Priesthood. Righteousness of God in Christ.
When we see our value/worth as God sees it, upholding gaslighting, blame-shifting, deflecting, manipulation, triangulation, future faking, etc, tactics become a thing of the past.
Instead of us, playing along to get along, we will say, “ain’t nobody got time for this!” And then remove ourselves from the situation.