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Devaluation is Emotional Dumping

Devaluation is the process of taking any person, place, thing or idea/concepts, and reducing the value to anything less than what the manufacturer of that person, place, thing, or idea/concept has given it.

It is good to think of the saying that goes, “what is one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. “

What one person may name is valuable, another person may look at as not bringing as much value to them, and or not having any value at all. However, when it comes to human beings, the only person that we can look to for value affirmation is God.

Devaluation becomes so toxic because it wears down the soul over time. From the time that we are children all the way up through adulthood, we have interacted with people in various arenas, who have possibly devalued us , and damaged our souls.

And when devaluation piles up over time , it creates trauma. And unresolved trauma and undealt with brokenness means that we are handling this devaluation in one of three ways: blowing it through someone else, throwing it away by processing and reframing it, or internalizing it through self hatred.

David’s brother,Eliab, was jealous of him, and his anointing and so he decided that the only way to offload the emotions he was unable to deal with, was to devalue David in front of the other army troops.

And Eliab, his eldest brother, heard when he spoke unto the men; and Eliab’s anger was kindled against David and he said, “Why camest thou down hither? And with whom hast thou left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know thy pride and the willfulness of thine heart, for thou hast come down that thou mightest see the battle.”

1 Samuel 17:28

Because narcissists use other people as supply, which is nothing more than an emotional regulator, their refusal to deal with their own emotions and issues means that other people are ongoing devaluation/emotional dumping grounds. The only way that this dynamic changes is when the people who are in relationships with them see their value as God sees it. Royalty. Priesthood. Righteousness of God in Christ.

When we see our value/worth as God sees it, upholding gaslighting, blame-shifting, deflecting, manipulation, triangulation, future faking, etc, tactics become a thing of the past.

Instead of us, playing along to get along, we will say, “ain’t nobody got time for this!” And then remove ourselves from the situation.

The Self-Righteous Cerebral Narcissist-Bonus Episode

The self-righteous cerebral narcissists in your life are the Pharisees, plain and simple.  This bonus episode dives a little deeper into their brokenness, arrogance, and legalism that so many of us tend to miss.  As my grandmother used to say, “If it was a snake, it would have bit you.”  Listen in to the latest podcast episode. Be blessed! #emotionalhealth #psychology #narcissism #narcissist #selfrighteouscerebralnarcissist #empath #virtuesignaling #control

Your Wilderness Season Reveals the Self-Righteous Cerebral Narcissist

You had one instance of the countenance of your friend changing towards you. That was it. However, you still don’t feel 100% free to be vulnerable with them when it comes to your trials, tribulations, trauma, and drama. There’s a reason for it. Listen in to my latest podcast episode. Catch the last podcast episode here. #love #loveandfreedom #toxicrelationships

Did You Pick Up The Right Bag of Fruit?-Toxic Relationships

Sometimes our friends, family, and coworkers may approach us and ask, “ how do you know if a person you are dating or in any other relationship with has good intentions?”

And that seems like a very difficult question to answer. We’ve come up with all different kinds of secret formulas to make this happen. The bottom line is: we have the Holy Spirit, who is our helper, teacher, counselor, comforter, and indwelling friend. And we often forget that.

And then, along with the Holy Spirit aiding us in testing the spirits of the individuals we interact with on a daily basis, we also have the ability to evaluate fruit. If every time we come in contact with certain individuals, and all they do is slander other people, then we know that the fruit they are bearing would be slanderers.

Pretty soon, we will be slanderers.

It’s kind of like going to the grocery store. It’s rare that we end up purchasing bad fruit on purpose. This usually happens if we are buying fruit by the bag. Four instance, if we are purchasing a bag of apples, oranges, tangerines, etc. It’s hard to see every single piece of fruit in the bag.

And just like with the fruit, haphazardly, placing people with toxic traits in our shopping carts are only going to lead to us having toxic hearts, minds, soul, and spirits. We end up buying fruit by the bag when we join clubs, Bible study groups, Ministries, and Churches where we have no way of knowing that there are a few rotten fruit in the bag until we see these individuals outside of their usual places and spaces.

And sometimes even then, it may take a few years, and extensive healing and growing on our part towards self-actualization before we are really able to assess that these particular individuals have existed in our lives all along for Satan‘s agenda of stealing, killing, and destroying us.

So what is the lesson for us in all of this? Never be in a hurry when you’re shopping for fruit.

Relationships-Who’s Doing the Watering?

The growing requirements of a seed is evident. Our relationships are the same way.

We cannot expect them to grow when they are one-sided. If we are sowing all of the seeds, there is one-sided reaping that will happen. When we don’t have the true light and knowledge of God‘s word to guide us, we get caught up in false doctrine, twisted theology, and limited worldviews.

When we are not checking to make sure that the soil of the person’s heart is healthy, we leave ourselves open to be injured over and over again. When we are not assessing the temperature on the thermometer showing that frigid temps have taken over, we keep trying to hope and pray that some kind of way, our relationships will get watered without the other party doing the work.

What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task.

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

1 Corinthians 3:6-9

Relationships-Who’s Doing the Watering?

We stay in places, ideas, things, and relationships that have dried up a long time ago because we fail to obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit, our instinct, intuition, and discernment, along with the evidence of the countenance of the individual changing.

We want to idolize the history. We want to idolize whatever small amount of value the individual may be giving us. We want to idolize the good old times. But when we idolize the good old times, the new thing that God is doing is what we miss out on.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:28-19

When it comes to being in relationships with narcissistic individuals, several things will always be present: spiritual blindness, arrogance based on insecurity, hardened hearts, and toxic envy, and jealousy. This means that the empathic, prophetic side of you will always be at war with the demonic side of them seeking to kill, steal, and destroy everything in its path.

At the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves, do we want to live in dry land forever ?

And it came to pass after a while, that the brook dried up, because there had been no rain in the land.

And the word of the Lord came unto him, saying,

Arise, get thee to Zarephath, which belongeth to Zidon, and dwell there: behold, I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee.

1 Kings 17:7-9

Until next time,

Be blessed

#relationships #relationshipgoals #watering #seeds #sowing #reaping #narcissism #narcissist #spiritual #empath #love #loveandfreedom #katinahorton

The Self-Righteous Cerebral Narcissist

Self-righteousness is a stance that any one of us can be guilty of. And being prideful about what it is that we know is also possible.

However, when it comes to an individual who is a self-righteous cerebral narcissist, the concepts of self-righteousness, where an individual loves rules and laws, and how they follow them; along with taking pride in their knowledge and intelligence, we are talking about pathology.

Unfortunately, these two issues are seared into their personality, and have been made this way through the usage of trauma as a portal.

We often correct our children. However, when it gets to the point of adults constantly correcting other adults about their language usage, and understanding of words, it gets to be too much. And overtime, being in relationships with these types of individuals can wear down on your self-esteem and self worth because of the cost and put downs about what you do know.

So how would you know if you are in a conversation with a self righteous, cerebral narcissist?

These individuals will behave just like the Pharisees did in the Bible. And their behavior can become so annoying over time, that it’s just like getting bit by a viper little by little.

You will experience one-upping competitions involving knowledge during the entire conversation. Secondly, they will make you feel like you don’t know anything. Thirdly, they will take the information you gave them and use it to one-up other people they’re in relationship with. And lastly, they will take their entire agenda of how they run their lives, and then force it onto you. They will also add other things on to this agenda that’s especially for you just to get a rise out of you doing them.

Self-righteous cerebral narcissists appear to be extremely responsible and knowledgeable in all areas. However, underneath it all, there exists rigidity, emptiness, and a void in their hearts and souls that is filled by obtaining knowledge, and following mountainous rules, of which they add on legalities, but never coming to the truth and understanding of God’s love.

#psychology #pathology #npd #narcissism #narcissist #selfrighteous #cerebralnarcissist #empath #healing

The Brood of Vipers


Vipers are known for having patterns and colors that blend in well when it comes to their surroundings. So, if you are hanging out with your family on a campground, getting ready to go start a fire for marshmallows and warmth, you might ride up on a viper.

Paul was setting up a fire for himself and the other men after being shipwrecked, and instead of picking up firewood sticks, he picked up a viper that hung onto his hand for dear life.

Why are vipers so successful at what they do? They use ambush foraging.

They are the narcissistic individuals who sit and wait for long periods of time to conserve their energy. Because they wait for the perfect time to attack you by surprise, you are destabilized and immobilized in your body, causing a freeze trauma response.

How does this happen?

When they attack you, they inject venom inside of your mind, body, soul and spirit, wreaking havoc on your emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual being.

Vipers usually hang out in groups like the Pharisees and the Sadducees, waiting to use a second party to entrap the third intended victim. Whenever a viper injects you with their venom, you become the poison container for all of their family’s past and present trials and trauma, the sin of certainty, their Holy Spirit box, and the Leviathan spirit, twisting and turning words around from scriptures, and attacking your motives.

John spoke of the vipers as a brood, meaning that they were a family belonging to Satan, the serpent in the garden of Eden. He knew that the Pharisees and Sadducees, coming to watch him perform baptisms was nothing but a setup for an attack. And if you are not careful, the Pharisees and Sadducees that are in your life will do the same. Their cover is being extremely spiritual/religious, knowing all the rules and regulations, and having an image of being put together. However, their hearts are far from what is being displayed. Double-mindedness, closed-mindedness, and fixed mindsets caused them to perpetuate their legalism.

Catch the next post where I’ll be talking about the python spirit.

Until next time,


The Tree of Knowledge

Satan offered Eve false hope, and she drank the Kool-Aid.

There was only one thing that he promised her would do the trick: the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

When you met up with your narcissistic partner, he mimicked Satan, the first narcissist.

Satan offered you false hope, and you drank the Kool-Aid. There was only one thing that he promised would provide this hope: the forbidden man who appeared to you as if he were a tree of knowledge.

Which tree of knowledge will you pull from?: God’s or Satan’s.

Until next time,


#npd #narcissism #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #psychology #narcissisticabuse #treeofknowledge

The Cycle of Learning & Knowledge Addiction

You’ve been running on the hamster 🐹 wheel 🛞 for a while. What’s keeping you there? You’re running on LACK.

The Lack Cycle of Love. Approval. Comfort. & Knowledge Addictions.

Your knowledge addiction is reinforcing your comfort addiction. The comfort addiction is reinforcing your approval addiction. The approval addiction is reinforcing your love addiction, and your starting and ending point remains the same.

If you could just watch one more video, read one more book, or listen to one more podcast, you know you’d be ready for action.

Stop lying to yourself.

You’ve been in this “learning” phase for over 10 years now.

Email me to start your Love & Freedom Toxic Relationship Recovery Program Without Financial Roadblocks today.