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Episode 16: The Comparison Trap

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 16: The Comparison Trap
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In case you missed our last podcast episode, The Sin of Complaining, you can find it here. Today’s podcast deals with the Comparison Trap. It is the issue that is ripping families, churches, and friendships apart. Yet, we still can’t seem to find a way to get out of it. Let’s explore the topic a little bit further to see how destructive it can be, and what solutions we can implement in order to get out of it.

Outline of The Comparison Trap Podcast

  • I’ll Take Your Man
  • I Can Have More Babies Than You
  • Created in God’s Image
  • Maximizing my Gifts/Talents
  • Minimizing my Gifts/Talents
  • How Does God View The Comparison Trap
  • Solutions to the Comparison Trap
  • Bible Verses to Meditate On
emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, comparison trap, leah, rachel, struggle, uniqueness, valley of grace, katina horton, writer, author, blogger, lifestyle, character development, podcast, podcaster
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Psalm 8 King James Version (KJV)

O Lord, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.

Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:

All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;

The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.

O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

Suggested Post

8 Truths to Pass On to Our Older Children

Background on 8 Truths:

If we are parents, we know that at some time or another we will have to face the time of our children going away to college, and/or moving out on their own. It is during this time that we will wonder if they will remember all the truths and wisdom they have been taught. Then, our second concern is whether they will implement these truths in their lives. In this post, I am breaking down eight truths that we can pass on to our college bound/young adult children.

truths, spiritual health, college, young adults, blogger, writer, poet, podcaster, blogger lifestyle, God's timing, lifelong dreams, plans
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God is our only constant. Your life is going to be filled with a ton of surprises. You will say hello to new classes and then goodbye to old classes. Friends will come and go. Some friends will be around forever, and then others will be there for a season. You will disappoint others, and others will disappoint you. You may have to move several times in your life after having gotten comfortable in the perfect location that God placed you in. The one constant that we have is our solid rock Jesus. He will be the stable foundation that is there when nothing and no one else is.
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. (Hebrews 13:8, KJV)

God’s timing is best. You will make tons of plans. They will be picture perfect. You will have dotted all of your I’s and crossed all of your T’s. Your plans may not work out. God isn’t ready for it to happen yet. Either he is preparing other people to work along with you, or he is preparing you and your heart to work along with other people. Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

God will use the good and the bad, even when we don’t make the best choices. As Christians, we are sinners that are saved by the grace of God. And thus, even when we mess up, and we will because we are not perfect, God will use everything for his glory. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

God’s word will keep you on the straight and narrow. It will be tempting to skip out on reading God’s word. However, God’s word will hold you up in life when nothing else will. It never changes. It is living and active, and sharper than a two-edged sword. It is music and a minister of truth to our souls. It will give you direction when you are feeling lost. Psalm 119:105 Thy Word Is a Lamp Unto My Feet and Light Unto My Path.

God is enough. It will appear that everything else in this life will fill your empty, craving soul. You will think that if you only get this one thing that it will make you happy. You will find out that only God can. When you try to fill your soul with other people and other things, it will leave you feeling emptier and emptier until you fill yourself up with Christ, and then God will make everything else a bonus.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

God’s grace covers us, but we can’t avoid the consequences of our actions. Whether we are planting good seed or bad seed, fruit will be the end result of our actions. God doesn’t give us consequences because he hates us. He does it because he loves us and he knows what’s best for us. Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

Everything that we have belongs to God, even our money. We may think that because we worked hard, it means that everything that we have is ours. We are only the managers. God is the owner of it all. He wants us to be good stewards over everything that we own. When we put God first, he blesses and honors that.
The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; Psalms 24:1, NIV

Keep yourself grounded in the Body of Christ(church community). It will be tempting to isolate yourself when you are going through things. The body of Christ will be there to be the hands and feet of Jesus, along with helping to restore you back to him.

God bless,

Katina

Other related posts:

God’s Timing is Everything

Why Not Me?

Background on the Poem Why Not Me?

It is so easy as individuals, and particularly women, to get caught up in the cycle of the comparison trap. We wonder why God hasn’t fulfilled our very deep soul longing for our desires. We often forget that God is on a different timetable than ours. Praise him for his faithfulness as you wait for your breakthrough! God bless!

comparison, women, poetry, emotional health, mental health
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Why Not Me?

Why her and not me?

I am gifted, don’t you see?

I have read all your word.

Practiced all that I’ve heard.

I sang in the choir.

Served others till I tired.

Yes, I know that you’re the one,

Praising me from morning’s dawn.

I also know when you are ready.

When others’ gain is not your petty.

And so, for now, just focus on me.

Your breakthrough is coming.

I guarantee.

Other poems to check out:

Trials

The Body

Episode 15: The Sin of Complaining

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 15: The Sin of Complaining
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Background on the Sin of Complaining:

When was the last time that you complained? Was it this morning? Did you complain because you had to get up out of the bed, and you didn’t get enough sleep? Did you complain because you had to cook breakfast, and no one washed the dishes the night before?

emotional health, mental health, psychological health, complaining, podcasts, podcasting, podcaster, author, blogger, blogs, Moses, Aaron, children of Israel, upset, reframing, thinking, changing our thinking, wilderness, trauma, PTSD, slavery
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What about going to work? Did you complain about the fact that you barely had enough gas in the car to get to work? To make matters worse, someone cut you off on the way to the office, and then they mouthed a few words that you wish you hadn’t seen. We all complain at one time or another. However, complaining is sin, and it affects everyone else around us when we start doing it.

Take a listen to this week’s podcast to find out what complaining does, and how we can do less of it.

Outline of The Sin of Complaining Podcast

  • Six Truths That Come From the Sin of Complaining
  • Bible Verses to Meditate On:

Numbers 11:1-11 New International Version (NIV)

Fire From the Lord

11 Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. When the people cried out to Moses, he prayed to the Lord and the fire died down. So that place was called Taberah,[a]because fire from the Lord had burned among them.

Quail From the Lord

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!”

The manna was like coriander seed and looked like resin. The people went around gathering it, and then ground it in a hand mill or crushed it in a mortar. They cooked it in a pot or made it into loaves. And it tasted like something made with olive oil. When the dew settled on the camp at night, the manna also came down.

10 Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents. The Lord became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled.11 He asked the Lord, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me?

Click here for the last podcast: Episode 14: Broken Pieces Introduction.

Episode 14: Broken Pieces Introduction

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 14: Broken Pieces Introduction
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Background on Broken Pieces Introduction

broken pieces, broken pieces introduction, paperback, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, revolving door, toxicity, relationships, comparison, anxiety, depression, healing, broken healing, abuse, broken identity, blogger, author, author life, blogger life, podcast, podcaster, podcaster life, podcasting, trauma, pain, self-awareness, come to Jesus moment, complacency, stagnancy, shame, guilt, wisdom, acknowledging

The book Broken Pieces was released a few days ago. The poem that I wrote, which is also included in the book, can be found here. In this episode, we are dissecting the reason for the name, the chapters, and the overarching theme of the book. The introduction of the book will be read to help give listeners insight into wh
Broken Pieces is really about. Does the issues resonate with them? And if so, how to seek ways for God to glue these pieces back together.

Broken Pieces Introduction Podcast Outline

Introduction of the Book Chapters

  • Introduction
  • Broken Identity
  • Broken Thinking
  • Broken Approval
  • Broken Dreams
  • Broken Faith
  • Broken Judgment
  • Broken Shame
  • Broken Comparison
  • Broken Conflict
  • Broken Relationships
  • Broken Forgiveness
  • Broken Healing

Reading of the Introduction

Bible Verse to Focus On:

John 10:10

King James Bible
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Unfaithful

The last poem that I wrote, Broken Pieces, can be found here. This poem describes the sad turn of events that occurred between Leah, Rachel, Uncle Laban, and Jacob. The conversation that takes place is between Leah and Laban, her dear old daddy. Rachel was noted as being beautiful, and Leah was not. This comparison trap led to Laban tricking Jacob into marrying Leah so that Leah wouldn’t have to be without a husband. It also meant that Laban didn’t keep his end of the deal as far as fair payment for Jacob.

bride, unfaithful, trickster, poetry, poem, blogger, poet, blogger life, podcaster, author, Laban, Jacob, Rachel
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Unfaithful

She is pretty.

I have weak eye.

Oh now, what will I do?

Don’t you worry!

In a hurry!

Just change clothes.

I’ll push you through.

Get him drunk as a skunk.

He will think you are dear Rachel.

I’m a pawn.

And at dawn,

He will see you’ve been unfaithful.

Bible Verses to Meditate On:

But when evening came, Laban took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and he slept with her.  And Laban gave his servant girlZilpah to his daughter Leah as her maidservant.   When morning came, there was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob said to Laban. “Wasn’t it for Rachel that I served you? Why have you deceived me?”…

Genesis 29: 23-25, Berean Study Bible

Episode 12: Lost in the Woods of Trauma

The Valley of Grace Podcast
The Valley of Grace Podcast
Episode 12: Lost in the Woods of Trauma
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Have you ever lost your kid? That’s the scariest thing in the world? What about you? Have you ever been lost yourself? I mean really lost!!! Think about how you felt. Today, on Healing Our Brokenness, we are going to discuss being lost in the woods. Lost in the woods is a term that I give for “Identity Issues of Trauma.” I described this issue in the poem that I wrote that is called, “Stolen Identity”. You can find that poem here.

trauma, identity, stolen identity, anxiety, depression, emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, ptsd survivor, podcast, poet, poetry, podcaster, blogger life, blogger, author, woods, lost, rock bottom
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  • Lost in the Woods of Trauma Outline
  • Discussion of Being Lost
  • What Led to My Discovery of Being Lost in the Woods
  • How I Grounded Myself
  • What did David Do When he was Lost in the Woods?
  • Bible Verses to Meditate On

Psalm 143 King James Version (KJV)

143 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.

And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.

For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.

Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.

I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.

Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.

10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.

11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.

12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

Stolen Identity

One of the worst things to happen is to be a victim of stolen identity. Sometimes it can take a couple of years to recover all the information that has been lost. When you are Living With and Healing from Trauma on a Daily Basis, you also experience a sense of stolen identity. This poem has been written with the hopes that you can relate and find comfort in Our Creator, who gives the final stamp of approval.

judge, stolen identity, ptsd, anxiety, depression, ptsd survivor, blogger, author, speaker, lost, emotional health, mental health,
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Stolen Identity

Identity.

Broken.

From trauma’s pieces.

Unspoken.

Like a little child.

Lost in the woods.

Look at all the roles.

And then all the should’s.

Where am I?

Who am I?

How do I get back?

judge, stolen identity, ptsd, anxiety, depression, ptsd survivor, blogger, author, speaker, lost, emotional health, mental health,
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Follow the cross.

Where it gives no slack.

You are in the court building.

Where the Judge sits on high.

Where his throne reaches ceiling.

And then out through the sky.

“You have been adopted.

You know who you are.

Memories were so blocked.

Had you traveling way too far.

Ground yourself in me.

Where you’ll find your name.

You’ve already been set free.

You will never be the same.”

Bible Verses to Meditate On:

 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 2:9

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:

John 1: 12

he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—

Ephesians 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Jeremiah 1:5

Transformation

The last poem that I wrote is entitled, “Rubble”.  This poem deals with the trials that we face and our responses to them.  You can find that poem here.

Today’s poem, “Transformation”, deals with the transformation and renewal of our minds and hearts.

poet, blog, blogger, poetry, renewal, minds, hearts, Romans 12

Transformation

Savior, renew my mind.

Make me new wine.

Please fill my jar.

Right where you are.

Make me complete.

From head to feet.

Start with the heart.

Can’t miss the mark.

Bible Verses to Meditate on:

Romans 12: 1-2

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Matthew 15:19

For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Oh Self-Pity!

Earlier this week, I recorded a podcast on self-pity, entitled, ” Woe Is Me!”  You can find it here.  Today, I wrote a poem on self-pity to help us all deal with its spiritual stronghold.

Oh Self-Pity!

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Oh Self-Pity! Oh Self-Pity!

You have built your own little city.

“Look at me! Look at me!

Don’t you see me suffering?”

 

“I’m the victim, full of sad.

Turning inward all the mad.

Oh, dear God, but I’m your friend.

When will you take the revenge?”

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(God Answers)

“Take Mercy and Grace, Make them your friends.

That inward thing, your heart will mend.”

 

“Oh Self-Pity! Oh Self-Pity!

God has destroyed your little city.

Look at me! Look at me!

God has surely set me free!”

 

self-pity, stronghold, blog, poetry, emotional health, mental health, turning inward, brokenness, healing, ptsd, abuse, trauma, spiritual warfare, author, podcaster, blogger
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Bible Verse to Reflect on In Regards to Self-Pity

 

73 Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.

But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.

For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.

They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.

 

Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.

Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.

They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.

They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.

10 Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.

11 And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?

12 Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.

13 Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.

 

14 For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.

15 If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.

16 When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;

17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.

18 Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.

19 How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.

 

20 As a dream when one awaketh; so, O Lord, when thou awakest, thou shalt despise their image.

21 Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins.

22 So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee.

23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.

24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.

 

25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.

28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.