by Analysis of Avoiding Conflict
I used to think that avoiding conflict was good. I thought that avoiding conflict was the same thing as avoiding confusion, strife, and extra drama. I took pride in thinking that avoiding conflict was keeping the peace. I was so wrong about that. What I was doing was avoiding dealing with a small problem, which later became an out of control problem. This was due to fear of the response of the other person.
What God revealed to me recently was profound: We are all broken, and so when we avoid conflict, we are avoiding dealing with the problems that arise between two or more broken individuals.
This podcasts dissects all aspects of the word conflict, by giving the things that occurs when we avoid conflict to going through the steps to take to resolving conflict.
- King Solomon Handled Conflict
- Used Wisdom
- Used Discernment
- King David Refused Conflict
- Used Avoidance
- Used Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Bible Verses to Focus on:
1 Kings 3: 28
Everyone in Israel was amazed when they heard how Solomon had made his decision. They realized that God had given him wisdom to judge fairly.
2 Samuel 13: 21-22
When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.(2 Samuel 13-21-22)
2 Samuel 13: 28-29
Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled. (2 Samuel 13:28-29)
2 Samuel 13: 37-38
Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son. After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. (2 Samuel 13:37-38)
2 Samuel 18: 14-15
Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree. And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him. (2 Samuel 18: 14-15)
Matthew 18: 15-17 If Your Brother Sins Against You
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Revelations 2: 1-6
2:1 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write the following: “This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has a firm grasp on the seven stars in his right hand – the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands: 2 ‘I know your works as well as your labor and steadfast endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil. You have even put to the test those who refer to themselves as apostles (but are not), and have discovered that they are false.
3 I am also aware that you have persisted steadfastly, endured much for the sake of my name, and have not grown weary. 4 But I have this against you: You have departed from your first love! 5 Therefore, remember from what high state you have fallen and repent! Do the deeds you did at the first; if not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place – that is, if you do not repent. 6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate.
This spoke to me a lot thank you! I have avoided so much conflict because it seemed easier, I think I thought I was too weak!
Yes, it does seem easier. I have found out the consequences of not doing so several times in the last four years unfortunately! Blessings!
What’s the secret? How do you face conflict head on without living through the fear? Blessings to you
I actually am fearful as I deal with the conflict. Sometimes more fearful than others. What motivates me is that I want to keep growing and healing. What I notice is that when I avoid conflict, I am usually ignoring my feelings, concerns, and value out of fear of what someone else is going to say. This is a lot of what happened in an emotionally abusive marriage that I was in. Because I am further along in healing, although I live with trauma on a daily basis, I look at it as if I don’t, I am silencing my voice, and neglecting my own needs as I did in the marriage, and I don’t want to go back to the place. I want to keep growing and respect myself, which will in turn to people how to treat me. Plus, then I can release of all the negative energy associated with ignoring my own needs and concerns in the avoiding. So basically, the motivation to keep healing and growing, and not going backwards, makes me do it even with the fear attached, if that makes sense.